Can we have a nice, kind supportive gowd we are in so much debt type thread?

[grumpypants]

One where we can just be noice and not scathing? I am just always doing little sums in my head, about when things will be cleared, etc. We have sooo much debt. Interest only mortgage, can't afford repayment at the mo. Credit card - bought rubbish house, paid for work with 'real' money, living expenses on cards. Loan, car loan, overdraft etc. It's about £35k unsecured. We pay 1,000 each month in debt. I am so shocked by how this happened, but there are no expensive shoes peeking out the wardrobe; it's a combo of poor choice, me giving up work due to ill child, and the house falling apart just after we moved in...anyone else? I am trying so hard to cut down, and to pay stuff off - one day I really want to enjoy the money dh and I earn.

Oh no - don't think pointless; think 'that is £600 a year saved' (sky & landline switched) Come on, let's be positive!

Good way to start the day smacka! That does work for me until something goes wrong and I have to add another £100 on the cc - my car is a neverending saga at the moment. That's my danger point when saving £3 seems pointless. Maybe I should think of it like a diet tho - setbacks are inenitable...

Or maybe like a diet think 'I'll get it right 80% of the time, wrong 20% of the time, but in the end it's still progress'

I'm aware that I'm coming across as some weird life coach here

That's fine - I could probably use one!
Seriously, just a very bad month - three trips to garage for car; back using credit card; electricians bill; plumbers bill; etc - all for repairs, not shiny new bath taps or anything.
I am so determined not to sink into this for ever - my goal is to get paid off little by little and then enjoy dh earning so much even if just for a year (we are both old!) I am also working, so we shall see. Be nice if everyone on the thread is a bit less in the red by Christmas.

There was a great 'anti-fritter' tool on the moneysavingexpert website which I can't find now, but you put in your magazine/chocolate/coffee weekly spend amount in, and it told you how much you'd save in a year and how much this would offset your debt interest if you just threw that cash at the debts... I can't find it now. I'll never forget though when I was at uni realising that my magazine habit (£1 weekly, plus chocolate to go with it, plus a £3 monthly) had cost me £333 over the three years, and that was 1/3 of my overdraft when I finished! I never bought Closer again after that!

Right, iPod, PS2 listed on Ebay.

Every journey starts with small steps and all that!

Well done! Good point re frittering. I am now at the stage where I resent buying stuff, most of the time. Trouble is, we can never afford anything expensive (decent dble glazing) (new car) and so when we have a run of spending money on repairs etc I get a kind of sod it mentality and buy nailvarnish or something as a treat. Want to get past paydday as I know that I can clear one of the tiny overdrafts. (And stay clear!)

Right - 7 items now listed on Ebay, 2 mobiles on their way to Mazuma (for the whopping sum of £8!)

Progress is being made here.

Hi all, not been on here for a little while so just checking in!

It's so strange how we all react to expenditure. I do exactly the same, if something goes wrong and we need to put it on a cc, I just think "sod it, I may as well get the weeks shop on the card as well seeing as I'm having to use it" completely stupid I know, but for some reason I feel like I've saved by not using up cash! I am a moron.

Things are ticking over for us at the moment and I am trying to stay positive. Last time I checked on cccs (we're not on a plan with them but they have a great budget and debt questionnaire online) our debt free date won't be until 2015 if nothing Changes.

Oh well, keep up the good work everyone, it's a great start, listing things to sell.

2015? That doesn't sound too bad does it? Or are they re-payments already crippling you?

Keep it up guys!

We are just about to emerge from a potentially quite serious downward negative debt spiral that started about about 3 years ago with me giving up work for kids. The spiral really ramped up in earnest last June.

Lots of payments missed including one mortgage payment. Constantly going into temp overdraft. Absolutely god AWFUL! £50 for food per week for a family of four. No money for owt.

However, an understanding credit card company and a sympathetic mortgage provider helped. As did a loan from parents and brother. Also paring back everything and squeezing til the pips bled plus using excel to break down the budget for every month in minute detail. A few weeks ago we put in place our 10 year plan. :)

This month (Feb) we will have several hundred to spare and in march we will be over it totally and have hundreds more. After Easter (DS gets his free places!) we will start saving in earnest and repaying the principal amounts with a view to be debt clear in 2 1/2 years (bar mortgage).

So look, you can do it! Every little helps and I loved what an earlier poster said about getting it right 80% of the time. That's so true.

Brilliant post, thanks stellar

yes, Thank you stellar
Hi rumpled - 2015 sounds good to me...
smack - not sure where you are getting this energy from, but brilliant. I have at least resisted chucking stuff out and have collected a bootfair pile, plus located a bootfair i could do on a sunday pm indoors.

Honestly I don't know where it's come from either. my brother gave me a stern talking to last week, and it's like he's killed the 'joy' I got from our stuff. For example we have a digital camera, camcorder, 2 iPods and 2 iPhones. Really the 2 iPhones would be enough. The others are surplus to requirements. that is what's spurring me on I think!

