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Find support and share your experiences on our Miscarriage forum.

Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

1st miscarriage, absolutely gutted.

10 replies

onlygirl · 26/01/2010 16:12

Was having a few painds and slight discharge so I was sent for a scan yesterday. Scan showed i was 13 weeks but the baby had died at 9. I thought i would be able to wait for things to pass naturally but I cant so I have been booked in for monday. Im scared and nervous DH has been fantastic. Am I wrong to carry on with work? I know people wont know what to say to me and i dont know that im not going to cry. What would you do?

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CMOTdibbler · 26/01/2010 16:15

I'm so sorry for your loss. TBH, I'd hide under the duvet and eat chocolate this week - I know that I wouldn't have wanted to be at work between scan and ERPC - either I'd have cried or shouted at people.

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pud1 · 26/01/2010 16:16

i had the same experiance with no heartbeat at scan and having a d and c. i would do what ever you like, no one knows what it feels like untill its happened to them. my d and c went well and i hardly had any pain. this was all 3 years ago and i did have a second miscarraige but i have 2 dd's now. there will be light at the end of your tunnel and it will be all the brighter for all your experiance

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sh77 · 26/01/2010 17:17

Hey
So sorry for what you are going through. I miscarried in Nov. I opted for an ERPC after waiting 3 weeks for a natural loss. I stayed in bed for a good month as I just could not face anything. It is hard to predict how you react from day to day. One day I would say it was no big deal and then another I would cry non stop for 4 hours. If you feel going to work will help you, then do that, especially if you have a good relationship with colleagues.

Hope you have all the support you need.

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Goodluckbear · 26/01/2010 18:02

Sorry for your loss Onlygirl, glad your DH is being great and hope you are getting lots of TLC.

I had a missed miscarriage at the start of the year, and I went into work between the scan and the ERPC, just to keep busy. My work colleagues were really supportive (the ones who knew) and I did cry in the office a bit, but they were understanding.

Sounds like such a devastating experience . Just do whatever feels right for you, if you want to be in work or if you want to stay at home, it's a confusing time so just take it one step at a time.

I can tentatively say, it does start feeling a bit better with time - but I know that doesn't help right now.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

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FabIsGoingToBeFabIn2010 · 26/01/2010 18:05

Sorry for your loss.

If you want to go to work, go, but leave as soon as you can if it gets too much.

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onlygirl · 26/01/2010 19:43

Thank you all so much it has been really hard especially keeping happy faces with our 2 boys!! hopefully work will be ok and then i will be off next week. Boss has been great about it all.

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nickschick · 26/01/2010 19:44

thinking of you only girl- a rotten horrid thing to happen x

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catinthehat2 · 26/01/2010 20:03

Very sorry, it's really horrible for you. Do what you need to do, when you need to do it.

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asquashandasqueeeze · 26/01/2010 20:29

Hi there, sorry you are going through this.

I am in the same position and am going into work - I'm still waiting for the final scan to confirm the mmc (have had 2 already though and have been going through this for 2 weeks now).

I don't know how long I'll need off after I mc/have the ERPC, and feel that although I am fairly crap at work atm, at least the time goes fairly fast. I haven't told anyone at work yet though,

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Boos75 · 27/01/2010 14:45

Am so sorry for your loss. I had an early scan two weeks ago at 7.3 wks that showed things had stopped at six weeks with my first pregnancy. A couple of scans later, during which time seemed to stop, and I had my ERPC yesterday.

I found that being busy and at work was the best thing for me when I was waiting between scans and before my ERPC. Luckily I work in a small team of really supportive people and they all knew, which really helped. Ironically I think I was more productive last week than I had been in months as work was such a great distraction. Now I'm having a few days off after the ERPC (which went really well and was no where near as scary as I had feared)and I'm finding it a little harder emotionally as I'm not so busy but am taking time to rest before going back on Monday.

I would do what feels best for you as you and your emotions are the most important thing to look after, and if means not going into work or just going in for a few hours a day then that's great. My theory is that I would rather tell peole what has happened as (most) people can be so kind and understanding that I'd rather people know so they give me some space. However, do what makes you feel comfortable. x