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Original poster

worried about the will of the ex-h in relation to my dc (x4)

29 replies

strangerintheday · 01/04/2011 15:54

Long story, but will be brief. My ex-h and I were married for over 15 years, had 4 dc and divorced more than 10 years ago. He was paying CM all throughout the years and continues to support dc throughout uni. We both remarried. I had the terrible second marriage and was left skint by my second husband (house in negative equity, business gone down) I have never worked for another company after my first marriage and have great trouble finding job now. I am now left alone fighting off the banks who threaten to repossess. I have no savings and cannot help the children if they need my help going forward (youngest is 16, others above 18).

My ex-h is in bad health but still very wealthy. I understand I cannot go to him for maintenance, but I am afraid that he will leave all the wealth to his new wife (she does not work and she is expecting) and nothing to our joint children. Recently I have found out that my ex-h does not have a will. Will it be possible for his grown up children to inherit in this case and what is the common % if it is? If he does make a will and our children are excluded what are the chances that our joint children can challenge it. Many thanks.

OP posts:
Original poster
strangerintheday · 01/04/2011 15:56

Just to make it clear, I worked before the first marriage, but was SAHM during it. My second ex-h and I had a business, which went sour and was sold (no assets from that sale, sold for nominal amount).

OP posts:
schnauzersrock · 01/04/2011 15:58

without a will it all goes to the wife
I don't know what would happen if your children contest
If he has a will then he is supposed to dictate a percent to all minors but its at his discretion for adult children

cleanandclothed · 01/04/2011 16:11

Is your husband English or Welsh? Because different rules apply in Scotland and different again in other jurisdictions.

If he is English or Welsh, and there is no will, the wife gets £250k, plus a life interest in half the rest, and the children get the balance plus the remainder of the half after the wife dies.

If there is a will then he can leave it how he likes, but if your children are his dependents ( = have been maintained by him) they can challenge the will.

Original poster
strangerintheday · 01/04/2011 16:13

Thank you very much schnauzersrock, but is it really the case that without a will it all goes to the wife? What about maintenance for our 16 yo? What about the fact that the other children are dependent on his help, at least whilst they are at university? I thought those payments will be ringfenced from the estate in any case. Sad

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Original poster
strangerintheday · 01/04/2011 16:15

Actually we are both european EU, but lived here since 1998 (he was headhunted from another country).

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myredcardigan · 01/04/2011 16:17

Can you not speak to him about it? Or can the children? They are adults after all. Can they not ask their dad whether or not he has made provision to see them through university if anything should happen to them? Perhaps he doesn't know that he needs to leave a will to continue that support.

You need to find out whether, as they are over 18, they would still be classed as a dependant.

Original poster
strangerintheday · 01/04/2011 16:20

Cleanandclothed, the problem is that although we are on good terms, I do not want to raise the subject if will with ex-h, if he can possibly make the will that would leave my dc worse off iykwim. Sounds like 'no will' is actually better as I am pretty sure he will leave everything to his new wife. At the same time does it matter that she is also 100% dependent on him and they have a baby on the way? I am sorry if i sound like a money grabber, I just want to protect my kids future since they can expect nothing from me. Sad

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Original poster
strangerintheday · 01/04/2011 16:21

"do not want to raise the subject OF the will with ex-h"

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myredcardigan · 01/04/2011 16:32

If he is currently supporting them through university it is reasonable to ask/expect him to continue until they finish. After that, I don't personally think they should expect anything.

Once his children with you are adults he should be free to leave his money to whomever he choses and with a new wife and baby it would be perfectly reasonable for him to leave it all to her.

But then, I don't think adult children should ever expect or count on inheritance from their parents. If any comes, then great but once children become adults, parents should be encouraged and free to spend their own money however they please.

Original poster
strangerintheday · 01/04/2011 16:33

Cleanandclothed, can you please clarify regarding 250K, does it include the house or is it all cash-related? Their house is much more than 250K (close to 1M, 6-bed property in the commuter belt). If does not need such a big house, would she have to sell if there is not will?

I am sorry about this question, it sounds awful.