Can I join in please? Am a slightly different case as have an IVA but still feeling not great about it all and could do with a friendly ear or so.

XH and I frittered money away for ages and took too many interest free cc out etc. Came to a head in 2009 when we couldn't service the debts at all. Were both earning a lot on paper but I stopped regular work in 2008 due to childcare failure and it went more wrong. Am too ashamed to say whst the total debt was :(

Spoke to CCCS and arranged an IVA which was doable. Things were ok, then H left in April this year. Currently he pays it all and it reduces the maintenance he pays. For the first time in my adult life I have been saving as I have been working more abs being more frugal due to lack of XH.

His parents have offered to give a lump sum to pay off the IVA and we discussed that with the firm dealing with it. Won't work unless we pay loads as due to working more and being frgual I now have too much money (work freelance and so no guarantees on it but basically tough). So no incentive to earn more as creditors will get it. We also have annual review due and will need to pay more.

I obviously know that ee spent it so need to pay it back but it's not like a debt with an end point - aa it's an IVA you make an offer which the creditors accept but then the goal posts move. Feel dispirited and feel like working less so would lose WTC but if it's only going to the creditors I can't see the point of doing it,

Possibility of asking my mum and dad to loan me the extra money which might pay it off as then would be free to earn what I can but ffs am in my 30s and feel useless enough about failed marriage without adding to it (they know about the IVA just not today's stuff).

My profession makes it impractical to go bankcrupt and not sure if I could keep doing what I do to earn money if I were. But tempted to stop some of the work I do.

We couldn't have managed without the IVA but anyone thinking about it think hard - it buggers up your credit rating and just when you think things are getting a but better it hits you in the face again

Feel free to ignore by the way as I know I got myself into this mess :(

Welcome QED.

Sounds like its tough but the worst is over?

Thank you for biscuit :)

Definitely the part where we couldn't manage to even service the debts is over and that is good. But I suppose I had felt since XH left that I was starting to make my own life if that makes any sense and coming down with a bump today to realise that it isn't going to work like that. I suppose that one way or another it will be over in about 4 years but when I was hoping it could be sooner I feel a bit :(

Not sure I am making any sense really but this does seem a nice friendly thread and I don't feel I will get judged here.

Might see what is ebayable here at some point but not just yet. Will wallow a little I think first. Think as it is tied up with relationship breaking down it all feels more painful somehow.

helloo.

have now got mahusive pile of stuff for the car boot at the end of feb. Cupboard in bedroom completely full, with more in my wardrobe. Begs the question - why do we have it?? but i suppose the light has finally been seen in this house.
Stellar - it is really encouraging reading your post.

I'm debating contacting my cc companies to see if they would freeze or reduce (hopeful arent i) my interest rates. Not hopeful but if you dont ask you dont get! Am worried though that they may get alarmed and in the long run it may damage my account even more. Does anyone know?

Thanks guys [grins]

Gawd... I remember just before this shite broke. I was literally just about to sell my first house (jul 2007). At home on maternity leave. First sign of wobbles on stock market. Sold said house on day 1 of going on Market. Bought my 3 bed semi in Dec 2007. Right at the top of the Market.
And then of course came the fall.

Remarkable. we won't see those times again! (soon!)

I have found the books by Gerald Mundis (not sure about spellin) really brilliant. It's basically debtors anonymous so lots of Higher power stuff but some very trenchant stuff about credit cards and not debting.

Might have a look at that. I've also got an old copy of Alvin Hall's Money or your life (he was like the quieter version of Martin Lewis wasn't he?). I think I'll do a bit of reading tonight.

I'm off for a haircut at the technical college today for a whopping £5.

If I'm not back later it's 'cos I've had my head chopped off

Hi all - qed - what a crappy thing to find out - that really must be dispiriting. Maybe take some time to decide what to do (ie don't give up work/ take less just yet)

will have a look at the books (library!)

jajas we are due our statement soon - will be the same thing. 17 years left, hundreds of thousands to go. interest only. but, we are all plannning so we can only think it wont be like this forever - it will be better.

Thank you everyone who has replied. Am not going to stop the extra bit of work I do just yet (this part isn't connected with my "professional" work but does bump up my hours so I can claim WTC).

Am going to think hard about asking my mum and dad to lend me the money needed to pay off the IVA - I can afford to pay them back and at least then it would be sorted. Is a big thing to ask though.

At least I will never be able to afford to own a house again so don't need to feel depressed at how much there is to pay off

Still feel dispirited but really nothing's changed since yesterday and eventually one way or another I will get out of this. In four years time should be all done.

Wonder how much my engagement ring (one careful owner) would make? Can't quite bring myself to sell it yet.

I know what you mean about selling sentimental stuff. The camcorder I've put on Ebay was bought for me by DH as a surprise at Xmas 3 years ago. He saved up all his tip money (he's a chauffeur), and got it for me. I had NO idea. It's the one and only time he's surprised me, and got it spot on.

That saddens me more than anything else, but we don't 'need' it, and we do 'need' to clear debts.

If the money would do more for you then the ring itself, then could be worth getting it valued?