Anyone else who works and has young children feeling disgruntled?

[anonMum2]

We pay over £25k in tax and NI, over £10k for childcare a year, and quite a bit for student loan as we just missed the free tuition fee by one year. We then leapt into the housing market late as we were moving round with our jobs for years and settled down late, thereby purchased a house with a high mortgage. Apart from childcare vouchers tax savings and Child Benefit, we get nothing. I work full time, cramming it into as few days as possible just so I can spend more days with my toddler every week.

I see many of my friends chosing not to work because they get so much money by not working. A few have told me they get between £1 to £2k per month to help with their babies in the first year, which goes down obviously in subsequent years but then they get free childcare/nursery. They get free milk and everything.

Arrrggh...! why am I slaving away trying to contribute to this country and it's economy, and yet my net money to spend is so much less than theirs and we live in a tiny little house? We are always in the red every month after paying taxes, mortage, childcare and bills and food. If I choose not to work, we'll get benefits, tax credits etc. but it feels so wrong, when I'm perfectly capable of working. Perhaps all I'm hoping for is for benefits/tax credit/government aid to be more equal between parents so I can still work part-time, but get more financial help with childcare so it's worth me working part time, and those parents who choose not to work could instead get back into work part-time as well and then we'd all have the same amount of hours at work and the same to spend with children. A fairer system, don't you think? Or am I being really naive?

Ok, rant over!

yep - I've paid out a fortune for LED energy efficient ones - still keep blowing.

And I can't buy "standard" bulbs - as they're all odd shapes and sizes - lovely landlord, great sense of decoration - but god so impractical to keep up to scratch with the lightbuls . 'tis slightly bonkers - 3 bedroom terraced house, nearly 30 light bulbs in the ceiling lights !

Well perhaps I'm not "grateful" - as I know that some of MY tax and NI that I paid is keeping me and my boys afloat until I'm working again. And that in the future I'll (hopefully!) pay back in much more than I've taken out.

PLus the fact that my "luxuries" in my "lifestyle" come from carefully saving up the £20 that I'm allowed to keep from the work I do. No it's not enough to be taxed on, but I'm not sat on my arse watching JK all day (I watch Cbeebies instead )

extend your mortgage terms to reduce your monthly payments whilst you are struggling with childcare costs, doesn't have to be forever.

missedith01-it's our combined tax and NI. Not just mine. I wish!

CarGirl, we have thought about that. We may have to as we literally cannot afford to pay 2 FT childcare. Will definitely look into that.

Captain Nancy, can't rent, I have thought about that too and asked DH if we could last year. But with 1 box sized room(only fits a single bed and nothing else) and another very slightly bigger, no chance as these will be our children's bedroom. Our bedroom just fits our double bed with a tiny built-in wardbrobe and we have to squeeze round our room to walk around it. My parents keep moaning that our house is far too small and refuse to come and stay.

Perhaps give our dog away and save on his very expensive pet insurance and vet bills?

I have re-read your last post 3 times. And I have to confess I'm a little confused as to why your current bedroom sizes mean you can't rent.

We have extended our mortgage to the maximum term but can overpay without penalty (and take out the overpayments with written notice), at one time we could only overpay by £500 per month - that wasn't an issue!

I've come around to the way of thinking that having a mortgage on your house is the same as renting without the uncertainty of being asked to move on. We will probably finish paying the mortgage have a few years and then have to sell it to pay for our care in the twighlight years.

I don't see the point of being crippled by monthly repayments for the sake of being mortgage free more quickly.

some people work extremely hard and earn a lot less than you OP and don't even have a shed either! i have little sympathy sorry.

Would a live in be cheaper than FT childcare for 2?

Yes your children would have to share a room but that's not the end of the world. I kept my dc in cots (with the side off) for a very long time because they took up less room than full size beds etc.

op, you actually pay over £25k in tax and ni

surely you must earn a bomb?

are you really saying you struggle?

both dh and I together don't earn £25k, I can't comprehend how you can say things are a struggle??

what on earth do you do with all that wages you must earn?

ssd - probably a huge mortgage!

I couldn't afford to own the house we live in now if we'd bought 6 years ago rather than 8.5 years ago.

