How much money is ok to give in a birthday card?

[lydiane]

I have just had an email from my brother in law saying that he no longer wants us to buy his kids presents for birthdays/christmas - he wants us to give them money in a card!!

Now I am faced with - how much is ok?

How much did you used to spend on gifts?

Sounds kind of rude of your BIL; you don't have to comply you know.

I often check with my Sis/SIL's what nieces and nephews want for their birthdays, as they do for mine. Sometimes I see something that is perfect for a child, but I'd usually check it with the parents before buying it. Pointless them getting things they already have or won't use. If I buy without checking I enclose a receipt.

Only people who send my DC money in a card is my elderly grandmother, who sends them £20 each as she can't get out to the shops. Very generous of her, and we can't dissuade her from doing it. They do enjoy spending it.

thankyou! I must admit I thought it was very rude - he also said in a round about way that our presents usually 'end up on a shelf'! what happened to get what you are given.

You are right kids love spending the money dont they? I think maybe £10 might be ok. usually when buying their presents I would probably spend a bit more - but probably because I enjoyed buying the stuff for them and would spread the cost by buying them things over a couple of months.
thanks for your advicex

That's part of the problem of giving cash, you can't look more generous than you are by buying something for £10 in a sale, that looks like it costs £20.
I'd give the bottom end of whatever you used to spend. Can you send vouchers instead - assuming they're in the UK I'd send a Waterstone's gift card with a tenner on it for each child. Or a book on manners...