Hubby giving up to be a sahd

[shin1]

Hi all, wondering if anyone can give me some advice? My LO is currently looked after by my mum but she made it quite clear it was only for a year as my parents are going travelling. My OH is desperate to give up work and look after LO, we also have two older kids one who is starting secondary school in sept. I have been saving so that come september we will have a little cushion but I am freaking out slightly. We have worked out the costs and the childcare will be almost the same as OH brings home and it would still be me doing all the running around. Do you think its a mad idea to give up an income, esp in this climate or are we doing the right thing by our kids? We can still afford the mortgage and bills etc on my wages, means we will have to be extremely vigilant on the food shopping and luxuries etc. My OH has been quite ill and now has really high blood pressure due to stress through his job which is very physical. I do think it is the right thing for both him and LO, just scared I guess!

Any opportunity for part time work for OH so he has his foot iun the door jobwise when LO is older?

If your costs are staying the same, you're still doing 'all the running around' and you're losing one income I think it'll be you that is ill sooner rather than later. Looking after small children - and he'd also have a house to keep in good order - can be quite physical. A less stressful job or reduced hours might be a better compromise for him than quitting entirely.

Yes, OH is a fully trained white goods engineer and plumber/handy man. The idea is that once his health is back on track he will start touting for private work. I have a really demanding job and manage all the household stuff and running around with boys (football, friends etc) OH is concerned it is to much for me! Also, it will only be for a a year as LO will come to nursery at the school that I work at so hopefully it will give him time to build up some contacts etc.

Why will you still be doing all the running around? If he's not working he should be doing the running around surely?

I read it that the OP would still be doing the running around if they go for childcare. If that's right, then I would definitely go for the SAHD option. It'll be good for your children, good for your DH and give you a break from the running around.

It'll take a bit of adjusting to but if you can financially stand this change, then go for it.

I think it sounds like she will be doing the running around if they pay for childcare, not if her DP becomes SAHD?

It sounds like a perfectly sensible option to me especially as your DP does the sort of job that a) there will be a fairly constant demand for b) he could do on a flexible / freelance basis in the future and c) he won't be "left behind" if he takes some time away from it. Given that c) is a real issue for a lot of women who become SAHMs for a few years and then struggle to return to work as a result I think he's in a really good position.

Why flog himself and his health into the ground? Because it "should" be the man who earns and the woman who doesn't? Not a very good reason IMO!

As with any transition from two partners working to one staying at home it would probably be sensible to work out "who does what when" in order to hopefully smooth out any mismatched expectations.