Recurrent miscarriage - please can anyone give me any hope after 5 miscarriages??

[choccyqueenx]

Sadly I've had 5 miscarriages in the last 2 and a half years, and have tried everything I can think of to break this pattern and achieve a healthy full term pregnancy and baby (acupuncture, all the tests at RMC St Marys) and now I just feel so worn out emotionally with it all. I don't have the emotional energy to just keep on hoping the next conception (if I'm lucky enough to conceive again!) will be 'the one'. Does anyone else feel like this?
I don't want to give up but I need to get on with my life too. The only thing I can say that keeps me sane is that I do have a goregeous healthy 3 year old daughter to keep me busy - but she keeps asking when she's going to have a brother or sister like all her friends - and that pressure is unbearable when I look at her little face!

Is there hope after 5 miscarriages ? Does anyone have a similar story with a happy ending??
I know I'm so lucky to have my daughter but how do you deal with this repeated loss and trauma of miscarriages??

Thank you to anyone who can give me hope!

Hi all, so sorry to hear about your losses :( The wife of a colleague of mine had similar experiences of many MC before 12 weeks. She had all the usual tests done, and nothing was found. She was tested for NK cells at the ARGC in London and it was found that they were very high - this, along with a clotting disorder, were treated and they now have a beautiful baby girl. I know that investigating NK cells isn't a panacea, but after reading 'is your body baby friendly' it does seem to make some sense. However, very few doctors 'believe' in them, so sadly you need to be able to afford private testing to have it looked into.

I really hope that you all get the babies that you so clearly deserve - I wish you all the strength that you need to continue on this difficult journey. :(

Hi Choccy

I was sorry to read about your miscarriages - I too have had 5 miscarriages and just don't know what to do next.

However, as I can't conceive naturally I have to rely on IVF treatment which costs a fortune plus I'm totally shattered by it but I just don't want to give up. I keep hoping and praying that this time it will work but the same pattern falls and I lose it. I've had all the standard NHS investigations and everything appeared normal. I'm doing my own investigations as my Doctors can't help me more.

But at least you have your daughter - I don't have any and have been trying constantly since I got married without success. Its heartbreaking and at every IVF failure I can't describe how upset I get. Life is so unfair; you have these women who have no problem at all - and here women like us have to struggle.

I can't offer any hope or guidance but I hope you achieve your dream soon.

Take care
Ruby x

Hi everyone,

I have to say I came on here to search for a bit of hope too but reading through all those posts has made me nervous that I will continue to mc too! I had 3 mc's before having my ds 20 months ago. I took it for granted that I wouldn't have any problems since my baby-making gear had been given a successful test-drive. Even the doctors told me they were confused since it is "unusual to have another mc after having a baby". But in August I lost another and it was the most painful so far. I had distinct contractions as my body rejected the baby and had to go to the hospital as I lost too much in one go. Being on entonox in the ambulance only made the loss more difficult since I'd had entonox during labour with my ds. I always seem to punish myself badly at first, and then my dh gets it in the neck as I blame him for still smoking (though he was only on 1 or 2 per day to be fair). People (general public, family and medics alike) just don't get it. Because it happens within the first 3 months it's like it doesn't count. And I don't know how many times I've heard the line "most women don't even know they've had a mc because they wouldn't have known they were pg if it weren't for the tests". Drives me bonkers. No woman would miss 2 periods and still think they were NOT pg so that statement is bs! Every pg is a baby, especially to ladies like us. And the further the pg goes, the higher your hopes fly and the harder you fall. And I just can't help getting so excited when I see the positive light up on the test - guess that'd make me a lemming!

Having my ds makes things easier but it doesn't take away the pain of mc. Some people say you should be grateful of what you have but the emptiness I feel now is only a different kind of emptiness I felt before having ds.

I hope with all my heart that all of you ladies have a happy ending. We all deserve it because we want these babies so much. (which leads me to add how frustrating I find it that I have to walk through a line of 9 month pg women smoking outside the hospital to see medics about my latest mc - why do they (medics and smoking mums alike) put us through such torment?????)

xxx

samnbaby, very sorry for your losses, and especially the most recent one. Recognise lots of your feelings.

I think your doctors are talking rubbish to be honest! I heard a lot of the same crap from GPs and some hospital doctors, and specialist miscarriage doctors don't say those things. Sadly just because we have had a healthy baby it doesn't mean there will be no further problems. Given your history of 3 m/c in a row before your DS would they refer you for investigations?

My DD2 is now a year old and I'm immensely grateful, but will never forget the fear, pain, ongoing anxiety and questioning whether DD1 would ever have a sibling. It was really, really hard.

Just heard Dr Quenby, an expert doctor, saying on the radio that even after many miscarriages there is still a very good chance of having a baby. Hang in there and really hope things look up for you very soon.

Try not to be angry with your DH, don't think a couple of fags a day will make much difference and he's under stress too. My DH hid a lot of his hurt from me at the time because he could tell i was struggling, but it was hard for him too.

I tried to make my DH give up cycling, but the doctors said it was unlikely to be an issue (since he'd got me pregnant so many times he must have good sperm!)

Hi I see this is an old thread. I'm not sure how to start a new one?
I've had 4 losses and wanted some hope stories too? Thanks

Hi I just wanted to say I've just joined this site as I have also just had my 4th mc hope I will be a success story one day, what's your plan of action I'm now waiting for rmc appointment and tests xx

I had 4 miscarriages, all before 8 weeks, over a year. Then we stopped conceiving for 2 years, nothing happened. We decided to do IVF and egg batching because of my age but the first round was cancelled as only one egg grew. I felt we had reached the end of the road. The next month I fell pregnant naturally and this one has stuck and am now 12 weeks and 5 days and everything looks good. I am a month away from my 45th birthday. There is hope!

I want to write on these forums as I used them so much so feel I need to give back!! I first got pregnant when I was 30 very easily but sadly had a miscarriage at 8 weeks. Horrendous and painful natural miscarriage. I was then pregnant and miscarried at least four more times before 6 weeks over the next two years. It was devastating and I poured over forums like this looking for inspiration. I was so stressed at work, everyone was having kids and I felt really lost, guilty and sad. My GP was crap because I was under 35 so we used my grandparents inheritance money to try private IVF. They couldn't find anything wrong (other than I knew I had mild PCOS and irregular periods) so my consultant told me to go ahead with IVF as best chance of getting pregnant and why bother wasting more money on tests. First round failed, second frozen cycle died but on the second round I had one super blastocyst and a few crap ones. They reluctantly put two in (I'm very small!) and one stuck! I'm now sitting here listening to my nearly-two year old chatting himself to sleep and holding my belly as I'm 18 weeks pregnant again...completely naturally and surprising this time! I think my body was so messed up hormone wise from all the miscarriages and just couldn't cope. Plus the stress is awful. My advice is seek help, don't be afraid to ask for time off work to relax and get perspective. I also tried reflexology during my IVF which I loved as it was so relaxing (I had tried Accupuncture before but I found someone sticking pins in me and then being paid to sit and watch was a waste of money!!). My husband used to say "but if in two years you were pregnant, you'd take that" - I always wanted to be pregnant that month and that minute but he was right, be patient and have hope and you'll be lucky like us.

I know this is a very old thread but I just wanted to give you and hope ladies - an acquaintance of mine went on to have a beautiful girl after 11 miscarriages... no idea where she got the strength from as it still breaks me to think of my one loss. But there is hope.