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Original poster

CANT BELIEVE THE SOLICITOR LETTER IVE JUST RECEIVED

29 replies

7777777 · 04/02/2006 09:42

Im posting this message and hope when i check later that someone can explain wots going on please.

my ex has a court case going for contact with my ds. we have court in april and a report being completed by cafcass by early may.i received legal aid.

ive just received a letter from my solicitor that basically i read as a blackmail! they are stating that i have to start contact at a contact centre on 4th March or my public funding could cease! its actually worded "if it is deemed that your case is being run unreasonably then it will not be appropriate for your Funding Certificate to continue".

i am shocked, perhaps this is normal, does this mean i have to take my ds to the centre when nothing is arranged through the courts ie:length of visit, frequency of visits.

my ds is only 15months so i obviously just cant dump him there with someone he doesnt even know. this is really upsetting, i just cant believe they can put you in a position like this. either allow the contact or lose your public funding.

OP posts:

WideWebWitch · 04/02/2006 09:44

I don't know the answer 77777 but this does sound awful, sorry. I just wanted to let you know someone had read your post, I hope someone with experience or knowledge comes along in a minute.

zippitippitoes · 04/02/2006 10:11

I don't know the answer but you may find some help from contacting or looking at this website DivorceAid

It is a general principal in adversarial type court situations that the court expects all reasonable courses of action to have been explored before resorting to court action. In this case probably mediation.

hth

Klauz33 · 04/02/2006 10:16

Is there a reason why you do not want ex to have contact with DS?

zippitippitoes · 04/02/2006 10:20

Sorry I don't think by the way that you have to be necessarily divorcing for them to help

obviously I don't know anything about your circumstances so just making an objective suggestion

Bugsy2 · 04/02/2006 10:41

I don't know much about this, but I do know that alot of emphasis is being put on "reasonableness" in the divorce courts these days. I was told during my divorce that is was very important to appear "reasonable" because if the Judge deemed that I was unreasonable & I had to appeal and lost, then I would have to pay the other side's legal costs.
You need to get more details about what will be involved with the supervised visits. It may well be that you can request to be present or that you could send another representative to be there - particularly if your ds has never had contact with his father.
Your solicitor may be able to counter, that it is "unreasonable" for a very small child to be left with someone they have never met (if that is the case).

Original poster

7777777 · 04/02/2006 11:31

thanks for your replies, i still dont understand how contact can go ahead with no welfare reports or court order being completed till AFTER the contact has commenced? it seems that they are doing it all back to front

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gigglinggoblin · 04/02/2006 11:41

that sounds very odd 7s, i have been through court a few times with my idiot ex and its never easy. basically, you get public funding only if you have a chance of winning your case. if cafcass have said they think you should go to the contact centre you have to do it really, as what they say in their report is usually what the judge will go along with. if you wont do what they want, they will probably write a report in your ex h favour and you wont win, therefore you will lose your public funding.

i am a bit surprised that your solicitor has just sent you a letter saying this. i would do nothing til you have spoken to your solicitor and clarified whether or not you are supposed to be doing it now and why. if you need further explanation call your cafcass officer, they can speak to you about the decisions they make so they should be able to explain it better.

do you like your solicitor? a good solicitor can make all the difference. remember that they are not doing you a favour, you are employing them - even tho it is publicly funded. you wouldnt put up with a rubbish childminder, dont put up with a rubbish solicitor. lots of them offer a free half hour if you want to discuss your case

it might be that they want to see how things go at a contact centre. i dont know your background im afraid, is there any reason why you cant stay? it is not reasonable to expect you to leave a child with a complete stranger. i have also refused mediation on the grounds of domestic violence without damaging my case. the problem there is whether or not the court believes you, they do hear a lot of lies. my ex had been convicted so couldnt really argue.

