Supporting me and DP in London

[LivingOffBeans]

Hello, I really hope this is the right section to post this in.

DP and I are currently both at University and living together. We are graduating this June and I secured a place on a graduate scheme down in London. I will earn between 1200 and 1400 a month, depending on which office they place me in (I don't know where exactly in London I will be yet).

Living expenses will obviously depend on where I will be, but I have had a look into flats and it looks all much more expensive than it does up here in the North.

I am a bit worried how we will manage financially. DP does not have a job for next year but hopes to get onto a grad scheme 2013, spending the year in between improving his CV and hopefully working somewhere. But we obviously can't rely on any income from him, as we don't know whether he will be able to find a job. He is not picky and would be happy to clean, work in fish and chips shops etc.

I am worried what will happen if he can't find a job at all. The amount of money we will have sounds ok at first, but if I pay a flat, council tax, bills and then my transport (public), I am not sure how much there would realistically be left over. Would this be enough to support two people?

We live quite basic now, no TV, not going out a lot and would be happy in a small 1 bedroom flat (happy with a bedroom and a small area in the kitchen to sit in). I have looked into studio apartments but I will often work late at night, needing quiet in the morning etc. I think a studio would mean neither of us would get a good rest, but we would of course do it if it's the best way.

If DP could not find a flat, would he get any sort of benefits? Job seekers allowance? Or would he be completely reliant on my wage? I have no experience with this and would appreciate any help.

I would imagine that if dp isn't picky it would be easier to find work in London than the North with regard to casual jobs etc.I think he would need to earn too.

Depending on where in London you live (ie you'd have to be in Z4 or 5 to be able to afford a flat to rent on the above wage) you would then have to factor in at least another £80 - £100 x month on travel (depending on if you were going into Z1 or not)

Have you got any idea of areas that you could possibly look into now in terms of where to live?

Alternatively you could look into housesharing instead of renting a proerty by yourselves?

We were in the same situation when we moved here but both earning that sort of amount. We could probably have managed on one salary but it would have been tight and we would have struggled to save anything.

Housing costs will vary enormously depending on where you want to be. There are tiny studio flats that cost more than our two-bed house with garden, so it's worth thinking carefully about that! I wouldn't have been happy living in a studio with DP, even though we get on well, I need my space and privacy sometimes!

Though if you're working long hours you may want to be close to work, so you have to consider that sort of thing as well.

I'd also think about what will happen if he doesn't get a 'proper' job next year, could you end up supporting an unemployed boyfriend indefinitely? Do you think this relationship is the real thing, the man you want to marry and have a family with (assuming you want those things). Because if you have any doubt about that, I'd think carefully about whether you want to 'invest' in supporting him like this, when you could be focusing on advancing your own career, building your own savings etc

When it comes to benefits he would be entitled to a lot more if he wasn't living with you, I think. Your salary will be taken into account for any means-tested benefits.

I would also be concerned that if he wasn't able to get a place on a grad scheme this year, will a year spent cleaning or working in a chip shop really improve his chances for next year?

Ephiny, the only thing is that I would say that being closer to work could mean an increase in rent greater than the cost of commuting, especially as like you say the diddiest studios are extortionally priced

I currently live in London with my DP, and I think you'll struggle. Between us we earn about twice what you're expecting, and our 1-bed in zone 3 costs us £930 a month and is pretty scabby. Location-wise we're restricted by work (commuting in two different directions) but we've accepted that we're going to have to spend more than that to avoid the daily emails to the managing agents about damp, broken plumbing, pest infestations, etc. not that I'm bitter

But, as other people have said, it really depends where you work. If you're in Zone 1 you're not going to be able to afford a place nearby, so you should factor in the cost of a travelcard. Bus-only ones are cheaper, and it's possible that your work will provide you with a loan so that you can buy an annual travelcard, which works out cheaper per month than a monthly one (the money will come off automatically from your pay cheque).

I have no clue about what benefits your partner would be entitled to, and I really wouldn't bank on getting a job quickly. He might have more luck if he has bar experience, as there's quite a high turnover. Some of my friend's have done paid by the hour typing to top up their wage, which could be an option.

To be honest though, I really think a flat share is your best (maybe only) option. Because London is so crazy expensive it's pretty common, even for couples. Having experienced it with my DP in three different flats I admit that it's not always great, and you will probably feel like you're mainly living in your bedroom, but it is doable and so much cheaper.

