Please help, I am at the end of my tether with my finances and I'm going to lose it all...

[serotoninbutterfly]

Sorry to post such a horrendous thing - I know we are all in the same boat with the cuts but I really need some help/advice.

Every single month we are behind on something... Rent, council tax, electric etc.

I have just received the letter about TC stopping come April.

What on earth am I doing wrong? Why can't I be like normal people and not be in this ridiculous situation?

This month we have £20 left. To last the month. I only got paid yesterday. And have done no food shopping...

What the hell am I meant to do?

Try moneysaving expert forums on debt - the advise can seem a little harsh sometimes but the people there really will try to help. Be warned that every line of expenditure will be challenged and I think the first advice will be to ditch sky and move the mobiles to pay-as-you-go.

Servicing debts including CC, council tax and rent arrears is costing you a big chunk of your disposable income at the moment. I think you have to do everything you can to get those rescheduled and/or reduced or it will continue to be very difficult. CCCS should be able to help

• Work out your total household income from wages and any other sources. See if there's anything you can do to bring in more money on the '+' side of the equation short-term. Selling things you don't need, for example, or taking on temporary jobs in the evenings leaving the other to babysit.
• Next list your regular outgoings (usually DDs) and categorise them according to whether they are essential, 'nice to have' or not essential at all. Anything not essential goes straight away. 'Nice to haves' like television packages should probably be sacrificed short-term.
• Go through each DD payment and see if you can get a better deal for things like telephone, insurance, utilities. Comparison sites are good for this. Even if you only save £5 or £10/month here and there it adds up
• For non-regular outgoings... petrol, groceries, that kind of thing... do everything you can to set a lower budget. Meal-planning can help you make the food budget spin out. Buy with cash only and you'll spend less than if you put it on a CC
• £45/month on water is very high. Consider getting a water meter and then you can consciously reduce your usage.

Good luck

Re mobiles - if you're not tied in to some long contract, Tesco has a contract phone for £7.50 a month. And if you are tied into a contract, you may be able to persuade the company to let you out (crying on the phone is quite useful, actually).

Best wishes.

We switched from Sky to Virgin and got the phone/tv/broadband down to about £50 a month.
However you could do without sky tv entirely for a while and get it back when things are better.

I have a mobile deal on contract with o2 which is 10.50 a month. In practise I end up paying more like £14 pounds but that is cheaper than what you are on. Obviously if you are stuck in a contract that isn't much help though.

make sure there are no direct debits that you have forgotten to cancel that are being paid out of your account.

You can cut quite a lot in groceries, even if it's just as a short term option. There have been some good threads posted recently about getting a reasonable diet on a tiny amount of money - have a look in the credit crunch section and also on money saving expert - there are a lot of people on there posting about how they are managing to get their shopping costs down.

Thank you all so much for your replies, am off to work now but will check in again in the early hours and see what else I can do.

I really appreciate all the help

Hi serotoninbutterfly

All good advice about shopping around. We pay £50 a month for BT vision package which is tv (including 2 sport channels), internet and phone.

My only other advice would be to actually talk to some of your creditors. It's amamzing if you get in first and explain your situation (rather than wait to be so far behind you're being issued with summons) that they may amend your monthly payments to an affordable level. I did this when I was on maternity leave to ease the burden for a few months before I went back to a normal salary.

Call the council, your utulity providers and your credit card company - they may be able to lower your monthly payments. They rather receive something than nothing.

Good luck.

I think your childcare costs are high, my dd is in 3 full days and i pay 514 a month. Do you claim childcare vouchers through work on a salary sacrifice? That gives you a small tax break which will help.

You have a lot of debt, agree with pp that you should try to get an appointment at the CAB and also visit moneysavingexpert.

Have you got anything you can sell on ebay?

Do you actually need sky?

You will still have to pay for tv license, and shouldnt the basic packages be enough?

We have basic tv, connect our computer to tv, and watch I player if we want something extra.

All you really need is internet.

As for credit card debt, can you switch to a 0% deal for a bit? Keep making payments, but you will be saving on the interest.

Also, see if you can get a better deal on utilities! Go to Motley fool and see if you can get better deals.

Same with insurance. Are you renting? Do you need contents insurance? We have not bothered.

If you don't use the home phone, have you thought about a 3G dongle for internet? Then you don't pay line rental. I have a 5GB per month one from 3 for £16/month, I know that's not much internet allowance but I'm sure you can get bigger ones. I did it to save on phone line installation costs, but it saves on line rental too.

GiffGaff have good deals for phones, or a really cheap O2 1 month rolling contract, and just cut back on phone usage a bit to stay within the minutes, so that when things get better you can up your allowance back to what it is now.

