AIBU to be annoyed with the doctor?

[ElmMum]

Apologies in advance for long winded story but just really need to get this off my chest.

At 10 weeks pregnant, I started to bleed on Sunday afternoon. Went to the out of hours doctor who did a pregnancy test (positive) and booked me a scan at EPC for this morning (Wed am). Couldn't get one any earlier because I wasn't in pain or bleeding heavily.

Bleeding continued at same rate til 4am on Tuesday morning when I started getting painful cramps and at 6am when I coughed, I felt a whole lot of 'stuff' slide out of me. So, miscarriage obviously definitely started.

For a couple of hours I bled heavily and passed lots of (seeming) large clots. Didn't want to look too closely.

Continued to bleed fairly heavily with small clots til now.

Went in for scan this morning which confirmed no sac or heartbeat visible but still some 'products of conception' to come out.

Then went in to see the doctor who completely confused the whole thing by saying he would prescribe pain relief (as I'd chosen to continue to let nature take its course) but wouldn't prescribe diclofenic because it's not prescribed in pregnancy....

To which I replied, 'but I'm not pregnant. I've had a miscarriage' and he said, 'yes, but you know, just in case'...

'Just in case what? Are you saying there is a doubt in your mind that the baby could be alive?'

'No, no. I just don't like to prescribe diclofenic in pregnancy.'

And so we went on.

Then, when I quizzed him about how much tissue I still had inside, he wouldn't make any guess at whether it was the majority still to come or whether the majority had already been passed, and implied that what was left was probably fetus.

Left thoroughly distressed, having been handling it all quite well til then. Went and saw the nurse again who was able to reassure us that there was definitely no viable pregnancy in my womb so diclofenic was definitely fine to take. And also that what was left inside would probably pass out like a heavy period with clots, was substantially less than I'd already passed, and that there was no danger that I was going to see a fetus.

WHY COULDN'T THE DOCTOR HAVE SAID THAT????

I feel worse now than when I went in.

Oh, and I can't help but feel that if they'd scanned me on the Sunday evening or first thing Monday - before I started to miscarry properly - there might have been a chance of knowing why I miscarried.

i.e. they might have been able to tell if it was a molar pregnancy or whether there was actually a fetus that had just stopped growing. As it is, now I don't know although when I asked this, they seemed to think there was obviously a fetus even though when I asked they said they couldn't see one.

Basically, as usual whenever I have any contact with the medical profession, I'm left with more questions that I went in with.

No, you're not being unreasonable at all. A scan well before now is not a lot to ask for and your doctor's comments are idiotic. You may never have found out what went wrong - I think we all search for that definitive reason, but now you will always have that doubt in the back of your mind. It may be worthwhile feeding back to them later if you can face doing that.

Hope you get through this ok and have someone there looking after you.

So sorry. No you are not BU. What an arse of a doctor. MC is such a distressing thing and he could have saved you from all of that.

Oh I'm so sorry

Doctor probably didn't see your scan so was erring on the side of caution but that doesn't help does it?

+++may be tmi from here on in++++

I think the only reason they were able to tell me when my foetus had stopped growing was because it was a missed miscarriage - it had stopped growing at 8 weeks but I didn't miscarry until 14 weeks. I'm not sure it makes a huge amount of difference really - I passed more than one big clot (like I said on your other thread I think) because so much of it is the materials over and above the actual foetus. They should be able to tell you if it was a molar pregnancy or not I think - but you will have to go back so you can talk then.

I think the best thing for me was just not to look. My baby had died and what was going down the loo was neither here nor there.

I am so sorry for your loss

I am sorry for your loss.