Mosschops30 · 04/02/2006 11:46

Message withdrawn

Original poster

7777777 · 04/02/2006 11:54

thanks gigglegoblin, i actually havent even met the cafcass officer yet so im very confused.

my ex was verbally abusive to me in front of my ds after having access in my home for 7weeks. he is a very intimidating man who stands at over 6ft and even tho he hasnt ever been violent towards me physically i find his presence v.unsettling.

OP posts:

Original poster

7777777 · 04/02/2006 11:59

hi mosschops, thanks for replying. i had a lovely solicitor with the firm im still with but unfortunately she left, her reaction to this would have been "make him wait till after the court blah blah, we wont be doing him any favours". when she left my case was passed to her colleague and im afraid she seems to be more working for my ex than me! shes made me feel that i am being obstinate and difficult about access, whereas i am not. i knew he'd get access in the centre but her letter is very blunt about the access commencing on 4/3.

i really dont know wot to say to her when i ring monday incase she closes my file and then im on my own.

OP posts:

Mosschops30 · 04/02/2006 12:04

Message withdrawn

gigglinggoblin · 04/02/2006 12:04

i know what you mean. i have been to a contact centre before and although they do have staff there, they didnt stay in the room with us, so i'm not sure if it would be suitable. tbh i dont like the sound of your solicitor. i had a really bad one 1st time i went through this, i didnt realise how bad until 2nd time when he no longer accepted legal aid so i found a far better one who actually gets worked up about things on my behalf rather than just passing on messages.

try to stay calm over the weekend, then get in touch with cafcass on monday and ask them what to do. our contact centre was also a community centre where they had toddler groups. maybe it would be easier to go to a group as there will be lots of people around including staff who can witness any bad behaviour, rather than having a session just for you. im not entirely sure if they can do that, but coming up with suggestions of ways to work round problems will help show you are being reasonable. courts decisions are based on common sense, so as long as you have good reasons for what you do you should be ok. dont get paranoid about losing your funding, my ex was an idiot all the way through and was only threatened with this when he wanted to go for a final hearing to get custody after a cafcass report which was very clear that the kids should stay with me.

gigglinggoblin · 04/02/2006 12:07

omg didnt see your last post (slow typist) but you need to dump your solicitor. you would be better off representing yourself! make appointments with other companies who offer a free 30 minute assessment and find someone better! you are paying her, she is doing you no favours at all. get rid!

Mosschops30 · 04/02/2006 12:12

Message withdrawn

gigglinggoblin · 04/02/2006 12:15

lol mosschops

i was discussing this with my friend only the other day, both of us are at uni, both of us would do anything for our kids, both of us have exes who have never lifted a finger to do anything in their lives and whose only interest in their offspring is using them to annoy us. we concluded that alcohol had a lot to answer for!

Original poster

7777777 · 04/02/2006 12:47

yea all men are wankers.

thanks ladies, ive got a very good friend coming over this aftrnoon to read through the letters and prepare me for ringing solicitors.

ive just reread the letters previous to this one from my sols about the contact and they even state that there will be no contact until a variation is done on the order and it may be that i would CONSIDER using the contact centre prior to the matter being returned to court.nothing is mentioned about me HAVING to use centre or having legal aid revoked.

obviously something has made my sols change her mind and go back on wot shes already put in writing to me!

thankyou very much for all replies, you have put my mind at rest a little.

OP posts:

Original poster

7777777 · 04/02/2006 13:02

also there was a court case on 26th jan that my didnt even inform me about so obviously i could not attend. in my absence the judge has written in the new court order that if i do not attend the next hearing (which i fully intend to) then my ex would be able to apply for me to pay the full court costs!

my solicitor didnt tell the judge it was there mistake i didnt attend court ,they blamed it on legal aid.

def think i need to get a new solicitor

OP posts:

gigglinggoblin · 04/02/2006 13:28

if your solicitor didnt inform you about the court date i think you need to think about making a formal complaint about her. i think you can complain to legal aid, am not sure if there is somewhere else you should complain to (start a new thread on here asking, i know there are some solicitors on here who i am sure would be horrified). copy the letter to her boss.

for now i think i would tell her you no longer want her and get your file off her and write to court and explain you are not keeping her (although i would check how to go about this 1st - im not an expert on solicitors! new thread should get answers). that way you will get all letters direct to you and there is no way that can happen again. i represented myself for a few months inbetween court dates to save money, just meant i had to deal with xps solicitor, nothing difficult. if you get legal aid im not recommending you do it indefinately, but i am concerned that you could lose your case because of this useless solicitor.

