Debt relief order, anyone got any experience? Advice?

[pickledparsnip]

Hello

Trying desperately to sort out my debts of just under 10k. Have split with my partner who I am still living with, and he has recently become unemployed. I stay at home with our son, so as you can imagine money is pretty tight. We've been paying nearly £300 a month back and can no longer afford this. I am trying to sort out living arrangements away from ex as it is awful living together but being separated.

I went to see the cab last week and was advised to get a debt relief order. My ex thinks it is a bad idea as he can pay back what he owes monthly (uh with what money? He is really unreliable) and I'm stupid to willingly bugger up my credit rating (it's not that great anyway!). I am not sure if he wants me to be indebted to him for years with regards to money, or if he wants access to my credit. Neither is going to happen as far as I'm concerned.

I've done some research into DRO and it does seem like the best option, but am genuinely scared of it as it seems so incredibly serious and final.
I am also pretty embarrassed as I had every intention of paying back the money that I borrowed, but I simply cannot afford the repayments.

Anyone else had any experience with debt relief orders? Did you regret it or do you believe you did the right thing? The stress I feel towards this debt is bloody awful, feel on edge every month wondering if we can afford the repayments.

Thank you

Bump

Anyone?

www.adviceguide.org.uk/england/life/debt/debt_relief_orders.htm

Have a look at this stuff - if you qualify - and there are some possible drawbacks and things that mean you may not, go for it. It's supposed to be for people who are on low incomes and hardly any assets with relatively small debts who need a fresh start and so they can afford to survive and function. You didn't mean to be in this position and you should feel no guilt or doubt on that - if you qualify, the remedy is there for you and you need never look back - it has helped thousands of people.

If you don't qualify, there's always bankruptcy as an option. Remember the vast vast vast majority of people in unmanageable debt got there through a major life change: bereavement, relationship breakdown, unemployment.

Look into some more, but I'd take the CAB's advice. They're fab! Good luck :-)

Oh and sod your ex who doesn't have your best interests at heart and re-reading your post, I know the sense of relief you'll feel will be enormous. It is final but once it's done, you can get on with your life.

OP I could have written your post except DP is still employed.

CAB advised me to write to
The companies I had debts with and explain my situation and ask them to write the debt off or provide an alternative solution. Letters only went in the post Thursday but I hope to hear back next week.

If that doesn't work I'll have to look onto a DRO

Find your nearest Citizens Advice Bureau and ask for a referral to a debt case worker, they'll go through all the options with you

Thank you for your replies.

NoPinkPlease thanks for the info. I do qualify for a DRO, think I will go for it as the CAB think it's the best option for me. Some of the debts would have been paid off in 2/3 years, so it feels in one respect that I'm so close to paying them off, but when I think of the repayments it just seems impossible. It certainly will be when DS and I are living on our own.

WinterLover the cab did discuss offering token payments of about £1 a week to pay off debts, but we figured out it would take about 20 years to pay off, and would still give me a bad credit rating. I hope the companies write the debt off for you. Good luck! Can I ask, will that effect your credit rating?

Henry1980 thank you for your reply. I have been to see the CAB. What a great organisation they are! They are the ones who have advised I get a DRO.

Are the debts just in yo0ur name? If they are in both your names then your ex will get chased for the full amount outstanding.

Not sure but I know the DRO stays 'visible' for a number of years

Yes the debts are just in my name. Ex does technically owe me for some of them as I took them out for us/home/him, but as he has awful credit rating it was all in my name. Yes I am an idiot I know.

The DRO will stay on my file for 6 years. I won't be able to borrow money except via the high interest cards/loans, but I don't want to borrow any money. The whole point fo this will be to start again and just live on what I have, no more bloody credit! I am in the process of opening another bank account but with another bank, which I can do now but would probably only be able to get a cash card once the DRO has been processed.

I don't know why I feel so funny about my credit rating, I think it's the fact that it will be affected for 6 whole years. It's not like I will be able to buy a house though, but am a tad worried about being able to rent again within 6 years if I need to leave current property.

I am hoping that the sense of relief that the DRO would bring would make everything else pale into insignificance.

Sounds like you know all the negatives - and good for you for getting so informed and wanting to take action and get some control back in your finances. Tbh, if you've already defaulted or going to default regularly over the next couple of years on the debts anyway, the DRO's not going to make much difference to your credit rating.

I think the sense of relief will be huge from what you've posted. Good luck with whatever you decide.

I took out my DRO a few years ago best financial thing I ever did! I was advised by a company called CCCS they are so helpful and I could have pulled out right up to the last minute. It was a long process and a lot of number crunching but well worth it, just the feeling of having the financial Burden lifted from my shoulders was what I needed, splitting with a partner is hard enough without having money worries to add. Good luck!

I agree - CCCS are brilliant, and give some excellent advice. I was in a similar position to you some years back, and the only realistic option for me was Bankrupcy. I can categorically say it was pretty awful - but NOT for long. Getting over the initial humiliation of my situation was the worst thing, and yes, my credit rating is shot to bits (but it IS restored to something approaching normal after about 7 years...) I only have a basic bank account, no cheque book, no overdraft. I can honestly say that for SERIOUS debt, it is not actually as dreadful as you might imagine, and now I live simply, and manage my money carefully. See Martin Lewis's website 'moneysavingexpert' there are some really informative, supportive links and forums on there, for people like us.

