This was meant to be our first baby. I went for my first ever 12 wk scan on Monday at which I was told that the baby was showing that its' brain wasn't developing properly. I then had to wait 24hrs for another scan for the consultant to confirm this... had this yesterday at which i was told that basically the baby had massive spinal and brain deformities, a link just hadn't linked and now I have to go for a surgical termination on Friday. Am totally and utterly shocked, devastated and a hundred other emotions too...
one minute i am rational.. better now than have to give birth to a baby which wouldn't survive, the next i am feeling guilty,angry, upset.. i am also worried about trying to conceive next time.. they've told me i'll
need to take tablets for a high dose of
folic acid netx time as there's only a slight-but it's still there-chance of it happening again and to prevent this.
To make matters worse my sister in law is pregnant and so are 5 women at work-one of whom is due the week before i should have been. How do i try not to feel awful, jealous and to allow them to be excited about their pregnancies
also, i feel so bad- and no disrespect intended for anyone who has suffered a miscarriage- because i think i would have felt better if i had miscarried - seeing the baby moving and its' strong little heartbeat and then being told i have to lose it is just too cruel.. can't compute that i saw it and now i won't have it..
the positives are that my husband has been amazing.. as have family and the hospital staff...
Just feel crap and alone as people I know have had a miscarriage but not this situation..
apologies for long post but just wondered if anyone out there has been through this or got any adivce/support...