Blighted Ovum Miscarriage - what to expect?

[NBelle]

Morning

Unfortunately on Friday at what should have been a 8w+2d scan we found out there was an empty sac and no baby. We were then given the option to miscarry naturally or take some suppositories to bring on a miscarriage, I didn't want to wait what could be weeks so went for the medical option.

I took these at 12pm on Friday and about 7pm i started bleeding, had some cramps during the night but blood flow has not been too heavy, more brown and just like a slightly heavier period. On Saturday afternoon i passed quite a big clump which I guess was the sac but other than that i have been pain free and am worried that things are not running their natural course. The doctor did say it is different from woman to woman in that they might have a heavy or light bleed with pain or no pian but I would appreciate some real life experiences from people who have actaully been through it.

With regard to the mental aspect of it I am of course heart broken but mostly feel cheated as I was having loads of symptoms like nausea, sickness, sore boobs, constipation, nose bleeds and was very tired but it was all for nothing. It took us two years to get here and the pregnancy was the result of our first IVF attempt, so it's not even as if we can just get right back to ttc as we have to get back into the IVF again.

Trying to think positive, like firstly it was natures way of saying that this baby was just not meant to be and that we did manage to get pregnant, the issues with concieving seems to be that my DH has slow swimmers.

Have spent the weekend eating all the things your not supposed to when pregnant and had quite a few large glasses of wine too. Just need to look to the future and hope that we get there soon.

Sorry for this big ramble but feeling better to have written this all down, my DH has been great and really supportive but other than that I had only told my boss (thankfully one of the nicest people I know) and a friend about the pregnancy and now the miscarriage but right now i don't want to tell other poeple. I am quite a private person but also right now I don't see the point of telling people as it is a very sad thing for them to know and what can they say or do to make it better? I might change my mind in the coming weeks, I just don't know.

Rant over.

[randomimposter]

so sorry for what you're going through.... have had 2MMCs myself, and i understand many of the emotions you express.

I'm also very private, but have found that telling some people has helped me. It's not a secret, it's a grief that you should be allowed to work through.

I also did a lot of pate, gruyere and white wine. That helped .

Hope if you decide to TTC again you get a luckier journey next time.

Take care of yourself, it's still very early days.

[LadyBee]

oh NBelle, I'm so sorry - you were on the same antenatal thread as me, weren't you? I completely understand what you mean about feeling cheated by having all the symptoms for nothing. It does feel to me that it will be very difficult to have any sense of confidence in my body after this.
And I'm just gutted on your behalf that it happened to you on IVF, it just seems so incredibly unfair that you had to go through so much in the first place to get pregnant, for it to not work at this stage, there's not much more to say about that than it's f*&ked up.

Did you have friends who knew you were having IVF? I honestly do recommend talking about with someone you can trust, it's hard to contemplate collapsing emotionally in front of someone, especially if you're a private person. But actually the times I've spoken to my friends I've not cried (or not much), and it's helped enormously to just describe what you've been through in the last few days. It's such a whirlwind when it happens, it can hard to 'process' (sorry, can't think of a better word).

As for the actual experience, I had ERPC, so I don't know how similar things will be. But for the first day after I had it, the bleeding was very light and I had no pain. The last day or so the bleeding has continued, there have been a few cramps and it's sort day-3 of a period kind of flow.

If you're really worried it isn't working, you could call the EPU to discuss it with a nurse? And do you have any follow-up appointments?

[meatntattypie]

Hi,Not sure if it will help but i will tell you my experience of this.
I have had 3 of these.
1st time i chose to wait it out. Knew at 7 weeks about blighted ovum, had bleeding but didnt actually lose it till i was 13 weeks.
Wait was awful, just awful.

2nd & 3rd time i had the tablets & suppositories. Was over in about 12 hours.

I agree 100% about the feeling cheated becuase yes, you do have all the normal pregnancy symptoms, for nothing.
So very sorry that you are going through this, i feel so bad for you. Its shite.

[NBelle]

Thanks for the replies ladies

Think I am most upset about being back to square one with the IVF, all the effort and time to get the BFP and then the high from getting the positive for it all just to be gone. There are times in life that swearing was invented for, this is one of them F**K SAKE!!!!

I am an expat living in Norway with my Norwegian husband so all close family and friends are back in Scotland. They know we are having IVF but don't know the time scale. I said i would tell them when we had something to tell and they are happy with that. I have a few poeple i can talk to hear and one in particualr who has had fertility issues, so if i feel like confiding in someone I have her.

Ladybee how are you doing? Yes I was on the November bus.

meatntattypie you are making me miss home with your name, I want a pie now Yesterday I made proper home made fish and chips, just wanted some comfort food.

We will phone the fertility clinic tomorrow to find out what the next step is but I guess it will be another 6 - 8 weeks before we can try again. We do have two eggs in the freezer....maybe twins next time.

Just going to use this time in between to lose a bit of weight. I need to lose about 2 stone to get down to my ideal weight and with the light nights and nice weather, excercise is not such a chore. We are also working on our house and we can now paint the wood work since we don't have to worry about the fumes.

Certainly want to get straight back on the TTC horse.

Thanks again

[LadyBee]

NBelle, you may want to take a look at this thread for support starting TTC again after the miscarriage.

I'm ok-ish, physically I'm doing well, emotionally I'm still a bit all over the place and I expect that will continue for a while, there are so many small little thoughts and wishes that get made when you discover you're pregnant and peeling those away is painful and surprising.

Good luck with it all, and again, I'm really sorry you're going through this.

[Tads]

I am so, so sorry you went through this after IVF. Sometimes mother nature can be desperately unfair.

I have had a blighted ovum. Found out at the 12 week scan and it was horrifying. I opted for the natural route and would never do it again. Had a week of perfectly manageable blood loss before the contraction pain kicked in and the bleeding got ever so slightly ridiculous. I suppose the one upside to this horrible experience is that, if you've passed the sac, you've probably got through the worst bit and I'm glad it was pain free. Nature owes you at least one small kindness. Mine was very painful, but I didn't take the tablets and it would seem we are all very different from everything I've read on this site. Just look after yourself and be wary if you feel poorly or get a temperature, as these are obviously signs of infection.

I too had full blown pregnancy symptoms all the way through. In hindsight, I felt different in the 3 weeks prior to the loss. However, the nausea continued right to the end. Much like you, I had a pate, blue cheese and wine fest as soon as I found out. Didn't make me feel any better, but it gave me a bit of control and rebellious comfort.

I found I coped fine during the miscarriage but lost it a bit in the weeks and months following it. I think we are expected to just get on with it and recover once it's over, but the grief is there and continues to drop in unannounced every so often. You may well not want to talk to anyone, or you might just want to come online for a hand hold every so often. Either way, a site like this is great for unloading every once in a while.

I am so sorry again for your loss and am hoping you feel stronger soon. Best of luck with the weight loss. I'm doing the same and have found it does help to take charge of your life and give it a different focus. x

[NBelle]

Thanks for the link Ladybee

Feeling a bit better today, was in two minds whether to go to work or not but decided to go to keep myself busy. My boss knows and said I could go home if i needed. Glad I did.

Although Tads I feel like i may be like you and it will hit me later, still feels a little unreal.

Phoned the fertility clininc today and they are sending out some more info about our next attempt so just waiting for my next cycle, whenever that may be.

My poor DH had a bad day today, I think he spent all weekend trying to be cheery for me that when he called the clininc today (language thing) it hut home so he called me in tears, which then set me off but we just talked it through, he also has someone at work who went through IVF many years ago who is offering him support.

Right i think i will jump over to the other thread.