Miscarriage = Abandoned by your Midwife?

[FannyAnn]

Hello,

Please allow me to introduce myself: I'm a 3rd year Student Midwife with a particular interest in supporting women who have suffered a childbearing loss. In June 2005 I myself suffered a missed miscarriage at 13 week's gestation, complicated by subsequent sepsis following ERPC during which I very nearly lost my life.

While the clinical management at the time was exemplary, I have to say I was utterly appalled at the lack of compassion shown to me by the staff who were supposed to be 'caring' for me throughout my ordeal. While some adopted a cold, 'matter of fact' approach, others seemed completely out of their depth and appeared not to know how to act or what to say to me, which in turn, made me feel worse.

However, the biggest blow to me was that on losing my baby my relationship with my midwife ended. She was a lovely individual with whom I connected immediately and we had met on 3 occasions during my early antenatal appointments. I was, therefore, shocked and upset that she didn't phone or visit me after I lost the baby. I was in a terrible state emotionally and had so many questions that I needed answering by someone I trusted - I felt completely abandoned by her, as if the fact I didn't have a baby in my womb anymore meant I was no longer worthy of her time.

As part of my third year studies, I'm looking at formulating an holistic care pathway to guide Healthcare Professionals in caring for women who have experienced early pregnancy loss, concentrating specifically on the role the Midwife plays during this time. Having spoken to numerous Community Midwives, I am sad to say that many do not see it as within their remit to be contacting/visiting women in their caseload who have experienced early miscarriage.

I therefore anticipate an uphill struggle to effect any change! However, I am determined in my aim and in order to support my endeavours, would be interested in hearing your experiences/opinions about the way your care was handled during early pregnancy loss, in particular the impact this had on your relationship/opinion of your midwife. I would also like to know exactly what you would like or expect from your Midwife during this time (preconception advice for example)and any other suggestions you think may be of relevance to a Care Pathway of this type.

Many thanks in advance and my heartfelt sympathy to all those mourning the loss of a little one xx

So sorry to hear your story and the lack of support you received at such a sad loss.

I miscarried in October, discovered at my 12 wk scan I'd had a missed miscarriage at 10wks.

In my case everyone was very caring, although I did feel a little abandoned and left to get on with it once I'd left the hospital. It took 3 months for the bleeding to stop and nobody seemed interested in answering my questions.

The main reason I'm posting though is because with this pregnancy, as with my previous 2 successful pregnancies I didn't have any contact with a midwife until after my 12 wk scan, and thought this was normal? I had my booking in clinic with a gp, then nothing until after the dating scan. So I'm wondering if for most people who suffer early miscarriage may be in the same situation.

I do however feel something needs to be put in place to support women going through this. I phoned the early pregnancy unit to ask some questions when I was bleeding very heavily starting to mc naturally and was told rather bluntly they couldn't help, phone the out of hours GP.

I also think in situations like your own, where you had contact with a midwife prior to your mc, a visit from them to see if you're ok, have any questions would be very valuable.

I hope you do succeed.