In a mess.

[needahandtohold]

Not sure if I should be posting in here, mental health, relationships or where. But Iwould really appreciate some handholding.
I have had PND for the last 18 months - I have not dealt with it very well. I have merely been functioning and have got myself into a complete mess financially. I have kept on ignoring letters/texts/phonecalls.
I can't go on like this, so have decided today is the day I open all the letters stuffed in the back of my drawer.
What prompted this was that I know that my current account is overdrawn (don't know by how much, i actively avoid looking) but I have a dd that still comes out of it each month. I don't take any cash out of it, as i know there won't be any. My child benefit goes in there, but yesterday I decided to change the account my CB goes into, only when I spoke to the CB helpline they said it doesn't go into the account I thought it did and i should contact my bank. But I am scared to contact my bank.
I owe water rates and mobile phone charges. But I don't know why! Well, I do know, it is because I haven't paid them, what I mean is that I don't know why I get like this. I have been in this situation (but worse) when I had PND 12years ago and i really thought I had a handle on it this time.
Can someone please hold my hand whilst I open the first envelope and make the first telephone call. My head is telling me that once I start talking to the relevant people then I will feel better and in control, but the sick feeling in my stomach is stopping me. I feel as though I am battling and arguing against myself.

(hand holding). Good luck OP but there are people who can help. Have you thought about getting some support?

I'm here and happy to hand hold. I was in a similar position a few years ago (but without the PND) and I know that stomach feeling so well. Take a deep breath and call the bank. Remember, they're not judging you (and even if they are, you don't know them) and that you're taking proactive steps to make it better. Good luck.

huggle I guess until I open the letters I don't know what support or help I need. I feel sick and so angry at myself - I just can't seem to behave like an adult when I need to.

hypno So do you think I should phone the bank as my first thing to do? Or should I open all my letters first? I feel as though I need someone to guide me through step by step - pathetic Iknow.

Have you got time to sit and sort it out now? I know that if I tred to do it with DS charging around then I'd have no chance. Please don't be angry with yourself, so so many of us have found ourselves in this position at one time or another, and you won't be the first phone call the bank have had along these lines today.

So, if you have some time and a space, make a cuppa and grab a paper and pen. Open the letters one by one, and make a note of what they say, what you owe, and what immediate action you need to take, minimum payments etc. Take lots of deep breaths, and tell yourself that you are fixing the problem and will feel so much better when it's done. Then, when you have a clearer picture of the situation, call the bank and speak to someone at customer servies. Make it clear that you need some help and advice, and want to make a positive change. Another possibility, which could be more nerverwracking initially but easier longer term, would be to go down to the bank and meet with one of their personal banking people. They can help you to go through the letters, organise overdraft extensions if you need them, and cancel any direct debits etc.

Deep Breaths.....

Thankyou Hypno. It sounds so simple and logical when written down.
Right, just contacted my mobile phone company, not as bad as I thought and I have organised repayment on that.
Now for the water - think that is going to bad.

Well done though. Don;t waste energy on regret and anger. Be proud that you are now facing your problems. it's a hard thong to do. x

Well done! You've already done one really difficult thing and sorted it. Like huggle says, be proud of yourself.

Well done!

It is far from easy to face stuff like this, so you have done brilliantly to make that first call.
Can you go into your bank and sit down with somebody to talk about it. Might that be easier than a conversation over the phone?

Consider your hand held x

for holding my hand. You have given me some courage.
So I phoned my bank, I am in credit and the CB is definitely being paid into that account so don't know why CB said it wasn't. So far so good, but then I opened another letter. It was from a company saying they could see could see I had just got a CCJ and they could help me out. I know it must be the water bill, I probably owe about a years worth. Why was I so fucking stupid? If I had opened my letters I would have known that my bank account was in credit then I would have paid my water. Instead I just ignored it all. So do I phone the water company?
The bank, I have to say, were fab on the phone, apparently I have paid over £700 since July 2011 in bank charges (screeeaaaam!) but the lady I spoke to said she would like to discuss it with me and maybe they can do something. I couldn't talk to her then I was crying too much.
Just got to speak to water, then I have faced it all.
Thankyou so much, I have been putting it off for ages, but knowing there was someone "there" who wasn't judgemental gave me the courage to make the calls today.
It scares me that yesterday I was so low i was thinking I would be better off elsewhere. How did I let myself get into this state?

Have you called the water company?
It's important that you do that- else your supply might be cut off!

Don't beat yourself up about it. You are doing so well. Are you going to call back about the bank charges?

to all of you. I bit the bullet,rang the water company and arranged a repayment plan. I owe them £550 They were very nice about it.
The bank rang me back and made me cry even more, they have refunded £300 of bank charges and were so kind and non judgemental. I am annoyed at myself for not ringing sooner.
Everybody, on here and on the phone has been so nice, thankyou, I felt so shit and depressed.
I can't believe I actually did it, I made the calls, I opened the letters. Now I just need to make sure I don't end up in same position again.
again, might seem a little thing to you just responding to a post on here but it made me feel like I wasn't alone x x

Well done, what a massive achievement! You should feel very very proud of yourself for confronting this, bitter experience tells me that its all too easy to keep these things buried in drawers.

Thankyou hypno I feel very empowered now that I have dealt with it but still pissed off with myself that I didn't deal with it sooner. My shoulders feel higher, if that makes sense. This has been building for weeks and weeks. And I still can't believe I actually dealt with it. It has given me confidence to try and sort out the rest of the crap in my life.
& x

You've done so well to deal with it now though, it would have only got worse and worse.

We've all done it you know, when I met dh I didnt go home for 2 months and didnt invoice for work I had done, I ended up with £3000 overdraft!.

You're not alone.

Just wanted to add my well done xxx

I don't know you, so please don't take this the wrong way, but I am proud of you.

Money stuff is shit to deal with.
I've been there, and it left me tossing and turning with worry at night, was my last thought before sleep, and my first thought on waking with a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach.
You have shown courage in facing it today.

That's great about the bank giving you some of the charges back. Good on them as they say round here. That I'll be a big help towards the water bill.

You've done really well. Sometimes I hate being an adult.