Ok, help me turn from a financial duffer into a paragon of thrift

[wickerman]

I am not very good at finance. I hate coupon clipping, I hate shopping around for deals, I'm impatient and I'd rather have it now and save time so I can hang out with my kids or work, than spend ages looking for bargains or remembering which coupon goes for what. In my more cynical moments I think the coupon culture is some kind of slavery, however, when my kids ask me why I can't afford to take them to a theme park when their friends' parents have taken them on tesco vouchers, I baulk a bit.

I separated two years ago from my husband and I'm still living the same lifestyle I was when I was with him, despite my finances being dramatically less. I'm spending emotionally rather than sensibly and am massively overdrawn and over my limit each month.

I know I can make some minor but significant changes like changing my cable package and getting a much better mobile phone deal - but I need to be cutting costs by about £1K a month otherwise I will be in a workhouse by Christmas.

I wish there were a financial guru (along with a handyman and PA) I could employ to come and take an overview of my finances and see where I am making errors, because I don't really see where the money's going.

Please can I have your top money saving tips.

Well you have made the first step by realising there is a problem.

The best thing I ever did was start a spending diary to document every penny I spent.

I also have a big spread sheet of all my incoming and outgoings too see where my money is going.

I would also join Money Saving Expert and post you Statement of Affairs on their Debt Free Wannabe board - there are loads of posters there that can offer advice to you on where to cut back and how.

Cut one thing a day at a time - so one day it's car insurance, the next utilities and shop around mercilessly - once you've got it sorted for the year, stop and congratulate yourself.

I don't cut coupons, never have - never seen a coupon

Post your budget on here and people can look. It is possible you're not going wrong at all, things are a lot more expensive now

Motley Fool Dealing with Debt board is also v good.

Strict budgeting. It's the only way.
Monthly income minus outgoings (easy to work out if you have online banking - if you don't, get it). Don't include food or clothes, but all direct debits etc. Excel is your friend here.

Work out what's left and divide it by the number of weeks left till more income. That's your weekly allowance. Out of that you have to get food, clothes and extras. Once you've paid for food, get the rest out IN CASH and when it's gone, it's gone. Much easier to keep track if it's notes going out of your purse rather than random card purchases you forget you've made. Use Aldi and places, and embrace Value/Basics etc - most of the time they're absolutely fine.

Just paying closer attention helps a lot - you start to see what's excessive and where you're going wrong.

I'm going to recommend you download Microsoft Money Sunset Edition (it's free), take your bank and credit card statements, and spend an afternoon entering all your transactions, income items and direct debits. Once set up, if you keep it up to date each day with receipts, you will quickly be able to see where your money is going by running a few reports. Just keeping track of your spending is usually enough to start the ball rolling.

Comparison sites are also worth an afternoon of your time. Start with a list of all your direct debits and go through each one asking yourself a) Do I need it? b) Can I get rid of it? and c) Can I get it cheaper? If you can save £10 here, £10 there and be really brutal and ditch some all together, you can save a lot very quickly.

Finally,.. be honest about the scale of the problem. If despite all the above your income regularly exceeds your outgoings and/or your debts are unmanageable, you may have to consider more drastic measures to save cash.

You don't have to be a coupon clipper. Good luck

Thank you all. I am, actually, terrified.

Do you have any debt?

Yes, two massive overdrafts which I regularly go over.
And a mortgage.
No credit cards or car - I'm still just about in the preventative stage rather than the curative one. It could be a lot worse.
I earned £150 last year because of caring responsibilities - I'm a writer, so that's not as ridiculous as it sounds, I'm nearly finished on two massive writing projects - and am waiting on a divorce settlement which should ease things a little but it is taking ages and I can't rely on it saving me on time.
Plus my lawyer will probably eat most of it.

Hi wickerman, money, money, money - it's like it has wings. What's worked for me is (1) shopping monthly not weekly so Big Tesco shop - I used to be so lazy I'd not even bother to read the HUGE labels that said 'half price' on things or use the freezer - now I do... then pick up fruit/veg weekly plus absolutely essential go to 99p shop once per month and buy biscuits, choc, snacks, dishwasher tabs a £20 shop there per month saves me at least £60/ month and I buy mainstream brands - doing it this way has saved me £300/ month roughly - I must have been an idiot before. Think your too busy for so many shopping trips? I do my weekly veg on ocado with the monthly pass which is an indulgence but hey I'm mad busy, 3 kids, work, and not all that well. (2) Tesco vouchers are easy - swipe card, done. and if you do it all online you really don't even need to look at a coupon - this year I got £300 spa vouchers used them for essential gifts and last year, legoland. (3) as previously said - excel spreadsheet everything - really really doesn't take long and at least you will stop beating yourself up about wasting money as you probably arent. Good luck - xx