Can they be wrong?

[Velvetcu]

I was told on Wednesday that I have had an MMC. I have been in shock since then so I havent been thinking straight but now I'm thinking maybe the dr was wrong.

I know it's a long shot and I have pretty much accepted that it's over but I have a few things niggling in the back of my mind. I want an ERPC to get it over with but these doubts are enough to stop me.

I was supposed to be 10+2 on Weds when I was told but my cycles have been anywhere between 28 and 46 days. He said in the scan I was measuring way too small for what I should be and there was no heartbeat but it is actually possible that I am only 6-7weeks. The report is all based on what the gestational age should be. He assumed that it stopped growing at 7 weeks which is about what I'm measuring as far as I can work out.

I have all my symptoms still, my boobs have actually grown and on top of that I started feeling sick this morning (I haven't had that up until now). On the down side I have some cramping and brown discharge (tmi).

I'm so confused! I do think he is right so why wont these thoughts go away? I wish the bleeding would start because then I would know for sure

Oh you poor thing. Yes they can be wrong, but I think they can usually see a heartbeat at 6-7 weeks - so sorry to say that. But that is very close to the point at which a heartbeat would be seen so I can understand your doubts.

Are you booked in for an ERPC or have they suggested another scan just in case?

If the former, I would phone and see if they will scan you again for your peace of mind. Otherwise you'll probably worry about this if you go ahead with the ERPC.

Am so sorry Velvet. I can't tell you what to do because it's a very personal decision and what you feel is right will be right. I can only tell you my story. I am in the midst of a MMC - everyone's journey is different. We were told at our first scan (a private one at 9wks + 4) that it was a twin pregnancy with two foetal poles but no heartbeats (first pregnancy EDD 1st Dec). I have a regular cycle and was sure of my dates. We were sent to the EPAS the following day where the diagnosis was confirmed but I also had a scan a week later - it helped me to process what was happening and gave my DP and I the opportunity to ask more questions etc but for others waiting and the whole information hitting you like a tonne of bricks again is not the right path.

My pregnancy symptoms continued (I think this is common in MMC) for a few days after the first scan then subsided - I'm not sure if that was a mental or physical thing. I seem to have fallen down the conservative management route which means I've had weekly follow ups at the EPAS unit. I didn't start to spot till I was 11wks+ Things really started on Wednesday then eased off - I was scanned again on Friday and it was clear that the pregnancy was no longer there. Again I found that reassuring. Physically things have def moved on over the week-end. It can be a long road if you choose to wait once you know for sure but that's not what you're asking about now - you want reassurance and to know for sure. For that I would offer advice and say get a second scan - it might not change things but at least you'll never think back and wonder. Once you have and you know where you're at for sure you'll find strength to find a way even in the midst of all this pain to do what's right for yourself. The one thing the EPAS unit have said all along is that you can change your mind at any time - remember that. There are no rules.

Am so sorry you're going through this. Time has helped me to process a lot. I wish I could be more helpful to you. Am sending you lots of love and support X

Hi Velvet,

I had a similar experience. Was told that my twin pregnanacy had no heart beat, and should have had at 6 weeks. However, the scan Dr said he couldn't be sure, and the next thing I knew I had been given a leaflet for MMC and was in seeing the dr to discuss my options. I felt like it was a bit rushed, and didn't want to go ahead with anything at all until it was 100% sure. I waited another 10 days to see if I did start to bleed - I didn't, had another scan which confirmed no growth and no HB, so I ended up having the medical management.
If you are in doubt, ask if you can wait another week or so, then have another scan. Don't rush into something you are not comfortable with, or you will always wonder.
Good luck with what you decide xxx

Thanks for all of your help ladies.

I really am not pinning any hopes on it as such it's just a tiny doubt. I also need to be able to ask questions etc as you did MummyMcKt because I was in no state to in the first scan and he didnt seem like he wanted to explain much either. We were there for about 15mins that's all.

MS has started in earnest this morning - it seems so unfair that I should develop a new symptom after MMC! Is this even possible?

The scan I had was private so I dont really know how to go about getting into the nhs for one aside from going to AnE and making up a story about cramps and bleeding and asking them to check for me.

Midwife was most unhelpful - she doesnt deal with MC or what happens after so she had noting to say on it!

I'm sorry to hear about your troubles Velvetcu and it's completely understandable you would want to be 100% ure.

I would push for a scan from the NHS ... are you booked in? if the only scan you've had is private when were the NHS due to scan you? Were you going to have the ERPC done privately? There should be no need to make up stories ... the NHS have a duty to care for you which doesn't disappear just because you've had private treatment.

I'm perplexed at the midwife saying s/he did not deal with this ... after my miscarriage my community midwife was a star and couldn't do enough. How very odd.

Best of luck to you whatever you decide.

My nhs scan isnt until 8th June and yes I was going to have ERPC privately since I may as well use the health insurance for something!

I'm a teacher and I just cant deal with being around kids while all this is going on. That's why I need to get it sorted asap. I really wish I wasnt wondering - i know its futile!

You really are all wonderful

So sorry you are going through this.
I had a MMC which was picked up at my 12 week scan. The baby had stopped growing at 7 weeks, which was around the time that my pregnancy symptoms really kicked in, and they continued for the full 12 weeks. I couldn't get my head around the whole thing.
I went for the ERPC as it was clear from my scan that there was no sign of life, and it was only after that that my symptoms went away.

I am at your midwife. My midwife came round straight after the scan & was lovely.

