Feeling numb and in limbo

[twolittlemonkeys]

I'm pretty sure I'm miscarrying. Been bleeding since Saturday and cramps are getting gradually stronger. All the medical professionals I saw or spoke to over the weekend were useless and insensitive, but my GP and another GP at my practice have been wonderful. I have a scan booked for Friday (when I should be 9 wks) so will have been waiting a week not knowing for sure whether or not I'm still carrying a baby.

I'm so sad as we'd just had a scan (at 7+4) which showed a heartbeat and everything looking ok. The wait is what's torturing me most I think. I've already decided mentally that I have lost this baby as I can't face setting myself up for a fall by being optimistic.

I know it's early days but even though we were actively trying (this is a Clomid baby) this experience is really putting me off ttc again and making me think again about having any more children. The cramps are horrible and I feel so lousy but I have to pick myself up and look after my 2 and 4 year old. Just want to go to bed and pull the covers over my head and cry. I haven't got the strength to deal with all the other things which are also going on at the moment (DS1 not having a school place for September, for example!).

I'm a bit clueless as to what to expect next. Thanks for reading my rather self-indulgent vent...

So sorry, I know how you must be feeling. Have been there.

Waiting for Friday is awful I know. Is there anyone who can come and look after the DC while you literally do go to bed?

DH should be home around 5 so I can have a lie down for an hour or so maybe then I have to get back up as I have music lessons to teach (from home, fortunately...) Thanks for the sympathy

Argh, it's always stupidly busy when stuff like this happens. In one way it keeps you occupied I suppose, but I'd find it hard to keep going. It's tough.

I had an ectopic pregnancy last month which all kicked off while I had loads of work on and DH was flying abroad for work for 3 weeks.

Like you, everything that's happened has made me think again about trying to have more children, am I being greedy, is it selfish? etc etc. But I don't think either of us are at an appropriate stage to think about big decisions.

So try to just be as kind to yourself as you possibly can I reckon. Not much of a solution I know but it's the best I can find for myself too!

I agree. During a MC not a sensible time to make these decisions as DH has pointed out. The pain is a lot worse, like labour pains now, I may end up in A&E before Friday if this carries on...

Hideous, I'm sorry.

What happened last night, did you end up going to A&E? Sorry I didn't see your message.

Either way, I hope the pain has eased/gone by now. As I said before, try to take it easy and accept help from whoever you can and rest.

Sorry to hear your having such a bad time.
I started bleeding on Friday eve, and got alot worse over the weekend.
I could only be scanned today ( don't do weekends!!!)sadly the baby had gone and I had a complete miscarriage.
I hope you are ok, and you have a better out come.
X

Little update - had excruciating pains by later on Wed afternoon so a friend came over to look after the kids and DH took me to A&E, I was literally sobbing in pain - was seen pretty quickly and given morphine. After a few hours there was space on the gynae ward so they took me up there - I passed some big clots and they admitted me. Stayed overnight, bleeding eased up a bit but scan on Thursday evening showed I had miscarried. Am still bleeding but it's lighter now. So far I'm staying positive but do well up from time to time. I do want to ttc again though, despite my initial thoughts that I wouldn't because it's too hard suffering the loss.

Sorry to hear you're in the same boat ljg72. DG I feel for you, the lady in the bed opposite me had an ectopic (following a sterilisation!!) She'd had 3 children but had her tubes tied following 2 stillbirths because she couldn't cope with the pain of losing another baby. So sad.

It's the hardest thing ever...this baby was so wanted...when do you move on?...my friend is trying to help and tells me to just try again asap...but I can't go through this again...feels like I'm going to bleed forever.x

How do you get through it ... what do you do??? I had DD via IVF 3 years ago, mc in November from IVF, second mc started at nine weeks and had erpc last Tue, also from IVF. Feels like I just can't face people, the future, family ... how do you get through this numb time???