Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Money matters

Find financial and money-saving discussions including debt and pension chat on our Money forum. If you're looking for ways to make your money to go further, sign up to our Moneysaver emails here.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

A question for you if you and your dh have a joint bank account and pool income...

39 replies

headfairy · 22/09/2011 19:07

If one of you earns less than the other how do you go about deciding what's a fair expense? If for example one of you wants to buy a coat that you know you couldn't afford if you didn't pool your income, would that person go ahead and buy the coat anyway as your pooled resources make it affordable? Even though the other partner won't benefit from it?

Been thinking about this sort of thing for a while.....

OP posts:

Original poster

headfairy · 22/09/2011 19:52

I agree with you Rita... I think I might chat to dh this weekend about pooling resources.

When he was earning much less than me/nothing we didn't have pooled resources, but we weren't married, and for some of that time we weren't even living in the same country so I'm not sure I can compare the two.

I guess you have to both have the same attitude to finances too. I quite like buying clothes, dh buys a new teeshirt once a year, so we might end up arguing over that.

Do you have a price limit above which you discuss purchases? Ie nothing over £100?

OP posts:

RitaMorgan · 22/09/2011 20:01

DP is the same - actually I think the only new clothes he has had since I met him are things I have bought

We don't have a particular limit - I guess it would more depend on what impact it would have on our finances. If it was something that was coming out of "spare" money and we still had plenty left over then it wouldn't need to be discussed - if it was something that had an impact on what was left for food shopping then it would need to be mentioned!

DP tends to buy CDs/DVDs/books and some things he collects from ebay - I don't tend to get involved in what he's spending on that. I buy clothes and things for ds and don't generally run them by him. But recently DP bought a food processor and checked with me first, I put a deposit down on a holiday and checked with him first. If something is going on the credit card we always discuss it.

gapants · 22/09/2011 20:09

DH and I pooled our funds as soon as we got engaged and we share it all. I am a clothes junkie, and have to be mindful of what I buy in that I don't get us overdrawn, OTOH my DH cycles and gardens and spends on that. Big buys we consult on- holidays, new TVs, furniture. DH used to work in a bank so he takes care of our finances more than me, and due to that he might say to me, we have xxx till the end of the month, so don't go mad.

I earn half of what DH earns. But all the money is ours. I could not fathom it working any other way.

gapants · 22/09/2011 20:10

yy- credit card purchases are always discussed.

StealthPolarBear · 22/09/2011 20:13

Well we earn about the same (give or take a couple of thousand) so doesn't really apply. But we tell each other if we're buying an extrvagance, and always have done. From when I was earning a good salary and he was unemplyed to when he was earning quite a lot mroe than me. That dosn't really relate to earnings. So if he wants to spend £200 on speakers (or something) he'd mention it to me first. If I spend £200 on groceries, I don't.

OddBoots · 22/09/2011 20:30

We generally pool money but we do both have what we call our pocket money accounts, an amount each month and if we get money gifts from family on birthdays that is ours alone (emergencies excepted) so we can get things we want for ourselves or gifts for each other.

hormonesnomore · 22/09/2011 20:49

My ex-h and I had 3 accounts.

A joint one for household expenses, into which we put enough to pay the bills, household repairs, food, etc - proportionate to our incomes.

And one each for 'pocket money' - an equal amount every month to spend on what we each wanted. This worked very well.

TrillianAstra · 22/09/2011 21:22

The fairest thing to do (IMO) is to have a joint bank account for shared costs and essentials and anything to do with the house or children, and then split the remaining disposable income down the middle and put it into your own separate accounts.

Then you can spend your spends as you see fit. You can decide if you would rather buy coffee and cake every week or if you'd rather have a more expensive coat.

mollymole · 22/09/2011 21:25

'household income' full stop
but any major costs discussed before purchase

mizu · 23/09/2011 18:06

We earn about the same, Dh full time and me part time. All money goes into the same account and we spend it.

DH not much of a spender luckily (unless a cousin rings up from DHcountry and asks to be sent camera batteries/ cream to bring back the hair on his hair/money for the goat that has to be bought for Eid etc.

SazZaVoom · 23/09/2011 18:10

We have 3 accounts and pool income for household/child/holiday expenses in a vague proportion to our earnings. This leaves us roughly equal amounts in our personal accounts to spend as we wish.

We also run our own cars from our own accounts.

DH would spend all the money if it was pooled, so this suits me just fine.

greygirl · 23/09/2011 18:16

we have had a joint account since we moved in together. we earn about the same at the moment and cruicially i think, we have similar attitudes to what we consider sensible spending.

We have a rule that any purchase above £50 requires executive approval from the other one. I don't think we have had 1 turned down yet (and i don't bother to ask for kids clothes/food/wine etc).He even agreed i could have botox if i wanted (but wishes i wouldn't because he loves me the way i am [vomit emoticon]).

If i wanted a posh handbag (and we can afford it) he would look at me a bit oddly but he'd let me - i let him have a camper van so he hasn't got a leg to stand on (except really it is MY campervan and i named it!)

I think if I wanted 1 a year it wuold be vetoed though.

trixymalixy · 23/09/2011 18:17

We also have 3 accounts, one joint and then one each and put an amount each month into the joint account to leave us with equal amounts in our own accounts.

TeamDamon · 24/09/2011 15:42

TeamDamon would your dh agree if it was something you could afford but was utterly frivolous (to him perhaps) Just something you'd like rather than need?

Absolutely! Mind you, this is because I am generally very practical and realistic about what we can and can't afford (sigh), so when I have a mad moment, he never objects - encourages it even.

Flip

1 2