A financial WWYD...

[CogitoErgoSometimes]

Trying to help a friend at the moment who wants to make a fresh start with a new job in a different part of the country. When the mortgage co said there was a problem she ran off a credit report, only to find that several £thousands have been racked up on various cards using her name but at a different address. All the accounts are defaulted, hence the problem. The wrinkle in the story is that the address belongs to a close relative who has several small children and a history of bad debt. It looks as though they have used my friend's details in order to get around their own bad credit, take out cards using their own address, spend the money and then fail to pay the bill. I am [hshock] quite frankly

Unless the problem is resolved my friend won't be able to move house but, this being a close relative with children, she hates the idea of causing trouble in the family. Being the hard-hearted Hannah I am, I wouldn't have a moment's hesitation calling in the fraud squad and have said as much.... but WWYD? How can I help my far too nice friend?

Her relative was wrong and gave no thought of the conseqences for your friend. Tell your friend she needs to go to the Police. They will give her a crime reference number, which she will then pass on to the companies. Her relative should have thought about what it means to be part of a family, you need to talk some sense into her.

Unless she can afford to repay all of the debt she will have to report it to have any chance of getting a mortgage. Even of she does repay the loans, because she will then have a bad credit rating she may not get a very good interest rate.

I don't think she has any option but to report the fraud. The relative mat have used other names and addresses too.

The relative is not going to learn that actions have consequences until the worst happens. Your friend is in the difficult position of having to decide whether to suffer themself or let the relative learn the hard way.

Also, it's the relative's fault that there will be trouble in the family, because they're the one who ran up the debt and committed fraud! Your friend is reacting to that and shouldn't blame themself.

I thought I was right :) It's completely messed up all her plans which is upsetting enough, but she's heartbroken to discover that someone so close is a rotten thief. She can't leave it as it is, that's clear. Gets worse.... she and this person are having to share accommodation for a short time. I think she's going to have to be direct about it, tell the relative that she's got evidence of fraud and then put it with the banks to investigate.

This person clearly isn't as trustworthy as your friend thought, or they wouldn't have fucked up her life!

My friend is completely disillusioned. She knew they were pretty bad with money but thought they were decent. This is completely beyond the pale. She only found out yesterday so I'm hoping, now that the initial shock has worn off, she's moved onto the angry phase and will report it.

She'll need as much support to cope with the betrayal by someone she thought she could trust as she will with the practicalities

Is there any way you could put her up for a while so she doesn't have to share with the bitch relative?

She lives too far away, unfortunately. I don't think she really thought our little fraudster was trustworthy exactly. More that if they were going to do anything dodgy she would pick on other people rather than swindle her own family. I'll give her a call later and see what she's decided to do. Hoping I'll be pushing on an open door this time.

Thanks all.

She might find that eventually the companies might start persuing her for the money, and she will have to say something then. Probably better to be able to show that she reported it as soon as she found out to avoid any implication that she might have been a participant in this fraud.

That's a good point. I'll mention that.