Please help my sister in law

[mrsrosieb]

My sister and brother in law both have learning difficulties and live on state benefits. My SIL's learning difficulties are only mild and she can spell, write and comes across as not impaired. They have 3 beautiful children aged 5, 3 and 7 months and are planning for number 4.

I went round to her house yesterday as she needed a lift to the shops as her car is broke. When I was at the house I noticed a really snazzy TV. I commented on it and she said she got it from the weekly payment store Bright House. She said it was not the TV she wanted but they made her take a cheaper model for a few months to prove she could pay the weekly installments. Concerned I enquired about the TV she is getting in a few weeks. It is a 47" 3D LG and is worth about £2k. As she is buying it on the tick she has to pay £3180 including what Bright House call "optional service cover". I have done some research on various money saving websites and this cover is not "optional" at all. Punters are forced to pay it and that is how the store coins in the majority of its revenue.

I am really worried. They currently do not put their central heating on as they cannot afford it and the children and herself are always wearing the same old clothes. I am worried that as a vulnerable adult she is being taken advantage of and her children will suffer as a result.

What can I do? I have asked my mother in law to try and talk some sense in her and I have given her a telling to. I am livid at Bright House-they are taking advantage of those who may not understand interest rates and dealing with money.

Please do not use this thread to benefit bash-I have only mentioned she is on welfare to illustrate she is of low income. I am really worried and need some advice.

How are they to know she doesn't understand money? I would imagine there is a cooling off period so if you can explain how much she will end up paying she could take it back?

She has not taken the really expensive TV yet so there is time to get her to change her decision. The only problem is persuading her that this is a bad idea. I have tried my best and got her mum to give her a talking to. What else can I do? Even if I informed Bright House she had learning issues they are doing nothing that is illegal and would just sell her the TV anyway.

Bright House are absolutely evil rip off bastards, but they WILL back down if you get angry enough and shout about 'exposing to papers' etc etc. The question really is whether your sister wants that to happen, or whether she's happy with her decision.

As your SIL is an adult, albeit one who is learning impaired, she is entitled to spend her money as she sees fit. If you've tried to persuade her that she can't afford the payments and failed I don't think you can do much else. The only other route you could try is to talk to their social services team assuming they have one. If they are in debt and have poor living conditions, they may need some assistance.

Just to add - the 'Optional Service Cover' can be taken off, if your SIL has adequate home insurance. They don't like to do this because, as you say, that's where they make a lot of their money - but it can be done.

Sorry, I meant your sister, not your SIL.

I think that if she is high functioning enough to care for her children without the input of social services, be married, run a home, etc, then she is high functioning enough to make this choice. Even if it is a poor choice.

If you are saying that she is too vulnerable to understand the choice she has made, then that has implications in other areas. You have to think very carefully before starting down the road of saying someone lacks capacity to make their own choices - even if they are choices you think are foolish.

oh, but if she does have social services input - a support worker, for example - then tell them what's happened.

I think you have misconstrued what I have said. I have a good understanding of medical competence and there is no way she would legally be deemed incapable of making decisions. She can legally make decisions, just they are poor ones.

Companies like Bright House and wonga.com are just exploiting the needy and vulnerable. They are legal loan sharks and should be banned. In fact Lord Sugar is using his government influence to attempt to outlaw firms like these.

In defence of places like Bright House and Wonga etc., they are regulated by the financial authorities and they do publish their terms, conditions, APR% and other relevant information. They are a very expensive way to borrow money and they do appeal to people with poor credit ratings but, unlike genuine loan-sharks, at least they are quite open about it. It is the individual's decision whether they can afford to take up the offer based on the information given. If you're saying your SIL is legally capable of managing her finances, has had advice from you and others, and is in full possession of the facts, you cannot protect her or anyone else from making a bad decision.

To be honest I am livid over this. She is trying for number 4 and her kids are underweight and always wear the same clothes. I know I am being interfering and I should keep my beak out but I really feel for my nephew and nieces.

If they are both on state benefits, with no prospect of either of them working, why are they trying for a fourth child? Is the state going to be financially bringing up that child as well?

OP, I am not having a go at you, you are obviously very responsible and concerned.

I agree with what Hecate said.

Does the family recieve input from Social Services?

Actually, in regards to your last post.

If you feel the children are being neglected, which is what you seem to be saying (they are underweight, not adequately warmed/dressed) shouldn't you address that instead of worrying about what tv they have?

if the children aren't being fed properly then you need to inform SS regardless of LDs. the children need to be cared for properly and she certainly shouldn't be planning on an fourth if she cant feed the 3 she has.

They have already been reported to the SS as the husband hits the kids (I have witnessed this personally) and when the 7 month old was crying in a bouncy chair he kept shouting shut up and repeatedly kicked the chair. I did not report them but I was relieved when I heard they were being investigated. The SS did NOTHING-no evidence of abuse even though I would not lie to you all about what I have seen.
Although I am not a benefit basher, on their income they should not be trying for number 4. I run a cleaning business and have even offered her a job but she is not interested.

mrsrosieb I will be hiding this thread after this post.

Why the actual fuck would you witness someone abusing children and do nothing,
I did not report them but I was relieved when I heard they were being investigated
So you didn't contact SS and inform them of what you have seen, you haven't phoned them yourself since to update them on current issues?

An overpriced tv is the least of your worries.

"The SS did NOTHING-no evidence of abuse even though I would not lie to you all about what I have seen."

YOU did nothing!! did you tell SS what you saw?

I am not going to use this website again as it clearly attracts uncouth people who use f words.

I pity your kids if this is the language you use.

serisously? people are not mind readers!! you said you didn't report them. how are people to know you actually did? (if you actully did )

Calling me a liar now? Get lost and take a spelling class.

nice. how do you know i'm not dyslexic? fwiw i've lost my glasses and can barely function due to exhaustion. my eyesight and spelling dont change what you wrote though.

if you say you didn't do something in one post and then say you did in another how do you expect people to believe you? genuine question.

Um.

This is quite strange.

You are accusing IAmBooyhoo of calling yuo a liar.

But you lied.