How can I find out how much is owed?

[moonbeam5]

Hiya,
My father-in-law has run up big credit card debts in my mother-in-law's name on her cards. He's not being very forth-coming about how much he (she) actually owes and to who. Is there a way she can find out what debts she has as he won't tell her?
Many thanks in advance!
M

Surely if the cards are in her name then all she needs to do is call the card companies?? Doing a credit search with Experian will tell her which companies he owes money to.

If she is the person named on her cards - why can't she just ring up the credit/store card firm or look at her statements?

Did he take out new cards in her name or were they existing cards? If they are new ones she could get the details from a credit report. Existing cards she should be able to access on-line or ask for paper statements. Presume she's put a stop on the cards, registered the transactions with the fraud teams?

They were existing cards that she's had for years. He has taken the cards, been taking her mail, etc and she doesn't know/remember what she's got. I know it sounds a bit strange, but he's been so controlling over her for years that she only gets mail he passes onto her, he answers her phone, etc.

She's just found out about this debt because he had taken brother-in-law's credit card details and put money on his credit card too. We reckon it's up about £35, 000 that he's told her about but she doesn't trust him. She's worried he may have racked up more on cards that she's never used but have been sitting around for ages.

She's unsure what to do next. She's adamant that she doesn't want him to go to prison (they are both in their 60s). He says he has contacted the banks and had the interest on them stopped as they can't affod the repayments.

I was really wanting to know if there was some way for her to find out what other cards she has in her name that he may be using.

Thanks for all your replies x

She needs to contact a credit reference agency, a search will show her the cards and any payment defaults. Once she has this, she'll know the number of cards, and were they are from so she can call them up and ask what the outstanding balance is.

She really does need to contact the Police.

Thank you. My other half and I agree about the police but it may take her a while to come to terms with everything that's happened over the last few days.
I think she has this idea that she'll somehow be able to manage and pay the debts off in very small quantities - she only gets a state pension, no other income or savings.

We'll keep talking to her and try to help her as much as we can.

Thanks again x

It might be worth her visiting the Citizens Advice Bureau who may be able to help.

Best of luck. It sounds like a nightmare

I know. I told her to go the CABureau but she seems to think they won't actually be qualified to help. There's a CAB debtline helpline but it's only open between 11-2pm on a Wed and she doesn't want to ring when her husband is around.

It seems like there's money owing everywhere. Poor brother-in-law is gutted as it will take him ages to pay off the debt on his credit card and he's already lent his dad thousands.

She tried to divorce him once before but he managed to wheedle his way back in and now she doesn't think she'll be able to get Legal Aid to start divorce proceedings again. She's horribly embarrassed about the whole thing, blames herself and wishes she'd divorced him years ago.
Anyway, thanks for reading and for your advice x

"He says he has contacted the banks and had the interest on them stopped as they can't affod the repayments."

That part isn't true. Banks don't just 'stop interest' on cards. They might stop you spending any more money by blocking the card but the interest will keep being added. So I don't think he's being straight, even now.

This is obviously sensitive as the theft/fraud has been happening within the family but the sums involved sound like someone in the story could end up bankrupt or homeless or both. If it is reported to the police as theft & the credit card fraud team as unauthorised use there will be an investigation which may be able to recover some of the money or limit the damage in some other way. If everyone says nothing they will be 100% responsible for paying back what he has stolen.

Your MIL shouldn't let the prospect of costs prevent her from starting divorce proceedings btw. Many solicitors offer a free half-hour session to discuss options and, since it doesn't sound like there will be many marital assets left worth arguing about, it could be relatively simple.

Again, thank you for your advice. I will pass on everything you have told me and we'll see what we can do. She is considering bankrupcy. They live in a council house so hopefully won't be homeless. She can come and live here and kick him out!!!
BTW do you have to pay a fee for an Experian credit search? OH thinks yes but the website says it's free?

they do a free 30 day trial and then you have to remember to cancel it again or you get charged after that

or if you want the bog standard report it will cost £2 and there is no need for the cancellation later

You know, if there's no property, savings, income or other assets to consider and obviously no dependent children then a divorce would be about as simple and quick as it gets. Even if it costs a few hundred to lose him she'd probably be better off in the long-run.