Hi, I know this thread is quite old, just wondering how things went with the DRO ? I am considering one, currently have a joint account which I plan to remove myself from, in the hope that it won't affect my partners credit rating. Not sure this is do-able ? I'm a stay home mum and we are only just managing to keep up with o.hs credit repayments & living costs after him being made redundant in 2011. My debts are from before we knew each other, tbh he doesn't know about them all. Step change ( formerly Cccs I believe ) , advised a DRO , although he owns a vehicle ( not sure that affects me, it's in his name and I don't drive ).
My credit score is in tatters and the amount I owe which may not be much for some, but has left me in absolute bits. Did you get relief at all or was it a bad choice ? I'm hoping to wipe the slate clean and start a fresh. :(

if your credit rating is already affected by defaults etc a DRO will not make any difference to your credit rating. If your circumstances dont change for the better in 12months the debts will be written off and you can have a fresh start with no debts! if you meet the criteria i would apply for the dro

It'll absolutely make no diff to my rating whatsoever , it's absolutely shot to bits. I suppose the only thing I wonder is if it'll affect my partners good rating ? ( or now ..not so good ..as he has adopted my "shi+" - I am hoping removing myself from his bank account may help a bit, and submitting a form to separate our finances / history...if something like this exists ).
Have you had experience with a DRO Keli ? I understand it stays for 6 years on file :-/ x

if you have joint accounts you will have a financial assosiation on the credit file so your credit rating will affect your partners, you can try to file a notice of dissassosiation with the credit ref agencies once you have taken yourself off the account. If you have an overdraft they may want this cleared before they remove your name. I specialise in insolvency and debt so regularly advise on Dros xx

you can find the form for disassosiation on the credit reference agency web sites. equifax experian and call credit you must do all 3

Ahhhh wow. Thank you Keli. We have an OD but at the moment are not actually in it at the moment. I have a single basic bank ac too that I plan to work from once removed from partners.( I'd never have been added on if I knew it'd affect him ) Do you know how likely the credit companies would be to disassociate me ? Is it as simple as filling the form and that's it done ? My o.h also has his car , when filing for a DRO would this stop me ( I understand you can't own a car of more than 300£ or £1000 ) ...it's his car in his name, but its the family car too so unsure how the receiver, or whoever assesses the application would see this :/ . It does sound like the right choice for me as I've spent SOOOO long spiralling and can't go on stressing / scared of phone calls / door knocks any longer. BUT also aware if rejected, £90 is lost x

I had debts which were too high for a DRO but I filed for bankruptcy a year ago and it's definitely been a massive relief. There was no point being worried about my credit rating in my case either as it was already very poor, and as I didn't own property or a car there were no worries about my assets being taken. I didn't have to pay anything towards my debts as all my income was from disability/carer benefits, so in fact I had more money than before I went bankrupt as I didn't have make debt repayments any more.

I had to go to court for bankruptcy but I understand with DROs it's just filling out a form but has to be done through certain advice agencies. If Stepchange have advised a DRO it's unlikely to be rejected (I used them for advice when filling out my bankruptcy petition, they were excellent, although I found the figures they worked with very conservative and I was allowed higher expenses than they considered reasonable).

I have a DH but luckily we've never had any joint finances. Even though we're married and share a home, he's not been affected at all as it all depends on joint accounts. All our bills/mortgage were in his name, so our day to day living hasn't been affected.

I would recommend the forums on moneysaving expert (there is a subsection on IVAs and DROs), they have insolvency workers on there who give really clear advice and lots of others who have been through the same thing, so you can learn from their experiences too. I think they have model letters for the credit reference agencies too.

If are not into the overdraft the bank should allow your name to be removed, its usually when there is a debt there can be a problem.

For the disassisiation you will need to answer the questions on the form - you can find one here www.uk.experian.com/contactforms/consumer_onlinedisassociation.html

If the car is your husband's it does not need to be mentioned on your application apart from to explain you have use of the car to justify petrol expenses

I know this is a really old thread and started in 2012 but wondering how you got on with your debt? I am in a similar position and just reading back on so many people in the same position I thought I would chance it but you may not be here anymore.

Me too poppy! I'm a bit embarrassed and worried about the whole situation. Trying to work out how much better off I will be if I get rid of the repayments. It is only working out at £200 per month which doesn't seem a lot! But I'm feeling. The pinch now 😭

Poppy and vonny. Sounds like you both need specialist debt advice, either from Stepchange, CAB or CAP, or if you want advice from a forum, the Moneysavingexpert Debt Free Wannabe forum is the best around.

You'll be asked to post your statement of affairs (details of income, outgoings and debts) and no-one can advise you on what's best to do without a full picture, because it can be anything from cutting back a bit, to bankruptcy, with a few different options in between and every situation is different.

www.moneysavingexpert.com/debt-help/

forums.moneysavingexpert.com/forumdisplay.php?f=76

What's rarely a good idea is struggling on without a plan, as you can try to pay your debts for years, go without basics and get nowhere, because what you pay gets eaten up in interest and charges and does little to reduce the debt.