Never thought I'd be here . .. .

[knackered76]

I've had two healthy pregnancies with no problems. I went today for a private scan and this one has not made it. No heartbeat and a couple of weeks smaller then dates. In shock about it really as it was so unexpected. Am booked in for tuesday to have d&c as I don't really want to wait for it to happen naturally. Have no idea what to expect really as I didn't ask questions, not really thinking at the time! Can anyone enlighten me. I roughly know what the procedure is but not sure what to expect afterwards with regards to bleeding, cramping, etc.

I'm so sorry for your loss. How many weeks were you?

Having a D&C is straightforward, and you shouldn't have too much bleeding or cramping afterwards if they do it properly. Doing it naturally is far worse - the cramping is like labour pains which rather adds insult to injury.

You should have your first period within a month or so, and it might be heavier than usual. But if it goes on for longer than a week, and you have blood clots and extremely heavy bleeding, ask for a scan to make sure that they have removed everything. (I had to have a D&C after my second MC but it had to be repeated because it hadn't been done properly, and I had to go private for it because neither my GP nor the local hospital would take me seriously when I told them that something wasn't right.)

Good luck for Tuesday.

oh knackered, i'm so sorry

i can't advise on the d&c i'm afraid, but I hope it isn't too bad for yotu

Thank you. I was meant to be 10 but stopped growing at 8. Completely unexpected especially as we had seen a heartbeat at an 8 week scan to check for something else.

Was just sitting here wondering if I should go natural, but you have just convinced me to stick with my choice!

knackered so sorry to read your post.

Have had 2 MMCs, one at 13 weeks, one at 11. Both in the last year after having DS who has just turned 2.

First time I had an ERPC - and I HATE hospitals and procedures etc and usually avoid at all costs. It was totally fine; in and out in 6 hours, would have been quicker but was last on surgical list. Physical recovery was really quick, bleeding probably for 5 days IIRC. Not very heavy. Really felt fine.

Second time the wait for an ERPC was 10 days and I MC naturally in the meantime. In the initial aftermath it felt quite horrid (in brief 5 hours of extreme blood loss when I was stuck in the bathroom, rotating from loo to shower to bath; pain was manageable, far less than some of my awful periods in my 20s). After that 5 days of medium-heavy bleed, 5 more of light. But actually in reflection the natural MC was ok too, and I think it had less impact on my cycle which returned to normal quicker.

BUT that could just be my experience.

I hope your recovery goes ok. I think it helps having DC already - you can't mope and dwell, so you have to get on with stuff.

True about the moping I was looking at my 2 this evening and thinking how lucky I am to have them (that was in between tearing my hair out as they wouldn't listen and I was clearly not in the mood!).

I have heard good things about the doctor doing it so fingers crossed it's all okay.

knackered sorry for you ...I'm afraid we are both going through the same thing....

I also have 2 children with no problems but the 3rd one isn't going to make it Should be 9 weeks but there is only an empty sac measuring 5 weeks.

I have to go back to check at the weekend but it's pretty certain that I will have to have a D&C as there is still stuff left inside.

I know that I am very lucky to have 2 healthy dcs but I still feel empty I will always think there should be 3

Ilovespinach - so sorry you're going through the same thing. It really is a bit rubbish. I'm not sure we'll try again, have to see how I feel. I know it's probably just bad luck seeing as I have 2 already but not sure I want to go through this again.

Loopymumsy - Such a shock, so sorry you had it as well. I was sure things were fine that I went to the scan by myself and then had to phone my DH in tears! Emotionally I don't feel too bad at the moment but think that might change come tuesday.

DH has to tell my MIL this morning. We only told them last week and she was sooooo excited. Luckily hadn't got round to telling my parents as they are on holiday.

knackered understand how you're feeling. It's such a difficult experience, I DO appreciate how some people want to protect themselves and their dearest from the chances of it happening again.

Don't know how old you are, or what your family expectations were/are (some people would say "oh you've already got the perfect two!"), but it might be good to take a break before you decide.

I am 42 and really didn't want DS to be an only child. But that may be what happens. I took a few months off TTC after my 2nd MMC, then got pg again first month of trying. Am 6 weeks on Monday so very early days, and I'm not that confident that all will be well. But felt I had to keep trying or I'd know I'd regret not giving it a go. If this pg fails, I don't know how many more times I'll try though.... Oldest swinger in town!?

hi knackered...i think we're at the same stage.

I had a scan last tues because i had a bit of bleeding - total shock to discover my baby had no heartbeat, infact it had stopped at 8 weeks and i thought i was at 11 weeks.

I couldn't decide which option to take - to let it happen naturally, take the pill or have a d&c. I have booked a d&c because things have started to happen naturally and i have been in a great deal of pain. After a morning of severe cramping i decided enough was enough.

I decided i couldn't move on properly with the knowledge that this bleeding and cramping could go on for ages. I have my d&c booked on monday and think i'll probably still have to have it even though i've had bleeding and cramps as i'm not convinced it's all come away.

So we're in it together - me on monday, you on tuesday. I have totally wound myself up about it but am enjoying the fact i can drink wine again!

Good luck, we'll be fine xxxx

Hi knackered, how are things going? I hope your family have been able to support you after finding out.

I'm not looking forward to tomorrow. I have to go back to the hospital to be poked around by stangers again Looks like I will have a d&c on Monday as not everything is coming away.

On the plus side, I have had a really nice day with the dcs. I know that I am ver very lucky to have them. Like you I'm not sure that we will try again. I don't want to be in this place again....

Also hi to walston house. Sorry you are also going through this.

Hi Ladies,

Not been too bad so far. MIL was suitably distraught but DH dealt with that. We've had a busy weekend so my mind has stayed off it until the night when I all I think about is why it could have happened and what I MUST have done (I know this isn't true, but it feels as though there must be something to blame!). Bit nervous about tuesday, especially seeing as I had to go in yesterday to have the paper work done and found that hard enough! What annoys me more is that I still feel pregnant, boobs still hurt, belly still huge and ravenous hunger
Walston - so sorry you're going through as well. It really is a totally rubbish place to be and not one I want to be in again. Have to admit though, a nice pimms and lemonade goes down well !

You all are lovely and have helped me enormously. The miscarriage club was one I never wanted to join, but now I have it's not so bad with you all being so lovely