Water does sound high, mine is £15/month... Gas/elec sounds fine though.

Please don't cancel contents insurance, no matter how skint you are. If there is a fire or flood you could lose everything. If you need to save money shop around and get cashback through quidco. You could get contents insurance for less than £100 per year, which is worth it shoudl the worst happen.

Definitely don't cancel insurance policies. But do shop around and see if you can get a better deal. If you are just renting then you shouldn't need to pay all that much in insurance so make sure you are on an appropriate policy for your needs.

I was living in a rented flat up till nearly a year ago. I had the freeview tv and didn't bother with a landline either. I found that I spend £15-20 on topping up my dongle. But I was on a more expensive phone contract then which had more inclusive minutes. If you get a lot of minutes on your phone contract you might also find that you don't need a landline.

If it's at all practical I would consider taking DP off your car insurance, or at least getting a quote with and without him for comparison.

Also if you're not tied in to mobile contracts you could both consider pay as you go and not using it for internet etc. It's not that much of a sacrifice if you have internet at home and can use your landline for long calls.

You could also think about dropping sky totally and getting the cheapest telephone/broadband package you can find and just freeview TV.

Sorry to hear you are having such a hard time.

You need to priortise your debts, make sure you pay rent, council tax, utilities, fuel etc and food before anything else.

Have you tried to make an arrangement with any of the credit card companies to pay a reduced amount every month?

Are you sure you are not entilted to any housing benefit?

Well obviously with the debt being in your Dad's name that has to be a hig priority as you could end up ruining his credit rating too if you miss payments!

Are you on a repayment plan for the debts from your last place?

Re phone/ internet etc, who are you with for them? I pay 6.79 a month to primus for my phone line and 6.25 to o2 for broadband BUT I signed up through quidco and got £100 cashback and 02 give you a £25 gift card. Basically free bb for a year. We just watch 4od / bbc iplayer / get free trials with lovefilm etc (and make a profit via quidco) despite not having tv i still pay tv licence as ive heard of folk getting in trouble as they say if you have a pc you can potentially watch live tv. Im not risking it.

How long is left on the mobile contracts? Would it be worth selling the phone to pay off the contract, then getting a cheaper one (try ebay for 2nd hand phone) not in contract? My phone contract is 300 mins, unlimited texts and 500mb web for £11 a month with O2. (100mb brings it down to £8ish)

Sell on ebay to boost your income a bit. Theres a free listing weekend every fortnight atm. You can create listing in advance and schedule them for up to 3 weeks in advance (I do this then just change it to 'list now' when the free listing weekend rolls around) You would be surprised at what sells. Free listing means you wont lose money if it doesnt sell.

As many here have said, moneysavingexpert is great. Theres meal plans for practically nothing (£13 a week for family of four sort of thing - BlackSaturn is the username to look out for)

www.cheap-family-recipes.org.uk/ is a great site too. Im on a restricted diet so cant eat most of it to tell you how tasty it is, but I have enjoyed what I did make. The flapjacks and raisin cookies disappeared pretty quick too. Its costed at roughly £1 per person per day and includes desserts and snacks, and is well balanced.

Mobile phones - are you still under contract? If not, have a look at giffgaff. They do payg for £10pcm. Loads
Of mins, texts and interet usage.
I called vodafone to leave them to go to giff gaffand they bettered The deal i wason. 3000texts, 3000mins and unlimited internet for £10pcm!!
Good luck! Am in v similar position. Its hell!

Debt free boards on MSE are fab for helping with this, they will help in a very tough love kind of way but they will help.

Fortunately my DH and I don't have debt problems. For what its worth you are paying out on some things that we would never ever dream of paying that much for - we don't have sky, only freeview, and have a very cheap deal (£15 pm) for our internet, pay TV licence monthly by direct debit and pay £20pcm for our phones, which are for emergencies only. I just wouldn't pay what you are paying for car insurance - if your partner has only recently started driving presumably he has other ways of getting to work. I can't bear the thought of my hard earned money going out on things like this that make so little difference to your life - I have the mindset of a very poor person, but a reasonable income to go with it. I just wonder if you were able to think like that whether it might help you a bit. We have just redecorated and furnished a room (should be the dining room, but children use it as den) with bits and pieces off Ebay that are like new but cost 1/3 the price, I know our neighbours will be twitching their curtains when they see it is an old van delivering them and not John Lewis, but this is the way we afford nice holidays etc.

Sorry to hear you are having a tough time of it at the moment, I totally get where you're coming from. I think you've been offered some sound advice on here, I also recommend moneysavingexpert.com, he has some great ideas for saving money.

