What would life "feel like" without my income?

[LoveInAColdClimate]

Please don't shout at me over this thread...

DH and I are about to start TTC. We have been discussing what we will do about me returning to work after maternity leave (which I know is counting a few chickens, but we thought best to at least start discussing). If I didn't go back to work, we would obviously lose my income of around £40k and be left with DH's of around £55k (plus possible bonus of somewhere between £2k and £10k, but wouldn't want to rely on that as it's not at all certain and depends on loads of factors, some of which are completely out of his control).

I know £55k is still roughly double the average UK income, but it's still clearly a lot less than we earn now. We live in a nice-ish bit of the West Midlands (we would stay in the same house). We would obviously have the extra costs of a baby, but wouldn't be going out much (I understand!). We would also be happy without holidays abroad for a while (we are lucky that both our parents live in beautiful parts of the UK so they may be getting a lot of visits...). I've done various budgeting exercises to see how far £55k would go, and I'm pretty certain we could live on it quite easily, but I just wondered how other people find living on a similar income with a baby/small child. Do you angst in the supermarket about whether you can afford things (not Veuve Cliquot, obviously, but the Nice Ham end of things)? Do you stress about bills coming in and how you'll pay them? Or is it fine, and any worries will be more than made up for by being at home with my baby?

If I went back part-time (3 days a week), my take-home income (after nursery fees, travel costs, work clothes, work-associated costs etc) would be about £600 pcm. So not a huge amount, but definitely very helpful. But I'm not sure how I will feel about putting my baby in childcare for three days a week if we can manage financially without. Of course, I do appreciate that I may be champing at the bit to get back to work, but do find that hard to imagine!

Any views on living on £55k outside London very gratefully received.

The saving-the-cushion idea is excellent.

In my experience of being richer and poorer and richer and poorer through the years, you're spending expands or contracts to suit the available budget. You can get used to anything.

When we were TTC we did what a lot of people have suggested - put away my wage and live on DH's wage alone. In the end, it took us 2 years to conceive DD, and in that time we saved enough to buy a second property and do it up, leaving us with a buy-to-let which we see as a long-term investment.

BTW - I was worried about finances post-DC and how we would cope. But, in the end, we felt that we'd rather be 'poor' than not have children

As others have said, it's not just about your earnings now, OP, it's also about keeping your hand in with your career should you want to return when the dc are older. Plus other benefits like a pension and anything else you may have as a benefit of employment.

Also, in the present climate, what happens if your dh loses his job?

I've always taken the view that childcare and associated costs of us both working come out of our joint income.

Three days a week might be ideal for you - but hard to tell until the baby is born.

And while small children make a relatively small dent in your finances, teenagers make a massive hole - especially at the moment with food so expensive. We don't have nice ham any more, shop in Aldi, and we both work with a joint income well above the national average!