devastated by 3rd loss in a row

[mashedpotatobrain]

Hi brand new to this. Just going through my 3rd mc in a row. I'm in pain, bleeding heavily and feel totally desolated yet its ds5 2nd birthday and i'm trying to put on a happy face and according to dh still looking miserable! I suddenly feel very old but I'm only 40. I've had 5 ds in 11 years with no problems. We actually planned number 6 (unlike the others who just happily came along)and I had a mmc at 16 weeks caught again after 2 months and had a mc at 6+5 weeks, kept positive and caught straight away only to lose it at 5 1/2 weeks. What has suddenly happened to make it all go wrong and is this the end ? I look at my lovely children and I still feel that one is missing. I know I'm very very lucky and feel almost guilty for feeling so bad. I can't believe I won't have another I always felt it was the onething I could do well

Hi, I am very sorry for your losses and can relate. I have 5 DC and in between have had 2 losses in the first 12 weeks and 2 losses after 20 weeks. I felt so empty before having DC5 but alot of people didn't get it since I already had several DC. Especially after repeated losses I felt useless.

I did find that I had developed a blood clotting problem that causes late MC and was treated for that and also had a cervical stitch as I was MC again at 20 weeks. Have you had any tests?

Only saw doc on Friday withlight bleeding will see him again on tues to discuss. His expression just said you have 5 kids you're now 40 STOP he actually made a comment about large families and their carbon footprint. Will ask that hesends me for tests since it is now 3 mc but don't really know what they will test for

I saw your post on another thread just now. It is miserable thing to happen even the once. Hope the bleeding stops soon. Keep up with the paracetamol - take the max dose as often as you are allowed. Or anything stronger you have in the house. Get dosed up, you shouldn't have to be in pain. You could go to A&E for something stronger but that would take ages and if it was me, I would rather just be at home as long as I could stand it.

Very silly of your doctor to make that comment. BTW I am one of 6 and love it.

Thanks will stay home with the paracetamol and hot water bottle the last time was worse for pain. I'm one of 6 too and always wanted a big family dh is one of 5 . Most people don't seemto understand though, they don't know what they're missing.

mashed sorry for your losses.

your doctors comments are extremely rudee. as long as you are in aposition to look after your dc, who is he to say when you should stop.

i get alot of comments about having another, because i have a ds and a dd, people assume i dont want anymore. and when they learn that i have had 4 mc trying to have my third, they seem amazed! why would i put myself through that when i have one of each?

not sure what tests you will be offered. it depends on the consultant. there are some standard tests for rmc but i know my nhs cons didnt test for them all, but then he did some extra tests that others wouldn't do iyswim.

anyway, hope you get some good support in rl.

x

Also MashedPotato, forgot to say you could also ask your GP for a prescription for high dose Folic Acid tablets(5mg). You need a prescription in the UK for this. My GP was fine with the idea, just asked me to come back after a month of taking it to have a blood test to check that it was actually improving my levels. So he prescribed 1 months supply.

Hope you are getting lots of support from your brothers and sisters - it's one of the many benefits of having a large family is there's always a few shoulders to cry on!

Thanks mimsy for suggesting higher folic acid. I had thought about chucking out the pregnacare. The failed pregnancies were the planned ones I lost weight took real care about my diet and started supplements before ttc and yet all resulted in mc. ds5 was a surprise I didn't realise for 8 weeks. I wasn't eating properly sincemy mum had just died then when I realised I was pg I was vomiting up to 10 times a day and eventually put on antisickness med yet he was fine. None of it seems to make sense. Doc may have some pearls of wisdom tomorrow. On the plus side mc seems to have been complete pain and heavy bleeding are gone just light bleeding now thank goodness. Heres to aquick recovery and another attempt although not sure if I should wait a cycle or not this time.

Definitely don't stop the supplements, if you've had 3 MCs in a row you could do with the iron at the very least. I do know what you mean though, I couldn't stand to look at the Pregnacare box I had - threw it in the back of the drawer in a huff.
I am glad you are feeling better now and hope it goes well at your GP tomorrow.

Hi, I had 4 mc's after I had DS. I was eventually tested and treated for raised NKC with mild dose steroids. I also had progesterone supplements (just in case) and aspirin. Dont let your GP be a bully, I was lucky in that mine was fab and supportive and I now have my beautiful daughter aged 6 months at the ripe old age of 40. Just so you know, raised NKC can be triggered by a successful pregnancy I believe. Good luck. x

Went back to doc who was really nice this time(he must have had a good bank holiday weekend) His opinion, and mine originally, was that if something was wrong I was unlikely to have had 5 problem free pregs in a row and that it was more likely that it was a case of just bad luck to have my quota of mc in a row. However he did say to come back if I decided to opt for testing or if I started to tumble into depression (I have a history of PND). I have found out that i am covered for consultation and the standard range of tests by BUPA, so I have decided to go for them as leastthen I won't be thinking what if when I hopefully get pg again. Giving ttc a rest for a month or 2 since I need at least 1 period before trying and dh will be away most of June anyway. That should be enough time for tests aswell.