A good website is Gumtree wrt flat/housesharing

I would say that the majority of graduates share accommodation for at least the first 5 years in London. I moved to a 1 bed flat once I earned about £35k. If you want a place of your own it would be essential for your DP to get a job I think.

Thank you everyone, especially for the reality check. I had no idea that most graduates continue to live in flat shares to be honest, up here even a lot of students live in their own flats. It's going to be quite a shock it seems but it's job I really want and am happy to sacrifice a lot for.

I have really no idea where I could be, it's a very flexible job that way, with work places all over London (don't want to say too much to not make it to identifiable). It's probably going to be outside zone 2 though, so not in the middle of the city.

RedHelen, I had hoped it would be easier down there, but other posters seem to disagree. I really don't know.

About the grad scheme situation, he didn't apply for many this year for a variety of personal reasons. I know that's not very good but he is really working hard on it. He has several interviews for internships, pre requisites for the schemes themselves. So we're keeping our fingers crossed.

Ephiny I know what you mean. We have been together for around 4 years now and are in our mid twenties. We are quite serious and I can imagine being with him for the long term. I do want to concentrate on my career though and I am, otherwise I wouldn't have applied for a job so far away from where we are now. I do want a family, definitely.

I am just not sure long distance over such a distance would work very well, especially if I am in a flat share/we don't have much money to travel. But them him coming down to London with me appears to have been a bit unrealistic. We have to work this out somehow.

I won't know till Summer where they will place me and then have to find a flat asap. A flat share for both of us might be a possibility. (I was really looking forward to entering a clean kitchen in the foreseeable future, I guess that dream is over )

I can't really start looking till summer, and I will use gumtree. Might be even harder with the olympics!

Personally I've never met many graduates who lived in flat shares, though I guess it depends - if you're in something like investment banking, most are in a position to afford their own place, in other types of job it may be different. Some do actually prefer to share though, especially if single, for the social side of it. For me sharing is a nightmare, and I couldn't wait to get my own flat, but then I'm a bit unsociable...

Maybe it wouldn't be a bad idea for you though, at least for the short term, especially if you're going to have to make the decision in a hurry when the summer comes. Once you're settled and have had the chance to save a bit (which you should do, as a share is cheaper) you can look around and consider your options for the longer term. Hopefully by then your DP will have a better idea of what his options are as well.

Internships sound a great idea for him, they'll help a lot with getting a graduate place (as I'm sure you know). Better still if they're paid, when I did mine they paid interns at graduate starting rates (plus an accommodation allowance), but even if not the experience and networking opportunities are very valuable.

One benefit of graduate flat shares is that the people aren't students anymore! You'll be amazed (I was), but some people actually begin to appreciate a clean kitchen. Some. At one point we were staying at a place that actually had a cleaner that the landlord paid for. It was bliss.

Do you know anyone in London? Or anyone who is moving down at the same time? We've found most of our places through word of mouth (a friend of a friend with a spare room going), but also had some success with gumtree. I've heard good things about www.spareroom.co.uk but not used them personally. It could also be an idea to get put in touch with other people on the grad scheme as they'll likely be looking for a place too, but living and working with the same people might be a bit too much...

Ephiny, unfortunately it's nothing within the finance sector but a more low paying career. But it's something I feel passionate about and want to do so that's fine.

I am quite unsociable as well and prefer not sharing with many people. But I guess I have to dream on a few years.

He knows pretty much what he wants to do, he is just a bit behind applying. But he is getting there and got some amazing and relevant work experience last year, so we hope this will help. He is now applying for the internship within the same firm he worked for last year, otherwise he can't apply for the grad scheme. Apparently his supervisor from last year wrote him a great recommendation, so here is hoping!

Merrow, I don't know anyone in London. I have been three times and that's it! I like the look of spare room, had a bit of a snoop earlier. There seem to be a lot of flat shares around.
I got a trainings event before the actual move, meeting a lot of other people on the scheme. Apparently there is the opportunity to look for flatmates during that long weekend, as they put on some sort of flat mate speed dating.

DP supports me fully and would rather work himself of course. We're just trying to figure out what the best way of action would be. If I live with people from my grad scheme would they be happy to take a couple in for example? If not he'd be even more out of money, as he would have to find a place to stay himself. We definitely have to vacate this place and he can't go back to his parents.

