3 miscarriages, fiance wants to try again

[Dreamfastgelfling]

Hello Mumsnet talkers

I'm 23 years old and I've had three miscarriages. The last one only being a few weeks ago. We're heartbroken. After going to A&E 3 times, because of bleeding everything was fine, we found out the baby was fine, saw that little heartbeat on screen, but a week later i lost the baby. my fiance and i are heart broken, he wants to try again, but i'm nervous.

my first two miscarriages where with another partner, one being natural and the other was lets just say he wasn't the nicest of men and violence isn't the easiest way to carry a child. but this last one was conceived with love.

I'm going through tests currently, I went to see gynae the other day but have to have an investigation because my cervix looks a little red. He wants to try again soon, I'm very nervous about this, as well as the miscarriages and such, i'm diabetic, just started on metformin to get my blood sugar down so i can try again but it doesn't make me feel any better. Does anyone have any advice, i keep reading that baby asprin helps, and i've been told to see if i have a low vitamin k in my system. I just need someone to talk to, i've felt so alone, my partners been fantastic but he can't understand my pain.

how do i get through this when i'm told to just get over it, i can try again?

[mollybob]

there are those who suggest going for it straight away but I would say you should give it time. I had a miscarriage last April and was exhausted afterwards and decided we would give it 6 months to give me adequate recovery time. There is no need to rush.

[GlastonburyGoddess]

sorry for your losses. Dont lose heart though, several mc does not mean your'll never have children. We had 4 mc before having ds1 when we were 19. we had numerous blood tests and I had scans and then a hysteroscopy(sp) to see what was going on inside. interestingly they found nothing other than pco and I conceived shortly after the procedure.A word of warning though, if they offer you this option ask for a GA. I was on a ward with 10 other women who had the same thing done and was the only one given a LA and it hurt like hell

I think you need to be the one to decide when to start trying again. A pg loss is a loss whatever stage you are at, and it hurts.from the day you pee on that stick you are thinking about that little one and planning stuff etc and then for it to be whipped away so quickly is so cruel and its horrible. you need your partner to aknowledge that youve lost a baby, not just had a period. if you feel ready Id say try again straight away but contemplate giving yourself a little more time to recover from whats happended. gd luck x

[Dreamfastgelfling]

Thank you for all your kind words, it is nice to know there are people who aren't afraid to shy away from talking about whats happened.

Me and my fiance have talked about it, we've been talking for about a week. We're going to wait til june/july time, and try again. I have a few tests first, and i have to try and get my blood sugar to a regular level, not that its really high but we're trying to keep it level.

Luckily we've also talked about the wedding. And his mum was right we should have the wedding we want, and because of our loss we decided that we're going abroad, to get married in central park in new york. But we want a family first, we're both very excited about doing that and are looking at date for 2012-2013 to get enough money to do so!

Thank you. This site has helped me, I needed to talk about this with people who have been through this too, everyone i talk to have never been through this, and just tell you to get over it.