The most important thing is to keep calm, find some time to sit down and properly go through it. Martin on moneysavingexpert.com says to prioritise everything you're paying out and if you need to reduce your outgoings start with the lowest priority things so obviously rent/childcare is essential whereas Sky tv is a nice to have so sorry, that needs to go.

For everything you're paying out you should look on comparison websites to see what better deals you can get, especially as your car insurance is about to run out - this takes time so set aside enough time to do it. As someone else has mentioned register on quidco and see if you can get cash back when you change insurance/utilities etc. I recently changed our gas/electricity from EDF to EON to get a cheaper deal and did it through quidco who will pay me £50 for doing it. We just have freeview television (although we have now bought a freeview recorder box) so don't pay for any tv packages and get broadband and phone through BT for £22/month. It was higher but I phoned them - make sure on the automated voice menu you select the option to terminate your contract - I said I was going to leave as it was too expensive and he offered me a discount, I said still too expensive and after 'speaking to a manager' he gave me even bigger discount.

I think you should be able to get your mobiles for a better deal, me and my DH changed to 3, it's on a 2 year contract and we get 300mins/texts and 500mb/month for £12.

Have you got a drawer full of DVDs you never watch/CDs you don't listen to? You can sell those really easily along with any old mobiles, make sure you use a reputable company, check the reviews online. I second ebay, I've sold jeans, toys, lots of things you have knocking around that you no longer need or use, you'd be surprised what people will buy! Sell whatever you can!

I also do a meal plan at the beginning of every week together with a shopping list and go to the supermarket armed with the list and only buy those things. Where I live meat and fruit/veg is cheaper to buy at the market - and cut coupons! I check my Asda receipts in case I'm entitled to any vouchers with their price guarantee thing. I have loyalty cards for everywhere I shop. I reckon every little helps (to quote a well known supermarket...!)

Good luck!

I know exactly how you feel. DH lost his job before Christmas and now cannot work due to clinical depression. I only work in a Pre-school so my income is low (and term time) - he has always been the main breadwinner. Here are some of the things we have done;

• Had a appointment with a debt advisor at CAB, she now negotiates with all out debtors this includes getting a stop on interest on credit cards as long as we don't use them. We are now paying £1 a month off car loan for six months.
• Cancelled non essentials like Sky, now have free view which is just as good. Phone & internet with TalkTalk is about £30 a month.
• All bills are monthly direct debit over 12 months, helps me budget as I know whats going out each month and we get discounts for paying by DD. Speak to the Council tax and water as they are not usually over 12 months but they can do this if asked.
• Have a look on the goverment benefit checker on their website, you might be entitled to council tax benefit or housing benefit. It a bit soul destroying sitting in the queue waiting to submit your forms (like that bar in star wars) so I would check the website first.
• As said before Ebay, this might help you pay off that loan. I find that I can sell anything on there though childrens stuff go's best, so have a sort through the wardrobes is there anything thats not been worn for a few years, clothes the kids have grown out of, toys they have grown out of. Saying that I have sold football programmes and even a empty rum bottle. Look out for the free listing weekends.
• I have also started a Avon round, only £15 to start as a consultant and I make about £75 every three weeks. Saying that it does take me a few hours to put out books, collect and deliver orders.
• Check you bills like insurance on a price comparison site, if you pay these monthly direct debit you may be able to cancel them mid year (you would need to check the T&C's) if you can get a better deal. I saved £300 this year on our house insurance.

Lastly speak to your employer about childcare vouchers, this means that the cost of your childcare gets taken directly from your salary before tax and NI. Most childcare providers even childminders take these as it means they are not chasing parents for payments every month.

Good luck and try not to worry too much about it. Getting stressed and making yourself ill won't make it better. As long as you have people who love you and cuddles it can't be that bad can it?

Hello all, thought I would just stop by and update you all with what I have achieved so far.

Have called Sky, have still got basic package and phone/internet for £27.50 a month, which is less than half of what we were paying previously.

I have spoken to my gas/electric providers and let them know the situation, I am going to spread the 2 months missed payments over the next 12 months so that I am not hit with massive bills.

Did a price comparison on car insurance and have a quote now for £45 a month, which I shall take to our current insurer and switch if they cannot match it.

Not entitled to housing benefit or council tax benefit, but spreading council tax costs over 12 months including the missed payment.

Water is the same, and am already paying tv licence over 12 months by DD so that is good

CCCS have offered me a DRO for the 'actua;' debt ie loans and credit cards, so that helps, although not sure if its an option I can take until I discuss it with work

Wonga is paid off, and will not be going near them or their ilk in future.

Am going to Lidl tonight (hopefully) with about £20 my mum has lent me to feed the family this week, only 3 of us so not too bad.

