Time, then, to sit down and look at why those outgoings are so immense!
As Chil1234 says, you need to be really brutal about what you're spending.
Get your last 2-3 months' worth of bank/credit card statements and look at what you've been spending your money on.
If you take out cash and use that, try and itemise what you spent that cash on each week.
You will probably find that there are lots of things that you can cut down/out without much difficulty. For example - buying magazines, take-away coffees, lunch from M&S, etc - will all be costing you a fortune and you could easily cut these out.
Are you buying your food at Waitrose/M&S? Are you buying daily rather than weekly? This will be adding a lot of money to your outgoings. If you start meal planning and going to cheaper supermarkets, and start buying own brand goods rather than branded ones (and the quality is sometimes better if you do this - honest!), you will also save shedloads.
The special birthdays that are coming up - how much are you expecting to spend? Just because it's a special birthday doesn't always mean lots of money.
I would definitely agree that you should consider talking to someone who deals with debt - if you have a large mortgage, a loan and have had to take out a credit card as a buffer (which you're then using) it could be a good idea to look at how you can sort this out with finance.
But the priority will be to sort out your spending.
BTW - I know how changes in circumstances can affect you, as it's happened to me over the last year as well, so you do have my sympathy!