Titchy 3 bed terrace in a rough area £250k

30 year mortgage for £225k over £1k per month roughly

yes, but how much would you have to earn to pay £2.5k a month on TAX????

or less than that, just over £2k it would be?

It's how much you have after tax & NI and then student loans etc etc that is what matters IYSWIM.

yes - but you'll notice (quite cleverly ) the OP doesn't say how much is left after student loans, tax and NI )

MAMO- the bare minimum it could be (allowing 2 salaries, tax and NI) would be 37500 as I said above (ie income for 2 of c.£63000 and allocating 40% for tax&NI combined)
Take 10k off for nursery, and you have £2300 a month.
Allowing 1k for mortgage, it will be tight with 2 children nursery fees.

To pay 25k tax and NI between you and your DH you must both be on 40k plus a year. Whilst I agree childcare is really expensive, it is a pretty good wage, clearing 5k+ a month after deductions..

I could have done my sums wrong but it is late

CarGirl and CaptainNancy, figures sound about right. I'm impressed! Except the mortgage is actually closer to £1.4k per month for a small house that's since gone down in value. Can't believe I'm spelling out my financial woes in detail on MN We had to spend £7k for bathroom/kitchen water damage repairs few months ago which crippled us. Thankfully insurance paid the other charges after we had an ongoing battle with them (not sure how true but according to the contactor our insurer was charged another £10k+ on top of what we paid. OMG!) That probably explains why our home insurance has risen to £580 this time round.

Mamo, the baby would need to sleep in our wardrobe really if we rented. No space next to our bed except for moses basket which we have to sort of hop over. Plus we would have to rent the room that fits a single bed plus tiny cupboards (who would rent that?). Meaning I have to squeeze 2 children in a box room(I know when people say box rooms it's different.. ours is ever so slightly smaller than average and doesn't fit anything apart from a bed). Thing is, when we bought the house a few years ago, we were so caught up with the housing boom and wanting to get on the property ladder and stop renting, that we probably didn't think all these through.

I am really not complaining about how much we earn or wanting any sympathy. I was initially just miffed that if only we got to keep just a bit more of our tax and NI then we would perhaps not worry so much each night how we're going to cope financially. Or if we just get some help on childcare then I'd feel more satisfied working. On top of that I don't get to spend the time with DC like my friends do, without having to then work evenings and weekends to make up my time. But these posts are definitely eye openers and as said, I am grateful to be in the position I'm in. Just wanted to clarify that we're not actually in this oh-so-wonderful situation that people may think we're in. But hey, I realise we've got it much easier and better than a lot of people out there, so not going to feel that disgruntled anymore.

I might as well confess that the reason I have to have children now, apart from the fact DH desperately wants them, is that I've had 2 operations in the last few years and the last time I was warned to have children now or regret later when they have to get rid of my O..s altogether. 2 ops, 2 miscarriages and a traumatic c-section later, I know I'm really lucky to have my DC and hopefully another soon. So there! Hope this answers most queries.

You get nothing? (apart from cash as CB, childcare subsidy etc - and state contributions ot an earnings related pension through your NI)
And a capital asset - your home - which will set you up much better as you get older than renting
And work experience which will keep you progressing towards promotion and the possibility of better paid jobs
And the amount you cite for benefits is nonsense

The question is why wouldn't you work and support your family yourself, if you are able?

whilst i know that it is entirely possible to get over 1k a month on benefits (i am a carer as my son is disabled, and i have 4 kids. i get £1500 a month in benefits) i know that most families on benfits dont get anywhere near that amount. it is still a struggle even with the amount i am on. i do get a lot of things for free like prescriptions and school dinners, but with 4 growing kids its still very difficult to make ends meet. i pay out over £600 a month in bills (mobile, internet, gas and electric, tv license, water etc) £300 a month for food, probably at the moment spending £100 on clothes as having to get them all stuff for winter. i cant afford a car, i need to do work in my house which i cant afford. being on benefits is not the easy life that many people seem to think.

i know, its very hard with kids, full time job plus mortgage. it looks and feels like you're going to struggle forever but there's light at the end of the tunnel. You can also earn extra money doing other stuff. For me i earn extra money by selling avon to my friends and also giving away free apps online.