Original poster

7777777 · 04/02/2006 13:36

ok gobblegoblin, thankyou, ive just found the letter dated 26/1 and it states "i am just writing to let you know that there was a hearing at maidstone county court this morning and it was an oversight on my part that i had not recorded that we had received notice from Mr solicitor"

i think the judge who originally was very nice to me becoz of ds health probs now thinks im a court refuser. apparently there are only 3 legal aid solicitors in maidstone, so hope i can get one. in the meantime, i think praps your right and i should ask for files and then presume cancel the legal aid?

wot would i name another thread, are there sols on here that could advise if i need to complain do you think

OP posts:

gigglinggoblin · 04/02/2006 15:41

a few mnetters are solicitors, they come on for the same reasons as the rest of us, not specifically to give legal advise but im sure they would be happy to give you a bit of info. just post under legal and money matters something like 'need to complain about solicitor who is going to lose me my son if she carries on, where do i go?'. i am not a solicitor and have never had to sack one, so i really dont know where you stand re getting files etc, you do need to check it out first! i do strongly feel thatyou need another one tho, this woman sounds like she should have been sacked ages ago. am on your behalf! STOP THINKING YOU ARE DOING THEM A FAVOUR! you are paying them to do a job, this is your sons entire life that is being decided. i know its hard to see it that way, but you are going to have to live with whatever happens for the next 16 years, or go back to court to try and get things sorted out (not good). it is important for both of you that things go well. dont be scared of upsetting your solicitor, just remember that everything you are doing is for your son.

i am utterly gobsmacked that she has admitted to you in writing that she didnt tell you about a court date. i would be very tempted to ring the court and explain what happened and ask if maybe it would be worth letting the judge know. you dont want black marks against you if you can help it and the fact that she didnt own up at court is appalling. cannot get over the fact that she has sent you proof of her own incompetency!

gigglinggoblin · 04/02/2006 15:44

just noticed you already started thread. keep bumping, am sure someone will come along. good luck

Original poster

7777777 · 04/02/2006 15:45

thanks gigglegobblin, i posted a new thread but no replies yet. prob everyone out shopping. my friend is here now and helping me to write a letter to the solicitor until i get some replies as to whether to complain to judge and legal aid. thanks again, the messages have beena great support

OP posts:

Freckle · 04/02/2006 17:30

Can you say which firm of solicitors you are with, 7s? I'm in Maidstone and have experience of a number of firms there, so might be able to point you in the direction of the best one.

Klauz33 · 04/02/2006 17:36

You would complain to the law society, who have a complaints procedure. But to be honest, it is going to take ages.... and you probably won't achieve anything other than them having their knuckles rapped.

Though a solicitor, I know nothing about legal aid or family work. However, most solicitors letters especially in adversial work, are trying it on and not to be taken as gospel.

Your biggest issue sounds like your solicitor is not representing you properly. In my experience the best way to get them to do their job is to hassle them in the nicest possible way - ring every day or every other day, apologise for doing so and be very nice. They will get p***d off with you and do their job.

Original poster

7777777 · 04/02/2006 18:29

dont know if i should say or not freckle incase theres someone on here who knows them!apparently only 3 do legal aid, ive got one of them, ex has got the other so only leaves 1!you could list the ones you know for me if you dont mind and i could cut the list down that way incase i need to get a new one, thanks

OP posts:

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