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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

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Original poster

Nervously waiting for EPU appointment...

17 replies

lapislazuli · 23/02/2010 09:06

I'm off work sitting and waiting impatiently not knowing what to do with myself until I go to my appointment later and really need to chat to someone but who to call...
Am 11 wks pregnant, noticed a light and browny discharge on Sunday which has now turned to dark red and clotty and I am not hopeful any more. Don't have any pain though.
I knew something was odd though about this pregnancy though because I've had not had nausea or fatigue at all and just haven't been feeling pregnant iykwim.
Anyway am not going to ring anyone until I know for sure, but it's terrible seeing as we've pretty much told everyone, which now with hindsight seems a bit premature. Oh well, too late now.

OP posts:
CMOTdibbler · 23/02/2010 09:10

So sorry that you are in this terrible wait. IME, it's actually better to have told people you were pg, then tell them about a mc, than to just have to tell them about a mc anyway

What time is your appointment ?

Original poster
lapislazuli · 23/02/2010 09:18

It's at 3pm. I know what you mean but if I hadn't told anyone about the pregnancy, hardly anybody would need to know about the mc...actually I don't know, it's not something you think about til you've been there.
Have to drop off DS at my MIL's later so will have to pretend it's just a routine appointment as I can't face telling her anything yet. God I hate to lie or cover things up.

OP posts:
CMOTdibbler · 23/02/2010 09:28

Well, I had to tell people about the mcs really as I was obv upset each time - hard to find a reason for bursting into tears in the office, or wanting to avoid children.

It's so hard to put a cheery face on too

Original poster
lapislazuli · 23/02/2010 09:33

Oh god you're right, I'm sorry, it sounds like you've been through a terrible time.
I think this going to be much harder than I thought it would be.

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AnAngelWithin · 23/02/2010 09:39

thinking of you. Its not always bad news. I've had this with my last 2 pregnancies and they have turned out ok. Will be thinking of you and got everything crossed for you x

Original poster
lapislazuli · 23/02/2010 09:46

Thank you Angel, that gives me real hope to hear that. Fingers well and truly crossed.

OP posts:
Original poster
lapislazuli · 23/02/2010 17:56

Well I'm back from my appt, and they confirmed what I already knew really. No heartbeat. I'm numb right now, can't talk. They said the foetus is almost half the size of its expected size at 11 weeks. I can't believe this is happening. I need to digest this properly, my poor baby. Not sure why I'm posting this.

OP posts:
daisytaylor · 23/02/2010 18:42

So so sorry to hear of your sad news today, i have been there a few times myself and i know that nothing anyone says to you will make you feel any better but if you need to vent your emotions then we are all here for you on mumsnet. I don't know what i would of done without the support on here during my last mmc. Thinking of you x

AnAngelWithin · 23/02/2010 19:30

i am so sorry for your loss. I hope my post didn't give you false hope Was just trying to stay positive for you. Stay strong. I have been where you are too many times, give yourself time x x

Gi1da · 23/02/2010 19:39

I'm so very sorry. I hope you have someone looking after you at home, and you have support here too whenever you need it x

CMOTdibbler · 23/02/2010 20:37

Oh Lapis, I am so, so, sorry to hear that. Be kind to yourself in the coming days and weeks

liahgen66 · 23/02/2010 20:40

lapis I am so sorry for your loss

If you would like to come over to us

here

We are all in the same boat. I myself am 4 wks post mmc at the same stage as you. It's shit to be honest and noone can give you the answers you want and need.

I hope you have someone with you in rl to givwe you and your partner some support.

Take as much time as you need to sort your head out before you decide what to do.

xxkt1xx · 23/02/2010 22:35

(((hugs)))

Original poster
lapislazuli · 24/02/2010 10:33

Thank you everyone for your kind messages. Angel, no of course I don't think of it as false hope, you were right that it could have gone either way even though my instincts were telling me it wasn't going to have a happy ending anyway.
I've just booked myself in for an ERPC tomorrow as I'm sure like many women, I just want the physical side of it over and done with as soon as possible so I can deal with the emotional bit in my own time.
One good thing though, I get to spend time with DS who's more than a comfort to me at the moment

OP posts:
xxkt1xx · 10/03/2010 18:21

hi just wanted to know how the erpc went and hope that you are feeling a little better xx

Original poster
lapislazuli · 10/03/2010 21:02

Hi KT, thanks for your concern, you're very sweet. The ERPC was fine, apart from the fact it was meant to be in and out on the same day and I ended up staying in hospital overnight because it took so long to find a slot for me. The actual op went fine and luckily I had no pain whatsoever and spent a few days at home before deciding to go back to work, which was a good decision.
I'm back to my busy routine now so don't get much time to think about it much to be honest, apart from the odd fleeting thought but maybe that's a good thing rather than brooding over it but it'll always be with me forever and I'll never forget the little one I lost.

OP posts:
xxkt1xx · 10/03/2010 22:48

no i agree you never do x mines been 4 years now and although its easier you still think about little one x glad that you are busy as yes it does help loads x i had 2 other children to keep me sane (or insane lol) good luck in the future and i hope all goes well for you xxx

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