Mmc - is it safe to have 'lost' pg for 3 + weeks? Am scared

[Boos75]

I'm sure lots of threads have a similar post to this but I wondered if anyone can help. I'm 34 and this is my first pregnancy. I paid for a private scan last Weds (was 7 weeks 3 days) and the Dr said he couldn't easily see a heartbeat and the baby was measuring small if my dates were correct. I spoke to my GP who got me a scan yesterday at my local EPU. They measured the baby the same - just under 6 weeks when according to my dates (which I'm pretty certain are accurate) I would be 8 weeks today. I know this pregnancy isn't going anywhere but they want me to go back in next Sat to be completely certain. The waiting is killing me as I know I can't move on until I either naturally miscarry or have an ERPC.

I guess what I want to know is is it ok to have a 'lost' pregnancy inside you for maybe 3 + weeks? I've not had any bleeding at all (though am going to be wearing pads to work this week just in case)? Is there anything I can do to bring on bleeding in a safe way? I know a natural miscarriage is meant to be pretty horrific it's just that I want this to end asap as am completely heartbroken and want to be able to move on so my DH and I can start TTC again soon. I have to remember that we were lucky to conceive the first month off the pill but at the moment everything is feeling so hopeless as my hormones are still raging.

Sorry to hear you are going through this.

Firstly I just want to say that a natural miscarriage is not always horrific. Each of my miscarriages (have had 6 now) have been nothing more than a normal period at the stage you are at.

If you are not bleeding then it is fine to wait to see when your body will recognise that the pregnancy is over. It is fine to have a "lost" pregnancy inside you at this stage, many women would not know until they go for their 12 week scan that anything is wrong.

Your body may not recognise that the pregnancy has ended very quickly, but since you are not bleeding, there is not the risk of infection to worry about.

Some people find having a natural miscarriage easier to deal with emotionally, some people find the ERPC easier to deal with.

Both can be hard as each other in terms of bleeding and pain etc, but it is an individual choice to decided which is easier emotionally. Some women have no choice due to infection risk etc, to have to have ERPC, but you are not in that category at the moment.

Allow yourself time to grieve for your lost baby. Waiting for the pregnancy to be finally over is hard, so do take care of yourself.

Thanks rainbowdays. Am sorry to hear about your losses. I'm not sure I would have the strength to go through this more than once so my heart goes out to you.

Thank you for your advice. I'll see where I am when I go for the final scan next Saturday and will see if I can wait again for a natural mc to happen. x

So sorry your going through this

I had a mmc which was discovered the scan at what should have been 13 weeks that the babies had died at 8 weeks and then they made me wait a week for the erpc. There isn't a risk of infectio. Unless your bleeding as your us completly closed.

I've had 2 other mc aswelland none of them have been painfull at all, I hope it's the same for you x

so sorry for your loss. With both my mmcs I waited 4-5weeks before my body started to miscarry naturally. I had a week of bleeding, one day where it was very heavy with contraction-type pains that lasted about an hour before it was over.

The thought of a baby being inside you and not developing is not something that every woman can handle, but it isn't dangerous.

Boos75 I am very sorry to hear about this. I would really recommend going back into the EPAU and having your hcg levels tested.

If your dates are somehow wrong (could this be possible), then the doctors need to confirm whether this is in fact a miscarriage, rather than you being earlier in you pregnancy than previously thought.

I think that they do prefer for things to occur naturally these days, but I can see how the wait must be agonising if you don't know what to expect. In the meantime you should continue to look after yourself as though you were still pregnant, and ensure that you either have a scan, or repeated hcg levels tested, before having any procedures carried out.