Three years on, and only now am I grieving

[Glitterknickaz]

Today, seventeen minutes ago... three years ago.

My eldest baby girl was born.

I found out on the 9/5/07 that she'd gone..... had the tablet..... went in on 11/5 to be induced (DH's birthday).

Alex was born at 00:15hrs 12/5/07

No kidneys. She had no kidneys. Died of a true knot in the cord though. Incompatible with life.

I thank Mother Nature that the decision to terminate was taken away from me. That she passed peacefully, warm and cosy inside of me.

I really miss her. Every day. I have had a DD since, I'd say healthy but she does have SN, but SHE'S ALIVE. Completely and utterly treasured by me and DH, and her brothers.

The last three years I have felt numb. This year I can cry for my beautiful (outwardly) perfect DD.

Alex, I miss you desperately, although you have a younger sister you leave the biggest hole in the fabric of this family.

I love you darling xxx

I am so sorry for your loss, you story made me cry.

I hope you are ok

xx

GK That is a beautiful tribute to your daughter. Thank you for posting it here. It has reawakened bittersweet memories for me as it will for many on mumsnet, but it serves as a tribute to all the wee souls who did not live to see the light of day. I called mine Daniel.

Glitter your story is so moving and so beautifully expressed. I am so sorry for the loss of your precious daughter.

Can you talk about her in rl?

I wish I could say something that could help. You sound so bereft. xxx

gk i cant think of anything to say, but couldn't 'not' post.

hope you have some good support in rl.

will be thinking of you today.

take care xx