Page 2 | dont be stupid like me - make sure bills in joint names

MrsMiggins · 2005-11-22T20:25:06+00:00

H has left every single utility is in his name & so none of them will speak to me my mobile is in his name and again, they wont speak to me all very well having everything joint (I dont even have a credit card even though I earn money) look where its got me....in a right mess

hub2dee · 23/11/2005 08:21

Hi Mrs M. Sounds like a pretty horrible situation you're dealing with. I read your other main thread.

Just to say I can see things look rather crap at the moment, and clearly the access / separation / mortgage / bills / solicitor is no fun to deal with, and Christmas doesn't look so cheery, but you sound like a strong, capable person and I am sure the New Year will see you in a much better position (admin-wise with the bills etc.) and you will have a clean slate IYSWIM. I know there'll still be ongoing stuff with the solicitor, nothing is ever 'quick' around Christmas time, but 2006 will be a magical year without your rather unpleasant-sounding ex.

Loobie · 23/11/2005 09:13

Have you told the utilities people what is happening? i would cancel the direct debits too,in fact i think that when you change the status of bank accounts everything needs reset up again anyway,i may be wrong here though.
I was in the same situation as sackache where everything was in my name as he had a bad credit rating,i eventually 2 years after the split got it all cleared and hence i now dont have a great credit rating but hey ho im free of him so anything is a bedsides the point!!
Get the utility providers to come in a put in prepay meters,a bit of a more expensive way to pay for your fuel usage but as least there are no surprise big bills!!you just pay as you ise it.

Freckle · 23/11/2005 09:13

If money isn't being paid into her account, she can't pay anyway, can she?

If xh continues to pay money into the account, then obviously bills should be paid. If he stops, then MrsM will have no option but to stop the dds and redirect the bills to him. In the meantime, she should obtain application forms for council tax benefit in case she may be eligible for this.

If MrsM is certain about wanting a divorce, then she should proceed as soon as possible so that, should it be necessary, her solicitor can issue an application for maintenance pending suit.

expatinscotland · 23/11/2005 09:20

He needs a solicitor to show him what's 'fair'. Sorry, but I'd press for the max from him. Divorce on grounds of adultery. Honestly, these are HIS kids, and they deserve as much as he's got finanicially if he's decided his trousersnake is more important than they are.

Lasvegas · 23/11/2005 10:01

Unfortunately we have a divorce system based on no fault. X wife and kids get no more maintanance if adultery is reason for split of if they divorce on grounds of 2 years separation. Also if Mr M refuses to admit to adultry Mrs M will have to 'prove it' and it racks up her solicitors fees. It may be cheaper and quicker to divorce him on grounds of unreasonable behaviour, if he won't admit to adultery. After 3 years dealing with my divorce I know that Family Law is nothing about natural justice. Sorry to put a dampener but don't expect to get 'revenge' through our legal system. Maintenance if Mr M wants to use CSA will be 20% of his net take home pay. His solicitor will advise him to use CSA and thus give the bare minimum. His solicitor won't care whether Mrs M can afford to pay her nursery etc.

Mrs M must try and remain in house until youngest child leaves school, then equity is split. But she should talk to solicitor about this as it should be the equity at today not in 15 years (ie after Mrs M has paid mortage alone) and paid for home improvements.

uwila · 23/11/2005 10:15

But surely it would be great fun to send a solicitor snooping around their work to discover the facts. Does anyone at the office know he is shagging his tem leader and that this is the cause of his divorce. Oh, I'm not sure if this is a wise move, but it's a bit of revenge some couldn't resist. Can't speak from experience, but from what I've read on these threads I would certainly like to see the fool suffer in every possible way.

How are you today, Mrs. M?

uwila · 23/11/2005 10:17

But surely it would be great fun to send a solicitor snooping around their work to discover the facts. Does anyone at the office know he is shagging his tem leader and that this is the cause of his divorce. Oh, I'm not sure if this is a wise move, but it's a bit of revenge some couldn't resist. Can't speak from experience, but from what I've read on these threads I would certainly like to see the fool suffer in every possible way.

How are you today, Mrs. M?

uwila · 23/11/2005 10:18

But surely it would be great fun to send a solicitor snooping around their work to discover the facts. Does anyone at the office know he is shagging his tem leader and that this is the cause of his divorce. Oh, I'm not sure if this is a wise move, but it's a bit of revenge some couldn't resist. Can't speak from experience, but from what I've read on these threads I would certainly like to see the fool suffer in every possible way.

