I'm so rubbish with money! I don't know where it all goes or why there isn't enough!

[rubbishatmoney]

Just checked bank balance - not enough for rent due on Friday - payday is at the end of the month overdraft will cover it if we don't eat until i get paid.

I write a budget, I menu plan, I shop at Lidl and Asda, dh and I earn reasonable money - yet it disappears.

We are in debt which is the problem, I have just started mat leave, which means we have less. Baby due any day, should be a happy time.

We lived beyond our means before we started our family - we have paid back some of our credit but still owe about £7K.

We stupidly commited to a holiday with friends this Sept - thinking last chance to go on an off-peak holiday while it is cheap - going to have to purge savings for that and still will be in overdraft - have paid for villa and ferry but no idea how going to pay for anything else for holiday when my money is steadily decreasing and we have nothing in saving.

I don't know what to do. Have just moved some credit debt to interest free - quick fix but no solution. Can't see how to not rack up more debt while I'm on leave - then when I go back we will have 2 lots of childcare, so not much more income, a bit more because I think dd will get nursery place funded before I go back in Feb.

Are not getting CTC because they overpaid us a while back, now don't think we qualify as earnings are too high - although they do take account of mat leave don't they? All so confusing.

Don't really know what I'm asking for here? Advice? Sympathy? A surefire way to win the lottery?

I commiserate - dh was redundant for 14 months when I had 3 dc's under 4 years. We got very good at not spending.

At least you are aware of your situation - that is a huge bonus! The only advice I can give is the same everyone will tell you.

Is the holiday really necessary? What will you lose if you cancel compared to the debt you will have if you go? - and once the money is spent on a holiday, it is totally gone - you can't sell it on ebay!

Start with a spending diary - write it down absolutely every time you spend any money. This way you can see what you are spending - and things like buying coffee to go each day mount up.

Look in the fridge and cupboard and write a list before you shop, and only buy what's on it - but you do that already, I see.

Stop spending on ebay/amazon/play - spending online doesn't feel like real money is going out.

Is the money spent on going out? Clothes? Food? Petrol?

There is a fab money spreadsheet on the moneysavingexpert website that gets you to list down everything so you can see exactly where your money goes - you could also post a cut of this on their site and you'll get bombarded with advice on how to save money /cut your spending.

You have my sympahty as we're crap with money too

Do you have a budget? It can really help to see what your "essential" outgoings are.

I find that our bank account set up is really useful. We have a joint current account and a joint savings account. I've worked out the cost of all our bills per month (so stuff that's paid yearly I've divided by 12, etc.). That amount goes in the joint savings each month and I just move the right amount into the current account when the bill comes. The remaining total goes into the joint current account to cover bills. Then what's in our own current accounts is "spending money".

We do our food shopping online as I find it's easier to see how much I'm spending. Going veggie for most meals is one way of saving money, also bulking meals out with things like chickpeas and veg can help too.

If you're really struggling though, can you get to the CAB to have a chat to a debt specialist there (it's free and they'll help you budget)

Melted is absolutely right about keeping track of your spending - its all well and good to write up a budget but if you're not tracking your spending then it doesn't really mean anything.

I found keeping a spending diary difficult, but much easier to diligently save all my receipts, no matter how small, and chuck them into a shoebox until the end of the month. Then at month end you can work through them and see where your money really went.

Rycie is right about the small amounts going out - they really do add up.

Alvin Hall if a good money expert, he probably has a website or book.

Dh has had the redundancy thing many times this recession - which is what screwed up the ctc - I've given up with them, incompetent bunch of arses.

Budget says we should have £200 more going in than out this month - but nursery seem to have been late cashing last months cheque, so have paid that twice. Last month we should have been able to save about £800 though - I'm clearly missing something though aren't I as in fact we have £120 in savings Did work out on last months statement that we spent £200 on the local shop - on its late can't be arsed to cook lets get pizza type purchases. I'll have to dig it out and go over it with fine tooth comb

Just spoke to dh - to add to today as he was getting an interim statement from the atm it hung and swallowed his card.

We need to get cash out at the beginning of the month for housekeeping and spend nothing more than that. I need to look at taking dd out of childcare for a few months - worried about losing her place and messing up her routine, plus obviously would be lovely to have a couple of days a week just me and babs. Am already planning on going back to work when new baby is 6mo, really don't want to leave a baby younger than that in daycare. I work part time, and don't think I will be able to increase my hours.

We have tried to cut down on meat, food seems to have gotten more expensive though - we spend about £70-£80 a week at the supermarket, I budget £400 a month.

