Late miscarriage - 17 weeks. Please help xxx

[MummyWilliams]

Have just found out our baby died a couple of days ago, i'm 17+1 today. Have had previous mmc at 15weeks, baby had died 11+6 (so they say). Any experience or advice very welcome. xxx

So sorry you are going through this, MummyWilliams. Thinking of you today.

Hi every one i too had a missed miscarriage at 17 weeks.
i went thru a birth and the hospital did arrange the funeral and everything for us (like cece said).
i really feel for u guys as i know it is something that no mum should have to go thru.
Im now 7 weeks pregnant and me and my husband are looking forward to this pregnancy
being a successful one.
We had the love and support from family and friends.
im sure there is light beyond the tunnel.
please everyone have possitive thoughts for each other together we can get thru this.
love to u all xxx

chevchina

I hope you are recovering well MW, thinking of you. We are hear if you want to talk x

Hello...

Baby boy delivered Thursday lunchtime. Cord was wrapped around his neck six times and the placenta was drained of blood. The midwife we had was brilliant and I can't thank her enough for everything. It was a very, very sad experience, but she somehow made it bearable.

I think my milk has come in as my boobs feel much much more sore than they did whilst pregnant. Or i guess it could just be the hormones.

Had a very bad day on Saturday, cried most of the day. Now crying on and off. I have had DP and my two DC with me since which makes NOT thinking about things easier, but I am getting scared about being alone. Even when DP just popped to the shop, he was only gone 15 minutes, I just fell to pieces.

chevchina Big congratulations on falling pregnant again - wishing you a successful pregnancy and a happy outcome. How long did you bleed for? How long did it take to have your first period? And how long it did take fir you to fall pregnant?

seashells thank you for coming on here and for your message. I hope everything is ok with you.

Have nothing constructive to add, but just wanted to wish you the strength to get through this. Lots of love x

Hi MummyWilliams. I am worried that anything I say will sound trite but I just could not read this without posting.

I am so very sorry for your loss. I hope you and your family can find some way to get through this.

I am not a religious person, but I am thinking of you today and sending you strength and love xxxx

So glad your family around- is your dh off next week ( even in a part time basis?)

i haven't been through this late a mc, so can only imagine your pain. I'm glad other mums here can give you real empathetic support, please use us and post, it's often easier to write your thoughts than speak then ( but do talk with your dh).

Thinking of you.

So sorry for the loss of your son Mummywilliams. I also had massive seperation anxiety from my dh after we lost our baby at 12 weeks in 2008. It took a month or so for me to get any form of self confidence back.

MummyWilliams well done for getting through the birth and so pleased you had a good midwife. I agree with what trafficcone said, I didn't want to be left alone for a good while after. Is there any family who could help out or has DH any holiday owing?

A lot of people find their milk does come in - mine did at 18 weeks. You can get tablets from GP if you want to. Bleeding I think went on for about 3 weeks.

I don't know if this is a help to you but seeing as you asked chevchina, I got pregnant the first cycle after my 18 week miscarriage and everything went really well. I found the pregnancy mentally v difficult though and think it delayed the grieving process a bit.

Thanks owlingate. They did give me tablets but when I read about the possible side effects I decided not to take them.

I was supposed to go to work today. I'm a freelance graphic designer, so no work = no money. I had told the lady who I work regularly for, that I would be back today. But yesterday I was dreading having to leave the house without DP. So I haven't gone to work today. DP works part time anyway and will be back just after lunch. I can't wait for him to come back. I can't face doing the school run either. I can't bare the sympathy, the questions or the silence.

My parents live 130 miles away. They phone everyday, but I just tell them that i'm ok and change the subject when they say "are you ok?". I would end up crying down the phone, and I don't want them feeling useless what with being so far away.

I am struggling to talk to DP. I just cry and he tentatively holds me. There are things I want to say, want to ask. But the words just don't come out, because if they did I would just end up uncontrollable sobbing.

I keep thinking about our DS, going through the post mortem. I think about whether he was suffering while the cord was wrapped around his neck. He must have. I think about what we will call him. His memory box is in our living room, I look at the box, and really, really want to look through the pictures, but just the thought of looking at his fragile little face makes me cry.

