Please or to access all these features

Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

Find support and share your experiences on our Miscarriage forum. See also legal rights and support after baby loss.

Husband doesn't want to try again

5 replies

MissiG · 26/02/2010 14:55

Help! My DH has just announced that he doesn't want another child. I miscarried my second pregnancy at 12 weeks (5 weeks ago). I'm gutted. He said the pregnancy showed him he was 'ambivalent' about having another child. I feel so angry, I can't speak to him and it's awful. I don't know how we ended up here. I had my period last week and I thought we'd start trying again fairly soon - but he doesn't want to... He said he might be persuaded but I don't think you can persuade someone into having a child - it's too big a responsibility and both people should be happy to do it.... ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh it's not fair. In the first few weeks we were a team and now I feel like we're on different sides and I can't even look at him without feeling like my heart's being ripped out....

OP posts:
mumatron · 26/02/2010 15:55

sorry you are going through this missy

do you think its just because he is scared of it happening again?

after my 2nd i swore i would never put myself through it again. once i had got it over it a bit physically i changed my mind.

you both need to sit own and be totally honest with each other.

hope you work things out.

xx

onlygirl · 26/02/2010 19:04

I am in this exact situation with my DH.I had erpc on 1st feb. I want to talk to him about things but I feel Icant keep bringing it up although I would like to. I would love for him to just say to me one day "I think its about time we tried again" probably wont happen though.

Hope you work things out too x

thisisyesterday · 26/02/2010 19:09

i agree with mumatron. maybe he just isn't ready right now.

you need to find a time when you are both calm, and can talk sensibly about it. him telling you exactly why he doesn't want to try right now, and you being able to tell him just how that makes you feel.

it may be that in a couple of months he will feel ready again, but don't underestimate the effect a miscarriage can have on your partner.

you have my sympathies because it's an awful place to be in (been there myself)

MissiG · 26/02/2010 19:56

Thank you. I'm not sure where we go from here but I do know I want us to be together so that's a start! Onlygirl I saw your thread after I'd posted mine and commented on it... wish the same.

OP posts:
mumatron · 26/02/2010 22:18

well, thats a starting point isnt it.

before i met my dp i was adament i was never having anymore dc. as dp didnt have any of his own, he came to terms with it. after 2 years together i had a complete change of heart and now cant think of anything i want more. give him some time and keep communicating with him.

hope you work through this.

xx

New posts on this thread. Refresh page