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Original poster
strangerintheday · 01/04/2011 16:34

Thank you myredcardigan!

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wannaBe · 01/04/2011 16:43

no the house wouldn't have to be sold as, since she is his wife the house is already partly hers anyway and would go to her on his death.

How do you know that he doesn't have a will?

wannaBe · 01/04/2011 16:45

just to add that if the house is mortgaged there would be life assurance on it which would pay it off on his death.

But as it is his wife and children's family home it would automatically go to her.

But even in the event he say, left his half of it to someone else, his wife could go to court to gain the right to live in the house until her dependent children were eighteen.

bemybebe · 01/04/2011 16:45

OP, I understand that you are worried about your kids, but surely it is much better to be upfront about your concerns, rather than hope for uncertainty and potentially long legal dispute. He sounds like a very caring dad.

Your question regarding the house does look awful.

myredcardigan · 01/04/2011 16:46

But they are adults! Surely you would not want her (as a recent widow) to have to sell her family home just so 4 adults who have already benefitted from their father financially throughout their life can get hold of some of his estate?

It is perfectly reasonable for you to expect him, if he can afford to do so, to continue to support them though university. But you sound like you'd rather everything had to be sold and uprooted just your adult children could get more money. I think that's unreasonable. When children become adults it is up to them to make their own financial way in the world. If anything comes their way upon the death of a parent it should be seen as a gesture or a lovely gift not a right.

Original poster
strangerintheday · 01/04/2011 16:48

Thank you everyone. I think you are right about being upfront. I am not making rational decisions as my head is spinning with a worry.

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Original poster
strangerintheday · 01/04/2011 16:50

Just for the record, there is no mortgage and no debts (unlike me), but that is life.

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laInfanta · 01/04/2011 16:55

Without a will his wife will get it all.

It is possible for him to write his will so that his wife has a life interest in the property they both live in, so she has the right to live in it until she dies, and then for everything to be split equally between all his children, including the house when she dies. I think this is fairest, and I think it's what most people do.

I don't understand why people are saying his wife has more (moral) right to everything in his will than his kids. Surely children are at least as important, if not more?

myredcardigan · 01/04/2011 17:05

Nobody other than dependents have a moral right to the money.

In this case that is his wife and the new baby. And the other children until they leave university.

laInfanta · 01/04/2011 17:08

In your opinion.

myredcardigan · 01/04/2011 17:11

Morals are always opinion though! Legally, it will all go to his wife unless he makes a will as the OP's children are over 18.

bemybebe · 01/04/2011 17:32

I wonder if in this case the new wife can potentially claim that she was dependent on her husband, so that there is a separate provision for her as in cases of child maintenance. Or is it totally irrelevant? OP writes she does not work and is currently pregnant.

CarrotsAreNotTheOnlyVegetables · 01/04/2011 23:47

Several people here have stated that if there is no will that everything goes automatically to the wife.

This is simply wrong and has caused a lot of hardship to surviving spouses who relied on this rather than making a will.

In fact if there is no will the intestacy rule come into operation. These can be quite complicated. Basically the spouse is entitled to a set percentage of the estate, it is not a fixed sum. Can't remember the percentage, but it may be as high as 50%. The residue is to be split equally between all children whether minors or adult.

If there are no children it gets really complicated, as all other relatives of the deceased become entitled to a share.

The spouse is not automatically entitled to inherit the house or a share of the house unless she is on the deeds. If she owns the house as a joint tenant the house goes to her automatically as it does not form part of the estate. If she owns a share as a tenant in common the deceased partner's share goes into the estate to be distributed according to the will or the intestacy rules.

So in summary, if you feel your ex is likely to not leave anything to your Dcs if they make a will you are better keeping quiet and leaving it to the intestacy rules.

But are you so sure he would leave them out? It sounds as if he has been very fair and looked after them so far. Do you think he would change his attitude now?

CarrotsAreNotTheOnlyVegetables · 01/04/2011 23:50

bemy - all dependants can challenge a will if it does not make adequate provision for them. This would include spouses relying on their income and minor children.