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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

counciling or therapy after miscarage?

12 replies

Jakey87 · 26/04/2010 23:40

hi all
i was wondering if anyone has seen a councilor or therapist after a mc? i dont seem to be coping at all after loosing my baby to early mc in feb and waiting till april for poc (horrible term) to be taken away, i also lost my brother in january so it has been alot to deal with all at once, on top of all that i split up with my partner through all of this and also had a terrifiying experience at the hospital during medical management.
my doctor has recomended i see a councilor or emotions therapist to help me cope with everything going on in my head but i cant imagin ever being comfortable enough to go into every detail of what has happened to me and my family since before xmas so i dont think it will help talking to a stranger.
posting on here you only say what you want to and get replys from people who have been in your position or similar but its not face to face and the emotions are hidden if you know what i mean.
so if anyone did see a councilor or therapist, did it help? were u able to discuse your deepest feelings and fears with a stranger and let all the emotions out? you only get a 5 minute slot with the GP so dont have time to say what you want to say and emotions take over before i even get started.
this may sound like a rambling mess but i seem to have gained more support on here than i have from any medical profesionals this side of xmas. (sorry for the long post and the rant)x

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LunaticFringe · 27/04/2010 10:06

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vtiredmummy · 27/04/2010 10:07

Hi, I had two mc's last year, one at 6wks and one discovered at 12 wk scan, when baby had only died just before, which was tough.

I saw a counsellor for about 2-3 months after the second one and it really helped me. I was able to talk about things I couldn't even discuss with my dh or friends, which surprised me, and helped a great deal. Without going into too much detail she helped me seperate my feelings of grief from the other issues I had. I don't know about you, but all of my feelings, emotions, inadequacies felt all jumpled together at the time and I needed someone to help me sort them all out and deal with them!

Give it a go - if you feel you don't get anything from it after a few sessions there is no obligation to continue.

All the best.

Lubyloo · 28/04/2010 19:25

Sorry you have gone through this Jakey. It may help you to contact the Miscarriage Association. There may be a support group near you that you might find helpful. If you don't feel that that is for you then they can put you in touch with a volunteer who has experienced miscarriage and you can talk things through with them.

Jakey87 · 29/04/2010 23:26

Hi Lubyloo,

i was given a leaflet about the miscarriage association from the hospital but in a mad moment i must have thrown it away with all of the baby books and the info i got from the midwife.
i have looked online but didnt see anything about the volunteer service you described, only a telephone number for a suport group which i dont think i could handle.

do you have any more details on the volunteers or how i would make contact with them?

tc hun x

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Lubyloo · 29/04/2010 23:37

Hi Jakey,

Details are here.

If you give the main number a ring they will put you in touch with the closest volunteer to you.

Jakey87 · 29/04/2010 23:46

thank you hun tc x

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LoveMachine · 29/04/2010 23:53

hi jakey,

so sorry for your loss, i have been there too many times before and i really struggled to come to terms with what was happening to me,

councilling really helped, as did MN and opening up to a few close friends,

where about (roughly) are you? i have contacts at the MA that may be able to offer you help,

take care x

Jakey87 · 30/04/2010 00:08

Hi LoveMachine

im in Blyth a small town near Newcastle.

MN has been my life line over the past few weeks but as everyone in RL including my doctor thinks i should be pulling myself togeather by now or see a councilor i was wondering if it realy would help, but i cant deal with face to face emotions atm, emotions overload and i end up in such a state i cant talk anyway.
do the MA offer a telephone service or do you have to go to a group session or meet with somone face to face?

tc x

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LoveMachine · 30/04/2010 00:21

they mostly do telephone help.

i promise you, call them , they will help,

if you are stuck or worried, google the chester miscarriage group, it will give you a name and a number to call for help and a friendly ear,

the lady that answered that phone to me saved me from insanity x

Jakey87 · 30/04/2010 01:04

thank you hun tc x

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LoveMachine · 01/05/2010 21:40

how are you feeling today jakey?

Jakey87 · 02/05/2010 16:04

hi LoveMachine.
today im feeling totaly numb as if the world is moving on and im at a stand still. i was watching the neighbours kids playing in the lane yesterday so free and inocent and decided i needed to get a grip on reality.
woke up determind that today would be the first normal day since everythig went wrong, still woke up in tears, fought realy hard but the tears still insisted on coming out and after about an hour i managed to pull myself round a bit. even attempted to do somthing with my hair intending to go shopping but decided at the last min not to go incase i saw someone who asked about the baby.
i then recived a phone call from my friend who lives away saying she had just had a mc aswell and asking me for advice on how to cope. all i could say was take one step at a time. i feel so guilty that i cant be there for her, i know exactly how she is feeling yet i cant face opening up to her or tell her everythig will be ok in the end because to me it seems the pain will never end.
i rang the mc association and someone is going to ring me back next week, but im still not sure i can open up and say exactly how im feeling.
i have a doc apointment on friday and im seriously thinking of just letting it all out when i get there, realy hoping i wont clam up or be choked with emotion before my 5 minute apointment is over.
iv got to do somthing tho because i think i might go mad if i dont get my head togeather soon, i need to be fit for work soon also because im going to end up n debt over my head if i dont. i keep telling myself that asking for help is the first step to recovery but i still feel embarrased that i cant cope and feel like my body and my mind have let me down.
sorry for the ramble hun, hope you are as well as can be expected. take care x

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