Thanks everyone.
sebsmummy - We do have family, DP's parents live close but work full time. Mine live far away, and also work full time. Both our siblings live very far away.
We only have one car, DP walks to work currently as we cut out his bus pass. No one we could car share with, and DS's school is too far to walk (over an hour walk).
Kipling Sadly, our existing DS is nearly 10, so we don't have any baby stuff left over. We sold the big stuff and gave the little things to charity, a long time ago now. I wish we hadn't..
The night working caused me issues because I wasn't sleeping. I did it from when DS was a few months old until he was 4. I would get home, sleep for an hour or two then be up all day. I would get an hour or two nap in the afternoon when he was younger. Then work all night and repeat.. it played with my mind and I was having hallucinations, panic attacks and never felt 'awake', ever. It was really horrible, and I don't think I could risk it again.
We looked into me doing weekend work, but it wouldn't be enough hours over 2 days to make up the shortfall from full time.
It's just a crappy, crappy situation. I guess some people do just fall through the cracks.
Incidentally, the CAB told us that if I were a single parent, I would get everything. Social housing, rent and council tax benefit, CTC, Unemployment benefit if I wasn't working and childcare allowance if I was working. But we are a couple, and get nothing. It's a crazy system.