Pregnant after miscarriage and struggling with second trimester

[megonthemoon]

I had a mc in November at 6 weeks. Got pregnant within a few weeks and am now 14 weeks, due in mid Sept . Found the first trimester scary but at least had the same symptoms as with DS - nausea, exhaustion, insomnia, weird dreams etc. - so knew something was going on. I had the scan at 12 weeks and there is a baby in there, heart beating and limbs waving

I thought that would be it and that I'd be able to lay the ghosts of my miscarriage to rest, knowing that I had got as far as 12 weeks with a so-far health baby and hence the chances of anything going wrong were very small. But actually now my symptoms have subsided so I feel completely non-pregnant (exactly as happened with DS), but I have no bump or movement to show for it. So I'm actually finding this no man's land of the early second trimester really really hard. I wake every morning convinced that I'm going to start cramping and lose the baby or something.

I know that chances are everything is fine this time round as a heartbeat at 12 weeks is a good sign, and I know that in the next month I'll start to get a bump and maybe start to feel the baby move. But any advice on how to cope in the meantime? Or do I just accept that the whole rest of the pregnancy will be fraught with worry?

Hi Meg,

Didn't want your post to go unanswered, but at same time I don't have any advice, I can imagine it's really scary though (I have had mc but no baby yet). I do know though that there is a thread in pregnancy for ladies who have miscarried and are now pregnant, and I bet they know some stuff - here is the
link

Hope that helps, and good luck with your pregnancy, hope it all goes smoothly,

xxxxxxx

Hi meg - You are not alone. I've had 4 mc's before and am currently 10+4, and crazy nervous!

I'm just taking one day at a time. I think you must be more positive...I keep telling myself that once I make it to my 12-week scan, I'll be home free after that...I realize that the chances of anything happening after that are VERY slim...

So, please, enjoy yourself! And if it helps, maybe get a fetal doppler.

Thank you ladies. Goodluckbear - I'll go and check out the thread you mention.

I did think about the doppler, Daynee, but heard that sometimes it can be hard to find the baby's heartbeat if it has turned its back or something and thought that would probably just freak me out more!!!

You're right though - I've had the scan and I do need to chill out as the chance of me losing the baby now are much smaller than they were just a few weeks ago. I guess I just expected to be completely 'home free' and able to just be excited once I'd had the scan but I forgot how unnerving this quiet period between symptoms subsiding and bump/movements appearing can be!

Best of luck to you. I hope your scan goes well. It was a lovely lovely feeling seeing a heart beating, and I need to remember that - hope you get that soon enough too

meg, with my second pregnancy (1st was a MC at 7 weeks), I couldn't really let myself believe it was going to carry on until the 20 week scan. I was suffering pretty badly with antenatal depression though. People kept saying my hyperemesis was a 'good sign' but most of pregnancy just felt ill and hated being pregnant, then felt guilty for hating it because I'd wanted it so much!

TBH, my worries about DS didn't decrease significantly until he was out! The MC was on my mind a lot as the due date came and went. It was weird to be mourning one pregnancy, yet knowing the 2nd pregnancy wouldn't exist if the 1st had continued. I still think about it sometimes now (DS is nearly 7 months).

Wish I had some better advice, but all I could to was just try not to think about it. I got so excited with 1st pregnancy and was scared to get excited again.

I didn't come to terms with DD2's pg after a mmc until I heard her heartbeat at 16 weeks. Then I actually acknowledged to myself that this might actually happen and I relaxed. I've no advice, but it will come, meg.

I'm currently 31 weeks pregnant with DS2 after losing DS1 at 22 weeks. I went for counselling after losing DS1 & discussed my concerns about being anxious about being pregnant again. The midwife / counseller was very helpful and pretty much said I would be anxious until I can hold my DS2 in my arms. I've had 5 scans so far & I'm due another at 36 weeks but still get worried that something might go wrong. Think you just have to try and stay positive but realise you probably will have bad days as well as good.