Oh and marrow, I hope I can find people who clean their stuff up after them. I have lived in a variety of shares now and it's always a disaster. I hope it will be better next year if I end up in a share!

Sorry I completely misread your expected salary in the OP , obviously it's not banking or similar. I think it would be actually pretty difficult to manage supporting a partner on that amount, you probably are best off looking at a house share to start with at least - when your DP is earning as well you'll obviously be in a better position.

Sharing can work out fine, depends a lot of course on who you end up living with! Sounds like a good idea to meet other people on the same scheme, I'm sure many of them will be in the same position of looking for someone to share with. Normally people don't mind sharing with a couple, I've never known anyone have a problem with this.

I live in London and it is fairly common for couples to share through their 20s/30s. DH was in a flatshare where some of the others were couples (sometimes married) when I first met him. It is something that I would have found difficult (I had my own place) but DH didn't mind, they tended to be young professionals and it's standard to have ensuite rooms and dishwashers, which made things easier. But he still had to put up with people borrowing things without asking, others hogging the kitchen all day for dinner parties, having tiny cupboard/fridge space for food and coming home to random people sleeping in the living room.

Having a couple renting does change the dynamic of the place and not all flatshares will like it. Flatshares seem to be very much in demand at the moment so you might have to be flexible and persistent in finding a place. When DH was moving out of his flatshare all his flatmates would arrange to interview about 12 potential replacements for his room and it was quite a selective process. Very different to how I found my own flatshares when I lived in the North, where I just contacted the landlord, had a look around and signed a contract!

I guess we will look into sharing. I will have work to do in the evenings and weekends and am a bit worried we will annoy each other a lot when confined to one room. But I had a bit of a snoop around and it looks like a lot of shared places have a living room so that would be good.

I can imagine that it changes the atmosphere a bit so I will look into flat shares that are fine with sharing specifically.
It all sounds much more competitive down there, plateofspinach!

Financially I think it would be hard to survive on my wage, even in a share. If we assume the room including bills etc costs 1000 pounds, there is not much left. There would be enough money for transport but no extras and food. So DP would definitely have to earn a few hundred pounds. He does have some savings, so we could move down and use those while he is looking for a job. Does that sound realistic?

I really appreciate everyone's support. We don't have much real life support here and it's hard to work it all out by ourselves, while being so far away and not very knowledgable about London.

Depending on where you're looking you could get a flatshare for significantly less than £1000. When things were tight for us we were paying £400 a month all in. Admittedly the first place we stayed in at that money was so appalling we left after a couple of months, but the second place was good. I suspect we got a bit of a friend's discount on that, but even then I think it would have been £500-600 at most. Again, really dependent on where you live. We've mainly lived East, which is really variable on price. South is probably your best bet economy-wise ? we've student friends living in New Cross and Peckham, and they're happy with it, although the reputation of the area isn't the best. Clapham is nice, but the people I know have mainly been priced out. We were looking at moving to Crystal Palace (which is now on the overground line) but it didn't work for us commuting wise.

Basically, I think if you're happy with zone 3 you could get a nice room for about £500 a month.

In terms of flat dyamics we've found:
couple + 1 person = can be awkward, as the 1 person can feel a bit like a third wheel, but generally ok
couple + 2 people = no problems
couple + couple = avoid like the plague. Admittedly we might have had a bad experience but I would really hesitate before doing this.

Thank you Merrow.

Cheaper would obviously be better. It would be great if we could find something within my salary budget for at least a few months to take the pressure off him having to find a job right away, but I am not sure that will work. Something for 600 pounds would be great, that would mean we would have enough. It would be tight but doable, at least for a few months.

I would have thought living with another couple would be best, your experience is very interesting!

My experience could be anomalous, so don't be totally put off! I just found that in a 4 of one couple and two other people everyone was treated as an individual, and if you had a problem with someone in regards to the house (such as leaving towels in the living room or something equally important) you spoke to them directly and things got sorted. Being in the living room was seen as inviting sociability. That sort of thing.

When we lived with other couples it was almost like we were treated as a single entity, and the atmosphere was of two individual households that happened to co-exist in one place. It led to situations where we felt that we were intruding just by being in our own kitchen, and problems were clearly being discussed amongst the other couple before a spokesperson was chosen to address the issue. It was really, really odd.