How are you today, Mrs. M?

Freckle · 23/11/2005 10:50

Don't forget that MrsM's claims to maintenance do not involve merely her children. As his wife, she has a right to claim maintenance for herself as well and the CSA, thank goodness, have absolutely nothing to do with that.

MeAndMyBoy · 23/11/2005 10:58

A web site that a colleague told me about yesterday that might prove useful is

benefits web site

it's a list of all benefits available and you can check what you're eligable for as well as a load of other information - might help.

Chin up and fingers crossed that it will get resolved in a satisfactory way. Don't worry about feeling Christmasy, you have your LO's to cuddle and their smiling faces and for me that's the best thing any day.

H x

expatinscotland · 23/11/2005 10:58

Just a reminder: housing benefit is for renters.

Original poster

MrsMiggins · 23/11/2005 16:35

told council tax people the monday after he left so thats already 25% reduction

will ask solicitor tom about bills etc

I just dont know what to do as Im sure you're right that his solicitor will go for bare minimum. I worked out yesterday that the child tax credit will pay for half my childcare.

oh well just got us into more debt by buying ALL my chirstmas pressies today - it was fun

OP posts:

uwila · 23/11/2005 16:40

Did you do it on his credit card? And what did you buy for yourself? A nice holiday at a singles resort in the sun?

Original poster

MrsMiggins · 23/11/2005 17:20

yes did buy all pressies on his card - I dont have one BUT I was very restrained & bought nothing for myself so he cant moan
bought pressies for all his famnily too - why should anyone lose out cos hes an a#se

good girl

OP posts:

MummyDreamingOfAWhiteChristmas · 05/12/2005 09:53

Have been following your thread and am just wondering how you are MrsMiggins....

MistletoeMiggins · 05/12/2005 21:00

now have separate bank accs
I have the one with all DD for bills
I pay the mortgage etc
he wont even pay his Life ins on the mortgage

we paid off the credit card so that we both started on a clean slate

must be a record - complete separate finances within 20 days of leaving

still I feel more in control now

p.s
did buy a book off Amazon last week called "The Which? Guide to Divorce" and paid for it on one of his old credit cards
havent told him yet....and wondering whether to leave it a couple of months as he has no address and so all mail coming here

SNOWaMANda · 06/12/2005 08:36

Mrs M, I'm wondering if the separate finances is a good thing. Just that I've recently met someone (first date on Saturday) who is in the process of getting divorced - they've been apart 11 months and they don't have fully separate finances yet and won't until the divorce is finalised.

He pays everything for the house - mortgage, bills etc as well as giving her a fixed amount for the children and continuing to pay school fees for his oldest ds. His name is still on the mortgage etc. I wonder if your soon to be ex-h is somehow getting away with some of his financial responsibilities by thrusting the separte finances upon you so early on. I'm sure you've had legal advice but it does seem wrong but it may be that your stbex-h is just doing what is the basic legal requirement rather than doing the right thing by you and his children?

MistletoeMiggins · 06/12/2005 18:36

ur may be right but what else can I do?
he was going to open a new account and stop paying his wages in if we didnt separate the 2 accounts.
no doubt he would then have stopped paying into the "bills" account or would have just paid in £X amount as he is now

i know what you mean but dont really see what else to do unless I start divorce proceedings

I think this is going to end up nasty as he seems to have relinquished all responsibility in his mind for the 3 of us - he gives us £X and I have to get on with it

when we split the accounts I said about taking final readings etc and he just said, I think you'll find we're in credit so you would owe me money

SNOWaMANda · 06/12/2005 19:15

MrsM, that is shocking. What an ass. He may be able to emotionally just walk away like that but surely his legal obligation to you has to be more than that? But I don't know. I'm just saying what this guy I know is doing and I think he's doing the decent thing by his kids etc.

If you're suffering financially then perhaps starting divorce proceedings is the way forward? Do you own your house? Presumably there is some room for negotiation with that as he has a responsibility to your children until they are 18.

I'm angry for you, Mrs M. I think how you've coped is admirable, I really do. Have you applied for tax credits yet? The website here is good for calculating what you might be entitled to.