Feeling a bit more postivie about money, and hopefully when I get paid at the end of the month there should be another £100 or so in my pay packet which will mean that we can do some food shopping then.

I tell you what though, all this stress and lack of food in the house makes for good weightloss desperately trying to see the best of a bad situation

Thank you all for your help and support and non-judginess as a lot of this is my own stupid fault for being a dick with money

MN at its best

To serotoninbutterfly...time for some horrible medicine...you CANNOT AFFORD the internet or sky tv. You cannot really afford any television, or to have landline telephone as well as a mobile phone, either. Choose whichever is cheaper, and if you can get a landline deal with free weekend and evening calls, get it, AND NEVER, EVER use it outside those times. I have a mobile phone deal which, after £95 cashback and free handset, costs £13/month. It gives me unlimited texts and 5 hours talktime per month (I got it from buymobilephones). That is enough. It has a camera and a video camera, but no internet access, no emails. I gave up telly, radio is free and great. Keep an old telly that will play DVD's/videos (which you can get for pennies at a charity shop) for if you're desperate. Get your head round that, take a deep breath, and crack on with the 'hard times', because the sooner you get started on your rehab, the sooner it will be over. I say 'hard times', because compared to how many people in the world live, you've got it easy. Walk to the shops if you can, walk anywhere you can. Go to the nearly-past its-sell-by-date counter at your supermarket. Home-made soup costs next to nothing, thin, hard toilet paper won't kill you, don't set the heating to come on before you get up, or before you get home. Go for a run or a walk rather than go clothes shopping. I see you don't smoke, but make sure your partner doesn't either, and don't have a drink to cheer yourself up....

Sorry, but you cannot get out of debt without changing your life. Keep all your receipts for 3 months, and you will see what you could have saved.

Chin up, you'll get there xx

Some good advice here- looks like you've already negotiated yourself some better deals and a bit of leeway on the bills- all good. Can you ebay some stuff or do a car boot to raise a bit of cash in the short term, as others suggested?

For the longer term, I really think you need to move somewhere cheaper and both try to get new jobs (easier said than done, I know!). I don't know who you work for but they sound a bit unreasonable if they won't give you extra shifts but won't let you look for a part-time job elsewhere. Can they actually stop you?? I would imagine they're on dodgy legal ground, even if you have signed a contract saying you won't work for anyone else whilst you're working for them- you HAVE to be able to support yourself and your family. Can you go back to CAB and ask them about this?

betibw

Aside from the TV we are already there, I walk everywhere and we only use the car for getting to and from work when I cant get the train (shifts finishing later than the last train etc)

Already make home made soup, got my toilet roll at 99p for 6 rolls, no heating on at all, although am on a fixed rate so not really an issue. Cooking everything from scratch, making my own bread etc, always perusing the reduced shelves and shopping in discount shops etc.

Haven't bouhgt anything new since Christmas, selling all DSs outgrown clothes/toys on already.

I know I need to change my life, feeling good that its all rolling already.

fetchez

I am on a good wage considering I am part time, and my partner is temping but it looks like he will be taken on permanently in 4 weeks time (fingers crossed) so will have a pay rise and hopefully that is going to lead to extra to pay the debts off. Unfortunately I work in public sector so they are pretty much allowed to dictate what I do in my personal life as well as at work... So that's a no go until at least the summer.

Moving somewhere cheaper is an option, but that involves raising at least £1500 for deposit which isn't feasible at the moment. It is something that we are discussing, but having moved 6 times in the last 4 years we would rather stick it out here!

hi, well done, it sounds like you've made huge steps towards fixing the problem, plus there is hope on teh horizon when your partner goes perm.

Just wanted to recommend these guys as debt counsellors: www.capuk.org/home/index.php
its a christian service but open to everyone and they do not ram it down your throat. They have won loads of awards from the personal finance industry and they have seen it all before nomatter how bad things are.

If you're lucky enough to live near one of their advice centres they can send someone to your home (or you can meet elsewhere) and help you set a budget and stick to it. They have a service where they will take over the repayment of all your debts / bills for you and you pay one monthly amount to them. it does not cost you anything, it is funded through finance industry agreements that the companies who receive your payments have to give a bit back to cover the costs. over time as you become confident you can take back responsibility for bills one at a time, or stay on their system until you're completely debt free and stable living on your income.

if you don't live near their centres they have a helpline, they have a short course on money management which gives a lot of the same advice you've received on this thread and which will help you set a realistic budget including saving up for things like christmas, car mot and those other "occasional" killers.

I have volunteered for them in the past and I just think their ethos is great, they are really out to help people and because they are well known amongst the lenders they can get good payment plan offers easier than individuals can.

Good luck!