MMC is just horrible & my heart goes out to you. Look after yourself.

I felt just like you did - that the might have made a mistake but sadly it wasn't the case. I found out at my 12 week scan. You should be able to go for another scan at an early pregnancy unit I would hope - can you go and see your GP and get referred.

I decided I didn't want to go for an ERPC in case they had made a mistake so waited until I started bleeding - took about a week. I still felt pregnant and it was a complete shock when I went for my scan.

I am so sorry you're going through this, it's horrible

Just logged on to see how everyone's doing. My first scan was a private one too Velvet although they asked me if I wanted them to phone my local EPAU which they did and the EPAU saw me the next day. The first time we went to the EPAU I knew we'd get the same outcome but they still asked me lots of questions re date of last period/how many weeks I was/any symptoms (I'd had no spotting and was still getting MS which as you say is just nasty). The EPAU scan confirmed findings of the private one but they were so helpful with questions. My DP and I had written a whole load out the night before - it helped me stay focused and they went through all options/what the scan had shown/what the future might hold etc etc. As I said before despite this I still returned the following week for a further scan. It helped me to process that things were unfortunately as they were My DP and I wanted to look at the screen when they scanned me, asked lots of questions re what was what and have all of the scan pictures they took. I know everyone's different but it's helped me again - I can see that there were actually twins! (sometimes it feels like I've imagined the whole thing!). There's lots of different experiences written up here on MN which I've found very helpful. I'm also a teacher - probably why I asked SO many questions lol - I've been signed off throughout this process. Again that's not for everyone. I think everyone but teacher's in particular feel guilty when they put themselves first. At the moment I think we're nearing the end of our journey and that I'll be back in the thick of RL soon and for now I feel I made the right choice for me (hell I was planning on taking the full mat leave so what's a little bit of time now ;) Give your local hospital a phone on Monday and ask to speak to early pregnancy (mine's open btwn 8.30 and 10.30am) tell them you had a private scan last week, what the outcome was and that you'd like to come in to have a scan and discuss where you're at. If they try and put you off - just turn up and stick your ground lol Every time I've been given an "appointment" for mine they still just poke their head out of the office and say "Next!" (but that's another story!!!!) I also looked into a private ERPC - I thought if our health care covered it I may as well ensure I had a private room/my DP there as much as poss etc Unfortunately ours doesn't cover anything pregnancy related (through DPs wrok so it didn't surprise me!) but if you go down this route I'm sure your local EPAU would liase with your private provider (it'd prob be one of their consultants anyway).
Thinking of you (all). Hope this week brings you more answers. Apologies for such a long winded post.

Right I'm booked in for a scan tomorrow morning. I know that there is no happy ending for this but I need to talk to someone about it now that I have had time to process things.

I have also confirmed with my private healthcare that I'm covered for my ERPC so hopefully that will be done this week.

Finally I will be seeing my GP tomorrow to get signed off - I have already told work I wont be in this week and thankfully for me the HR lady also had an MMC 15 years ago so she knows exactly what I'm going through and has been wonderful.

How are you ladies doing? At the moment I'm finding it difficult accepting that my baby died while I was supposed to be protecting it

Just wanted to say am thinking of you Velvet. Take Care.

Also thinking of you Velvet - please try not to berate yourself that your baby may have died whilst you were supposed to be protecting it. As you probably know MMC is so very common _ I have had 3 mc myself and it is nothing that we do wrong - more often than not it is something in the baby that was genetically or physiologically wrong and which causes it to stop growing or otherwise cease to be vialbe.

Sending you all the very best for tomorow..

Wishing you all the best for your scan today velvet. I am in the same position as you, having my 2nd scan tomorrow, whilst aware there is no real chance it will be ok, I still have a tiny bit that hopes it may be ok.

So, I am thinking of you, I know how hard this is. Big Hugs x

So as we expected I have definately had MMC. I feel so much better now though - the sonographer was lovely and answered all my questions. It's ironic that the embryo stopped developing about the time that I took my pregnancy test

I am going for an ERPC asap and she explained the procedure to me since I have never even had a tooth out so I am petrified. The earliest the NHS can do is next Tuesday.

MummyMcKT - I have just had a snooty email from our power hungry new deputy head about missing my duty today. Of course getting that covered should be at the forefront of my mind right now!! I'm deciding how to respond at the moment. I might tell her I'm off sick waiting to go into hospital for an operation - that is sufficient to make her feel bad but without telling her everything I think.

Sorry you got the news you were expecting Velvet

There's so much info on here re ERPC that I'm sure if you feel like having a look there will be stuff to read that might put your mind a bit more at ease.

As a total aside I had a Bartholins Cyst removed from "down below" a few years ago. I don't like operations either so refused to have it done unless they did it under a local anaesthetic (I like to be in control!) They thought I was mental but it went ahead me in the operating theatre legs akimbo and I survived Also used to be a wimp at the dentist but registered with a lovely one a few years ago and didn't bat an eyelid when she had to do root canal treatment on me. Not the same emotionally but I think everyone's petrifed of stuff like that. Perfectly natural - you WILL get through it.

If you're off work you DON'T NEED to respond to work emails lol (I smiled at that as I've checked mine regularly). If you've told HR then that should be enough if that's your schools protocol - she probably thinks you're sunning yourself and making the most of the mini heatwave (we wish!)

Anyway I digress. It's my bday today so am off to salvage what I can of it! Am TOY (all). Take Care