Can you possible help sort this statement out, its the first draft and we feel its a bit jumbled and could do with some fancy wording!
Its for my friend who at last has freed herself from this twat who made her life living hell!
Thanks
29th March 2006
Dear*,
I am writing in regard to the short statement you requested, here is as follows:-
For many years MR consistently spent the income before any bills had been paid, food had been bought or gas and electric had been purchased on the key meters. For the last two years or so, I had to constantly ask my father for money to feed the children and buy clothes or shoes when they had outgrown the ones that my father had also bought before. I found this very embarrasing to have to ask for money and this being every month meant that Mr * was not taking his family responsiblilitys seriously and was totally neglectful of his family needs and found it reasonable to spend the wages and my wages on cd's, dvd's and eating out at work everyday leaving nothing for anything else. When I tried to get him to discuss the problem, he didn't want to talk about it, or said that he'd stop it but never did. Thousands of pounds worth of debt were run up on credit cards and loans but still he kept spending irresponsibly, regardless of the threatening letters we were getting each month. Two months before I left I went to pay the mortgage and their was insufficient funds in the bank to cover it, and it hasn’t been paid since. I feel this to be financial irresponsibility.
The marital home was bought under false promises that he'd be able to have heating installed as there was none and double glazing because the window frames were rotting away, letting draughts in and the small amount of heat that we did have out. My children developed croup like coughs because of the damp, caused by the lack of proper heating. Even when we did have a small electric fan heater we couldn't run it because we didn't have enough electric on the meter and constantly running into the emergancy credit, or running out completely and having to borrow the money off my dad for electric.
The house was in such a bad state of repair that in the last months I was there, we had a mice problem. We couldn't afford pest control and I had to bait the house myself with shop brought mouse bait. Mr * did nothing to help me and went off to work, leaving me and the children to cope. The mice ate my daughters curtains and toys, they were under floor boards. I felt he moved me away from my family and best friend to distance me from my support network. And when I visited my family and friends i was made to feel guilty. If it wasn't for my free train pass that came with his work company, i feel i would have never been able to visit due to lack of money.
Mr * developed a drinking problem towards the end, drinking days over the weekend, isolating himself away from his family, not wanting to join in or spend time with his children or me. He became quite violent on one occassion because i tried to talk about the situation he flew into a rage and trashed the sitting room in front of the children. He really scared me and the children and was an emotionally bullying. He was either at work all day leaving me and the children with no money, to cope with debt bills and phone calls and mess he'd got us into or he was sitting upstaires alone on the computer taking no interest in us at all. When asked or pleaded he didn't want to talk about it he was totally emotional neglectful to all of us.
Mr was totally emotionally bullying and controlling and neglectful of my needs and more importantly the children. The last year i worked part time and had to leave the kids in his care while i was at work, and on one occassion left them downstaires all day alone until i came home from work, they were 5 and 6 and hadn't been given anything to eat all day telling them to get it themselves. Given the fact that there wasn't nothing they could get themselves without cooking, i feel this was absolutely disspicable and brought me to tears this sort of behaviour was a daily occurance this is no normal way for a father to behave. He was very controlling and wouldn’t compromise on anything at all, it was his way or no way. We didn’t function as a normal family, I was the one bringing up the children and he was like a lodger, he never came to the park with the children, never went to family functions and never changed a nappy or bathed his kids. He didn’t play a fatherly role in their lives at all he was just there, locked away from reality. Leaving me and the children to cope alone and pretending everything was alright. He is a very selfish man only thinking of himself and what he wanted he never ever put his kids first in any respect. I cannot think of one instance where he involved himself in family life, it’s disgusting but it’s true. When we had visitors, he put on a front and made out he was participating in our lives but he wasn’t. Or he would hide upstaires as normal, leaving me to feel awkward with visitors.