Anyone who had an ERPC, how long afterwards did you have sex?

[musicposy]

I'm sorry if this is asking a waaay too personal question or giving TMI!

I had an ERPC after mmc 3 weeks ago. The leaflet the hosp gave me said don't have sex for 6 weeks. I questioned this with GP because it seemed a very long time and he said he thought it may be because of infection risk and it ought to be OK with a condom once the bleeding stopped. (Gritting teeth at the condom because I really want to try again although common sense tells me it is too soon, so we dutifully went out and got some)

Anyhow, last week after about 2 weeks (warning: TMI coming up!) I thought I'd give it a go, so to speak, especially as we haven't done it in a very long time because pg had been complicated by IVF treatment, suspected ectopic and early spotting.

It was a disaster. Something inside was very sore and it hurt quite a lot so we gave up. DH was very nice and said he thought I was maybe being a bit ambitious a bit soon, and so we haven't tried since. I know the ERPC maybe pulls you about more than you realise because they have to dilate the cervix.

Also, the condom was a bit of a shock after no contraception for 8 years - wondering how I ever put up with them! Did other people get told they had to wait 6 weeks? I don't want to do anything stupid but I hear of people falling pregnant again pretty soon so they probably weren't using condoms

So, I was wondering if anyone else had found sex had hurt initially and how long it had taken people. I really would like to start feeling a bit more normal and I think it would be good for us after such a long abstinence. But I don't want to do more harm to myself than good, especially as I'm still a bit emotionally all over the place.

The leaflet I was given after my last erpc said at least two weeks after op.
So we waited just a little over 3 weeks, was bleeding for about 17 days, sex was ok, a little bit of discomfort but not painful.
Sorry to hear about your mc.

I was advised to avoid sex until bleeding stopped & to try not to get pregnant in the first month.
Haven't attempted intercourse yet, but still having very light spotting. Feel a little worried about the whole thing tbh.

I wasn't told 6 weeks - something in the leaflet about 'when the bleeding has eased off'... First ERPC I think we had sex about a week afterwards - didn't use a condom - and it was fine but 'emotional'.

Second ERPC - tried again 3 days later (yes, I know - but we had a rare weekend alone!) Used a condom because I think I read it somewhere online - anyway, it was bloody sore! I felt like my cervix was being bashed to bits, and spotting - which had pretty much finished - resumed and continues... (now a week later)

I was told to wait 6 weeks - I also miscarried 3 weeks ago and had an ERPC, I was 18 weeks pregnant. I don't feel ready to try sex yet anyway, only just stopped bleeding.

Hi Music,

Sorry to hear about your mmc and hope you are getting lots of hugs in RL.

I was told to wait until the bleeding stopped before having sex, so resumed 2 weeks post ERPC. We didn't bother with contraception, they do say wait for one period but they told me that was for dating purposes if you did get pregnant again (I didn't though!).

It was sore, I'm not sure if that's also because it was "emotional" like one of the other posters said so I might not have been as relaxed as normal. And also your body has been through the mill a bit.

I guess what I'm saying is, it's tough and miscarriage is utter pants and it sounds like you've been through a lot, so thinking of you because I know it's a difficult time, and I totally understand that feeling of wanting to get back to normal. I don't think you'll be doing damage as such, but I guess it could be sore for a bit so take it easy on yourself.

Hope things get more like normal soon.

Thanks for all your replies.

I think it was a bit soon before, as things seem almost fine now. Still slightly sore if I am not careful, but much, much better.

The 6 week wait seemed particularly cautious when, at the 6 week check after DD2 was born, the doc asked me if I had had sex yet and then asked me why not when I said no! (I was pretty cross and asked him if he thought he'd be doing it before 6 weeks if he'd had his private parts torn and stitched up to his earholes. He went very quiet!)

So I couldn't understand why it needed to be so long. I've ditched the condoms too but at 43 I don't want to leave it months and then regret it....

Thanks again for the comments, they were useful.

I spoke to the doctor about this today, musicposy, and her answer was that as soon as bleeding has stopped & you are feeling ok down there, then it is fine to have sex. She said the 6 week thing was for after having a baby, and it is recommended you wait 6 weeks before TTC after miscarriage, but sex alone is fine as soon as bleeding stops.

Wow, someone who has got some decent advice out of their doc! I wonder why the leaflet the hosp gave me (which was for ERPC, I think, but I guess could have been d&c generally) said 6 weeks. My GP didn't seem to really know!

Bleeding stopped after about 8 days (I think I was pretty lucky there!) so it sounds like it is all OK, then. Thanks