I had an ERPC a week ago - we discovered the miscarriage at the nuchal scan, which was particularly cruel as I'd had a scan at 8 weeks which showed a strong heartbeat. I'm 44, so that pretty much means we're only ever going to have the one child.
This was the final straw in what has already been a really horrible year - my husband's gran died in March, and then my father died, very suddenly, in April (which has caused all sorts of family arguments too).
But what has turned it into a living nightmare is that the very same day I came back from the hospital, my friend across the road had her baby (our three year olds play together normally). It's like Coronation St here - no front gardens, so there is no way I can avoid the health visitors, the congratulations, the baby on the doorstep. There is no escape; it is like a bad dream which I keep waking up into.
And I am falling apart, I can't stop crying, I feel worthless and useless. I know it will be better in a month or two, but I can't quite see how I am going to get there.
I can't move house, I can't even go away because DD is having an operation next week. I have a doctor's appointment in a week's time - the first one I could get - and I think I will have to ask for anti-depressants as I don't know what else to do.
Sorry to offload like this.