Advice re splitting bills

[Sarsaparilllla]

Please can you let me know what you think I should do?

My fiance lives with me, we're due to get married next year. He moved into my house about a year ago, I bought the house about 5 years ago.

When he moved in we agreed he gave me £350 a month towards bills, plus he pays for Sky, this doesn't actually cover half of what the house running costs are but I was of the impression that it was my mortgage, we weren't married and I didn't think he should pay half.

Since then, obviously all the bills have gone up, so now I'm paying a lot more, I used to pay about £500 to his £350, but now it works out I'm paying nearer £600 and he's still giving me the same.

As we're getting married is this a good time to reassess our finances for bills anyway? Once we're married the fact it's 'my' house becomes irreleavant doesn't it? Would you just split everything 50/50 from now on?

You have to what suits you, some people choose to have a joint account which works well if you both have the samish salary and attitude to spending. We have separate accounts now cos this did not work plus a bills account where we both contribute equal amounts to cover dd's. This works for us and we each have our own bank accounts then to spend as we wish. It is perfectly reasonable for you to ask for half the costs of running the home provising he can afford this

Before we had DS and I went back to work p/t, DH I and I used to put the same percentage of what we earnt into a joint account to cover bills, mortgage etc. It took a bit of fiddling to get the percentage right and we had to change it from time to time when things go up, we moved house and so on. This covers all joint expenses, including food, and we put in a bit for going out and saving too. It was usually about 40%, and it seemed fair when he earnt a bit less than me but worked just as hard! The rest we kept in our personal a/c so that I would not get when DH spent £2000 on a bike.

Now that we have DS, more outgoings and lower income, we still have the joint account, but now put in everything we earn except what we have agreed to keep back - basically getting to work expenses and pocket money. I get the Child Benefit, but also pay for DS's clothes, entertainment etc.

When you get married, if you want DH/DP to have a claim on the house, you need to get the deeds changed to reflect this. The terminology is either "Joint tenants" or "tenants in common", i forget which is which, one is for co-habitees, one is for married couples.

Are DH and I unusual in that we have a joint account - always have done - and our attitude is that everything each of us earns is 'our' money even though he earns nearly three times what I do? But then I suppose neither of us ever spends a significant amount without consulting the other so maybe this is where we differ from others.

CowardlyLion - we are the same as you.

When I earnt more than DH, it was still our families money, now I am a SAHM it is still our families money.

I'm with you CowardlyLion. DH and I have a joint account and everything comes and goes from it. This is partly because we thought this was the 'done thing' so to speak and partly because we really don't have a lot of money left over after bills/family costs so there would be no point having separate accounts. I can understand why a lot of people want to keep their finances separate nowadays but I also think it's quite sad in a way, it's still like 'him & her' rather than 'them' iyswim and how do they decide who pays for what when it comes to grocery shopping/treats for the kids/days out etc

Before we had children we put a set amount into a joint account to cover mortgage, bills etc

Once we had children we changed it to just one joint account into which all income was paid. As other posters have said, this is family money regardless of who is/isn't earning and how much.

I agree with what bikerunski said about changing the deeds.

Thanks folks :)

I think I'm going to suggest us setting up a joint account that we both transfer a set amount into each month and make all the bills come out of that, I think it makes sense for us to keep our separate accounts for personal stuff in our case although that may change when we have kids in the future

BikeRunSki, I like the % idea, I'll talk it through with him and see what we agree on

I would happily have "our money" if DH didn't spend every penny he had access to on bikes. If he had access to more pennies, then we would have less food and no shoes.

The people above are better than me but I will try. I think you should make wills Relatives of mine who had cohabited for 30 years came into grief when one went into care and another relative argued that as they were not married he had the right to eveything. In fact I would make a living will. In the event of separation it pays to remember that no one wants to live on the street. Sorry to be so gloomy but co-habitees get a bad deal compared with the married .Who said this? Not always. An ex-colleague who split from his wife after 20 years got the home because the judgesaid wife had just stayed at home and not worked. The mind boggles but all the best to you.Hope you remain happy asmost people do.

We split the bills in such a way that we have the same amount left over after they've all been paid (and we try and put some into savings too). Sort of the same principle as sharing an account, but if we were both accessing the same account we'd end up overdrawn! I earn more now, so I pay a lot more of the bills, but when I was studying it was the other way around.