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Original poster

Who gets the house after divorce

15 replies

Debbiethemum · 14/02/2006 14:12

Please we could really do with some advice.
A friend of mine is getting a divorce, but I wont post all the gory details as it doesn't really affect things financial. She will be getting a solicitor (though he wants to sort it out without involving them).
So the big question is what is she entitled to, they have one daughter who is just 3. They both work, he works longer hours but she earns more money. We both believe he has to contribute 15% of net salary to support the daughter, which shouldn't be a problem.
1st question: What about the equity in the house, what is the usual split?
2nd question: She wants to move abroad to be with all her close extended family. Her parents moved here years ago with her but have now returned to their country. There is a good quality of life there, cheap property prices & all of her family. Can she? Can he stop her? Obviously he doesn't want to lose touch with his daughter.

OP posts:

MrsBigD · 14/02/2006 14:21

I'd defo recommend she speak to a lawyer just to make sure she does everything 'the proper way'.

Lawyer should be able to advise on the moving abroad issue as well.

Not much help I know but at least that's your message bumped

Original poster

Debbiethemum · 14/02/2006 14:29

Thanks for the bump
- Whoops it got bumped again -

OP posts:

littlerach · 14/02/2006 14:36

At a rough guess, she's entitled to at least half.
If ashe will continue to be the main carer, then she may be entitled to keep the house.
Generally the CSA say 15% but they aren't always too good at getting it right!1
Then there are things like insurance policies, pensions, ISAs, all that malarkey to take into account.

I guess she can move, but if he objects it may go to court. But if he wants custody anyway then whole different thing. If he is not willing to apply for custody then I don't know what happens.

A friend of mine moved down south after splitting with her DP, and whilst he wanted to stop her, he wasn't willing to have the children, so couldn't .

But all so complicated.

Original poster

Debbiethemum · 14/02/2006 14:49

He is not planning (as far as I know) to apply for custody, but definately wants lots of access and contact with his daughter. If they wanted to move abroad though, he would contest it or apply for custody. He is not a B***d and at the moment they agree the best for their daughter is to stay with her mother (my friend).
My friend has asked me if I know anyone who has been divorced and how the property was split. I was hoping the collective wisdom and experience of Mumsnet would be able to help.

OP posts:

FrayedKnot · 14/02/2006 14:54

If both parents have parental responsibility (which they will automatically if they were married) then your friend has to get her DH consent to move abroad.

FWIW (my opinion, that's all) I would never move a child away from their father, in terms of them maintaining regular contact, unless there were serious extenuating circumstances (violence, abuse etc).

harpsichordcarrier · 14/02/2006 14:56

neither may get to keep the house
financial settlement on divorce will be based mainly on need i.e. who needs what to house themselves and the children andsupport the children.

Bugsy2 · 14/02/2006 14:57

As far as I know, there is no "usual split" with house equity. A court will look at the whole pot of money, any savings, pensions, debts and the equity in the house and then they suggest that the parties come to a "reasonable" arrangement with housing of the child being the priority.
Don't know about the second question at all.

NotActuallyAMum · 14/02/2006 15:01

It really depends on what they own. When my DP divorced last year he was told by his solicitor that everything him and his ex own - regardless of who owns it/has their name on it - had to be split equally. She said that if they only owned a house (not so in their case as there were pensions involved) any equity in the house would be split 70/30 in her favour as she has custody of their dd (DP didn't contest this). As for moving abroad, I think this could be a problem if your DP objects - though I'll stand corrected if anyone knows different

Think your friend is wise to get a solicitor

FrayedKnot · 14/02/2006 15:02

this site is very sueful for basic information related to children & divorce

Agree that finacially it will depend on their entire financial situation, so she would be best advised by her solicitor.

FrayedKnot · 14/02/2006 15:04

useful!

Even if they went to court and your friend was granted a residency order ("custody" isn;t the word they use any more), she would still not be able to emigrate.

ProfessorGrammaticus · 14/02/2006 15:34

She will get minimum of half equity, depends on ability of each parent to mortgage and rehouse, plus other factors, priority is given to child's main home. She needs to see a solicitor, one who specialises in this area - see Resolution, formerly Solicitors' Family Law assoc.

Moving abroad is a contentious area of law atm. She may need to be prepared to go to Court if her ex opposes the move and there is no longer any guarantee that she will succeed, though she may.

Original poster

Debbiethemum · 14/02/2006 15:37

Thanks for all the advice so far. Part of the thing with wanting to move abroad is that she will be made redundant later this year (as will I). We have both been talking about major lifestyle changes which involve us working from home and being able to spend more time with our children, the redundancy money would have allowed us to take a break from work without crippling the household financially and try it out. Her lifestyle change had ideally always included the move abroad, but with her dh as well as her dd, she was still working on persuading her dh that this was a good idea when everything else came to light and the split happened. So though I agree that it would be tragic if her husband lost contact with his daughter, I sympathise with her wanting to move - the redundancy threat has been with us for nearly a year, postponed, and now probably happening in September.

OP posts:

wannaBe1974 · 14/02/2006 21:26

yes her DH can stop her moving abroad, well actually can't stop her, but can stop her daughter from leaving the country.

nooka · 14/02/2006 22:31

Hijack alert - sorry! Frayedknot - where is the bit about emigrating? I have recently seperated from my dh (hopefully not permanently) and he is talking about emigrating. We currently share care on an informal basis, and whilst this works well and I don't want to go to court for full custody, I don't want him to be able to include the children on his emigration application, even though he says he wouldn't want to take them with him until they are old enough to chose for themselves (he is talking secondary age, so a few years off). I would love some more info on this

Somanykiddies · 15/02/2006 12:02

My divorce went through last year and I got 70% equity even though I was living with someone else! I believe your friends ex partner can take steps to stop his daughter from being taken abroad, definitely get solicitors advice.

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