are solicitors supposed to be rude and argumentative?

[gigglinggoblin]

have just had a row on the phone with xps solicitor and am rather shocked (also seething and have to get it off my chest!)

she was really rude. is a stupid row about when term time starts and ends, its the first time i have said i need to arrange weekends a particular way for ds1s benefit and he wont agree. so i am trying to put my reasons forward and she just kept talking over me, repeating what she had already said, and saying that what i was saying was unreasonabe and untrue! am sure she didnt hear most of what i said

am just shocked that a professional person can act like such a child. like i said, just needed to get that off my chest and didnt want to offload it onto the kids!

Sadly like with all professions and lall walks of life, you get some rude people everywhere. She shouldn't have been and you'd be in your rights to complain about her behaviour.

oh, not professional at all, I'd say in my limited experience of solicitors. I bet she's not like that when she wants to win clients.

Why not write her? Cool letter of complaint at her reaction to your polite and logical questions, copy in her boss as well.

I'm quite shocked as surely she is supposed to working in your best interest? Why is she arguing with you over something she is should be sorting out for you??

Do you have a solicitor? If so, isn't she meant to go through your solicitor for this kind of thing?

Yes, it's the new Blairite way of behaving which doesn't listen to you, just talks over you and keeps repeating the same thing while ignoring your new arguments and refusing to acknowledge that you've actually made a new argument.

It's quite successful, because rational people are confused by it, until they've learned the code. It's popular among all sorts of professionals (doctors, lawyers, teachers) and lesser mortals in PC professions such as local authority workers, social workers etc.

HTH.

i have been representing myself in court, thats why i was speaking to her but will be getting my own solicitor involved now so hopefully shouldnt have to speak to her again. i assume if i complain she will just say its cos i didnt like what she was saying. dont know why i expected all solicitors to be polite all the time, does seem rather silly of me now i have calmed down!

was just really surprised that someone can be so rude on the phone, its not like she is emotionally involved or anything! it could also be because she thought she could tell me what to do and i refused has made her job a lot more difficult i suppose and i do have a fair bit of sympathy for anyone who has to deal with xp and attempt to remain polite

My dh's x's solicitor was awful. She tried to intimidate and bully dh in the week leading up to their final hearing, and then during a recess at Court. I think she thought she could frighten him because he was representing himself and was niaive about the whole process. When they went back into Court he told the judge she'd been bullying him and she backtracked furiously and he got an apology - and the contact with his daughter that he wanted. How she thought it was Ok to behave like that and try to stop a little girl seeing her Daddy is beyond me.

That's interesting that you're representing yourself as well.

(sorry must go Doc Martin is on and I can't miss it as it's set in Cornwall!)

last time i was in court she came up to me and said 'right, what we are going to do is.....' in a 'i know what im doing so just do as you are told' kind of way. i let her finish and replied 'well you can do that if you like, but i will be doing....'. she muttered, went away and came back with a new proposal. obviously didnt think i would argue, but when i did she shut up and started behaving sensibly. she wasnt rude that time tho, today she was very unprofessional (in my non professional opinion)

The solicitors I work for have big problems with some of the solicitors from other firms - one had something thrown out in court cos the other side hadn't listened to what our solicitor had to say! We are a frindly firm

wow, guess i must be very lucky with my solicitor, she is excellent. although with my case she has a pretty easy time because xp tends to do all the work against himself. last time we had a hearing he stood in the doorway arguing with the judge on the way out. we had to try very hard not to laugh

i have been through court several times btw, thats how i can reperent myself and have a solicitor, i have tried both.

Sorry just realised that you had had the argument with xps solicitor not you - are the allowowed to talk to you? I didn't think she would be allowed to talk directly to you?

i think she can talk to me, its not the 1st time she has rung, just the first time she has been like this. i assumed if you represent yourself then you take on the solicitors role and have to deal with stuff like that. the issue couldnt have been left long cos it referred to this weekend so no chance of getting to court and post may be too slow. actually she rang last night aswell, and wouldnt get off the phone despite me saying it was a bad time and couldnt answer her question then and there. her secretary this morning told me there was a letter about to go out to me stating what i had agreed. i hadnt agreed to anything, i just got her off the phone asap and i think she took it that i would just agree if she put it in writing. am rapidly going off the woman

Can't you just put everything in writing to her and tell her to do the same?

They hate that.

Message withdrawn

Our whole legal system is adversarial which means that some solicitors feel they have to get into gladiator mode. Also, I know that dealing with litigants in person can be very difficult and frustrating. At least with both parties represented by solicitors, each solicitor can be relatively sure the other side know what they are doing.

I agree though that some solicitors think they can browbeat litigants in person by reason of their superior knowledge of the court process. She certainly sounds unprofessional and I would suggest that a cool and reasoned letter objecting to her behaviour is appropriate.

Dh wrote a cool and reasonable letter to his x's solicitor pointing out that screaming abuse at him at handovers and on the telephone in front of dsd was really not in dsd's best interests, and would she ask her client to stop.

He got a letter back telling him that he should leave the poor woman alone, and if he wrote any more letters in this vein they would be taking him back to court for harrassment. Of course if it had been dh being the abusive one, contact would have been stopped.

Agree with Freckle. She's probably just having a bad morning (we all have them) but she shouldn't have taken it out on you.

Put your reasons in a letter and email it to her.

I'm a solicitor and I have to say that a small number of lawyers just use aggression as their principal method of working!