I feel desperately lost.

xxx

Mummywilliams, I am so sorry to hear you have been through a late miscarriage.

I have had two, one at 20 weeks and one at 16 weeks. After the sixteen week mc I have a period about 5 weeks later and then got pregnant. Started trying straight away but didn't get pregnant before my first period as I went away with my girls for a few days as it was the school summer holdiay. The next pregnancy went well though it was very tiring as it seemed very long - ds is now nearly two.

mummywilliams you are so brave. Thankyou for telling us about your little boy.

I still cry, 22 months down the track, when I look at DS' memory box. It is a comfort now. You know it is there, and you will always have it, and can look when you are ready. Not really any consolation for losing your little boy though is it?

You have only just given birth, and have all the hormones sorting themselves out. Maybe give yourself a little more time before trying to work? Saying that, DH and I had a week at home and then both felt we needed to go to work to fill in some of the day and distract from the constant grief.

I took the tablets to stop lactation as I didn't think i could manage that on top of everything else that had happened. I didn't have any side effects from them.

As to some practical issues, I bled for 3 weeks, had a period 28days after DS' birth and was pregnant after my second period.

Keep posting, we are listening.

MummyWilliams, I'm so sorry for your loss. Your pain is raw, is there anyway you can put of returning to work for longer?
Work can be a welcome distraction, but its so soon after the loss of your son. Maybe in days/weeks you'll be more up to it, but don't push yourself.

I lost my little girl at 31 weeks in March. We have a memory box, photos, little keepsakes from her very short time with us, they are of great comfort. Of cause they never make up for not having Rose, but we treasure them like nothing else on this earth.

It does sound as though your milk is coming in, I refused the meds to prevent it too. I needed my milk to come in, I needed to know how it felt, needed my body to have done what it should have for her.

I bled for 10 days and my period returned almost a month after Rose's birth. My cycles seem to have settled down to their pre pregancy ways.

Thinking of you.

Just wanted to write this here:

Our tiny Son, Jack George, who fell asleep in Mummy's tummy.

Born 29th April 2010 at 1.25pm.

Laid to rest 5th July 2010.

Thought of everyday.

To our tiny Son, Jack

Until we meet again... we will watch you amongst the butterflies and dancing leaves. We will hold you in our arms while we sleep. We will hear you in the rain.

You will be forever in our hearts.

Lots of Love Always

Mummy & Daddy xx

rip jack.

don't know what to post but couldn't not say anything mummy. what have said is beautiful.

so very very sad for you.

Rest In Peace little Angel Jack, you are playing somewhere in heaven with all the other little angels.

My thoughts are with you and your partner MummyWilliams

MummyWilliams, you've made me cry. I had a late (22+1) miscarriage due to incompetant cervix. our boy's funeral was done by the hospital. I know that my DH still feels cheated that he never had a chance to see him. DD makes up for it though.
Every good wish to you and your family.

God Bless you baby Jack and your mummy and daddy. Sleep tight and have lovely dreams in Heaven xxx

I have tears running down my cheek reading your poem...so very sorry for the los of your angel

I have had this happen 3 times one at 19 weeks, one at 21 weeks and recently Sept 15weeks. Please please get checked out for antiphospholipid syndrome. It affects pregnancy and causes 2nd trimester loss. Can be treated!!! with aspirin and heparin very succesfully. i have 3 live children who were succesfully treated and went on to healthy pregnancies. aps causes blood to get sticky around the placenta preventing blood flowing to baby so starving them an causing small babies. can be identified with routine blood test and treatment started straight away. good luck for the future.xx

RIP Jack. Love to you all MW xx

hi mummywilliams

in answer to your questions back in april i actually lost my second baby at 12 weeks another missed miscarriage,
my husband and i are trying again regardless we feel it should not stop us from having our own baby as i have an 18 year old son from my first marriage.
we will be seeing the gynaecologist in september to see i can have hormone injections for the first trimester when we conceive again.

there must be light at the end of the tunnel for us all

keep on believing as i know some one who lost 4 babies, went on the injections and is expecting a boy this month in two weeks.
Maybe other mums should ask for them as i really didnt know about them until another mum told me.

good luck to u all

chevchina

Just wanted to mark Jack's official due date which is today.

Mummy & Daddy love you very much xxx