Dh has said no to trying again!

[onlygirl]

Really feel like I hate him right now.
Our circumstances haven't changed since my mmc. He never even gave me a reason apart from "I dont think I could go through that again" I know I sound like a complete cow but I went to all the dr and hospital apps on my own, The scan where I found out i'd miscarried I was on my own. Had to go for erpc on my own(he picked me up after). yes it has broke our hearts but if I can try again why cant he?

Why did you go to all appts on you own?

It will have affected him too, women are not the only ones affected by m/c, although not the same way of course.

He may just need time but ultimatly you can't force someone to have a child. SOrry xx

You don't sound like a complete cow at all.

On the contrary, it is extremely unpleasant of him to be talking about how he "couldn't go through it again" when really YOU were the person who went through it and it might mean everything to you to have the chance to try again.

My DH said exactly the same in the immediate aftermath. I was, of course, totally hormonal and devasted by his attitude. But with time he came round and 18 months later our DD2 was born.

I reckon the hardest part of the experience for both of us was the feeling that we had no control over the events. Nature took its course and nothing either of us, or the Doctors, could do could prevent it. A man does not have hormones screaming at him to 'try again' - he has to summon up the courage to tempt fate in cold blood as it were. It takes time.

Sorry about all the cliches!

I'm just wondering now if it's worth sitting and talking everything through with him but i dont want him to feel like im putting pressure on or anything. It was hard for us both. And im sounding really selfish.

You don't sound as selfish as him.

sorry for your loss, og

I would recommend leaving it a couple of months and then talking to him again

A bit of time will help to heal you both, stop the merry-go-round for a while and I bet you find he is more reasonable then

good luck x

I am in the same position as you, I too have been told 'NO' to having another or even trying. It has been just over 3 weeks since I had my mmc and even though it is still very raw for me I know that the feeling for another will not go away as I have wanted for so long and time is not a friend of mine (my age).

It is all very hard and I know you feel like he is playing god with you by deciding that's it but please don't feel selfish about your feelings. I hope things work out for you

Thank you all x maybe waiting a bit will be better.

ohmygod. I just posted about my husband saying no to trying again and then found your message. It was the same for me, ended up going for the scan on my own and finding out I'd miscarried at 12 weeks, 5 weeks on he's just told me he doesn't want any more children (we have a DD). I'm so angry, I can't look at him without wanting to scream and cry. I feel so cheated, he was my best friend and now I feel like I don't even know him. Like Loppydoopy time is not my friend and I feel like I'm grieving for the baby I lost and the life I could have had - would we have been having this conversation if I hadn't miscarried? I doubt it. I'm so mad.

MissiG I can completely understand how angry you feel. We too have one DD together and even though he tells me he loves children he can still turn round and say this.

I really thought I knew him but after everything I feel that I don't

I hope things work out, good luck, fingers crossed and everything xx