I feel like crying. So depressing.

Do you get childcare vouchers from work? If so they continue during mat leave so you can effectively have £243 worth of childcare for DD for free.

I have noticed I spend quite a lot on cleaning products like washing liquid and that these are cheaper at either a pound shop or Iceland on the whole.

Are you on freecycle? There are usually a fair few baby things available.

Congratulations on your pregnancy and good luck with the saving, even though it's no fun it does actually sound like you have got to grips with it on the whole.

I'm sorry you're having such a hard time

I'd agree with the posts above, you have gt to keep track of what you're spending better. Everything needs to be written down, either in a little pocket book or on the computer, or however works for you. You'll need to train your DH to keep and handover all his reciepts too.

You need to get a better menu plan sorted out if you're popping to the shop for easy meals so often. Are you planning complicated meals then chickening out on the night? for a guide I spend £400 a month for 6 of us (DH, me, dds 12, 10, 5 and ds 2 plus a dog and three cats) and that includes all cleaning stuff and toiletries and nappies for ds.

Have a look on moneysaving expert, especially the grocery challenges on the old style board. There are loads of threads on there on cheaper meals etc have a look here

Having said that though, it's only money and you're very pregnant and clearly have other thigns ony our mind. Don't get too upset and stressed! Good luck

I like the receipts idea - I could do that.

Just so fucking that I really thought we were starting to get on top of it - I wrote a budget and thought we could save enough to pay for holiday and maternity leave without going into debt - now here we are nearly a month into mat leave and 2 months from holiday with no money whatsoever.

We must be frittering it all away but I have no idea how.

Keep thinking when dd gets to school and I start work ft it will all get easier, but I don't want to wish away the time we have now, she won't be tiny for long, feel like I'm letting her down so much by not being able to sort this out and being constantly stressed by it all. I feel so stupid and pathetic. Other people seem to manage with less. This should be a happy time and I feel so rubbish and scared. We do have family who would help us out if we really need, but ffs I'm in my 30s seems ridiculous. So upset at once again losing op to save when times were good so making life extra hard now.

Childcare vouchers! I only found out about them when did my maternity leave paperwork - had forgotten I need to sort that out - soon as I've calmed down I'll dig out the number and try to organise that.

I think we'll make it, just won't be much fun. Spoke to dh again, he has decided to give up fags, which I've wanted him to do for about a decade so thats good. It is only money, we aren't about to lose our house - just need to sort it out now before that gets to be a possiblity. I feel like I live in chaos so much. I'm just so unorganised about everything and dh is the same. Esp. at the moment - probably right about complicated meals - don't plan my time well, then all of a sudden its 6pm and dd is tired and dh has phoned to say he'll be late and I'm really shattered. I'm really hoping it will settle down a bit when the baby comes - second babies sleep well don't they?

Tis 2pm have achieved very little today - need to tidy my tip of a house.

Thank you all for listening and offering advice - I'm so all over the place at the moment.

Sorry to hear you are struggling, but at least you're trying to do something about it rather than doing an ostrich.

Here's our set up, this really works for us and ensures we never overspend in any one area;

We have a main joint account which all income gets paid into - this is also the account from which all DD's are paid.

We then have separate accounts for food, savings, holiday savings, xmas savings and disposable money (or whatever combo works for you).

We have standing orders set up out to the separate accounts from the main account, we know there will always be money in for the important stuff like mortgage and utilities and I can clearly see how much I've got for food etc.

I also regularly write down what's coming in and what DD's etc are going out so that the standing orders can be tweaked as necessary. This really works well for use and we have managed to stay out of the overdraft for a few months now.

HTH

My technique for keeping track of the money is to use MS Money which I think came already installed on my PC (although any personal finance software would do). I keep all the transactions up to date (cheques, CCs, debits, everything) and this action alone seems to mean I spend less and am more conscious of how much is left. I also fewer overdrawn charges because I've 'forgotten' about a DD or a cheque that someone hasn't cashed yet. Took an afternoon to set up all the accounts but only about 10 mins each day to keep updated.

OP (I don't like to call you rubbish) - you say you spend £400 per month on food. This seems like an awful lot for 2 adults and a small child. Do you meal plan ? this really works and with a new baby it would help you practically as well so you have less to think about each day and others can help out of they know what you're having.

Just to point out that childcare vouchers aren't free, you have given up part of your salary for them although I do remember an interesting thread that said you are entitled to get them even if your pay is less than the amount of the vouchers during your mat leave.

Good luck