I have done a terrible thing, I know that, no-one hates it more than me, but I have to try and deal with the practicalities of the situation.
I appear to be pregnant with OM's baby. We've both been married to decent people for a long long time. Emotional affair began c. 3 years ago (kidded ourselves we were just friends for a long time). We've actually only been to bed a handful of times and it was always on the basis that we both knew there was no way we would split our families. I am incredibly fond of DH, but he hasn't wanted me in a long time. OM says his situation is similar (but yes, I know he would say that). OM makes me feel something I have never experienced before and to be fair has been lovely over the last few days, never blamed me, or asked me to abort and has been there for me whenever I needed. (OK so he should, but I know lots who wouldn't)
DH will know this is not his baby and in any case (even though it may seem like I have no conscience) I couldn't try and pass the baby off as his.
OM has asked me to start a new life with him. Whether he will follow this through when push comes to shove remains to be seen, but either way, when DH is told, my life is going to change a lot.
What do I need to know/do to make it as amicable and painless as possible? (I know it's not going to be either of those, but I have to try and do something right)
It also involves my 2 DC (jnr school ages) and his 2 DC, 1 jnr school and 1 adult. We are both comfortably old enough to be grandparents, so even without the (deserved) complications, having a new baby and bringing it up (would be past retirement age by the time it finished school) is not going to be easy.
My financial situation is sound, have a good job and could (just about) support myself. DH also has a good job. OM has an OK job and his DW has recently gone back to full-time work. They have previously struggled financially, but are I think doing OK now. We both own houses with small mortgages (by today's standards).