MMC - Medically managed or ERPC?

[babychickens]

Hi everyone, i am new to this but really could do with some advice/opinions on what to do.

I have been waiting for over 2 weeks to miscarry naturally but its just not happening. I started to bleed at 11w 6d and was sent for a scan next day which showed baby had died at 8 weeks.

I was absolutely devasted and hospital gave me the option of an erpc, medical management with tablets and pessaries or to just go home and wait for it to happen naturally. I chose the natural option as thought it would be best, natures way right? But nothing is happening. I was scanned a few days ago but told that the sac and everything still there. I was basically told the same options again.

Part of me wants to go straight for the erpc to get things over with but both times the nurse discussed this with me and my partner she has really stressed the risks of womb damage making it harder to conceive again and naturally neither of us want this.

Although I know quite a few friends have had this done and gone on to conceive within weeks/months later it still worries me and my partner is espcially worried by this. He wants me to have the medically managed option but i have read some really awful things about this and also there is still a chance that may not work.

I am so confused, upset, angry. My partner is not very good at talking about things and seems to be able to carry on as normal, where as I am still so emotional. This was our first baby together and we were both so excited. I have two children from my previous marriage aged 10 and 8 and breaking the news to them was awful, I suppose I took it for granted that after having them with no problems and getting to 11 weeks I would be ok.

If anyone can give me any advice on what I could expect from the medically managed option then I would be very grateful :-)

xxxx

Hi Babychickens,

I don't have much advice I'm afraid - I just wanted to say sorry about your loss, didn't want your post to go unanswered.

I had a missed miscarriage at New Year, and I had the ERPC on the 8th Jan. So I can tell you what that was like, but not the medically managed option I'm afraid!!

Hope you are feeling ok, big hugs,

xxxxxxxx

Thank you, its a crap way to start the new year isn't it?

I know I will be ok once this is all over with, kinda wish I had the erpc straight away, hope fully it will be over with soon so I can move and look forward to trying again!

xxxxxx

hi babychickens sorry to read of your loss I am waiting it out naturally too

I think you will read many a horror story about all the options but you will also read plenty of good (as they can be) outcomes of each option, thing is us ladies are all so different so we all react differently! Sorry this is not much help......I think the risks for the erpc are quite low from what was explained to me and hubby and I elected for this option as this is my 2nd mc, my first was at 20 weeks so I had no option but to do it naturally sadly, so I wanted this one over with asap. I have been refused the erpc due to a medical condition though as I would have to be an in patient so am not a priority, although this will be reviewed after 2 weeks.

I can't advise on the medically managed option, this wasn't even explained to me.

Wishing you a speedy recovery x

Thanks allthe8s, sorry to hear of your loss too, such a crappy time. i wanted it to happen naturally but dont think it is going to happen anytime soon.

It seems from reading on different websites and talking to friends that alot of hospitals have different procedures on dealing with a miscarriage. Mine started before new years eve so i kind of really want it over with now.

I know what works for some doesnt for others, i suppose we have to do what we feel most comfortable with, the way the nurse i saw talked about the erpc made it sound like it was the worst option, with chances of damaging the womb making it very difficult to conceive again. Think this has scared the hell out my partner and he doesnt want me to have it. Although it may be the only way if the medically managed way doesnt work either.

Take care
xxx

Well just wanted you to know I was in exactly the same boat back in Sep,and I ended up having both procedures so I know from both sides too!

I had mmc and was also put off the ERPC by possible stories of damage to womb. So I chose medical management. It was manageable, by no means pleasant, but got through it and coped with it. The worst bleeding was on day one but I still bled for 2 weeks. Now I was very unlucky (apparently) so this may not happen to you but I did still have some retained tissue and developed an infection so I ended up needing an ERPC 2 weeks later anyway. This was fine and now having had both procedures I can easily say the ERPC was much easier emotionally and physically and the drs reassured me the chances of damage were very minimal. So if I ever had to make the choice again (god forbid) I would def choose ERPC for me.

If it helps you to know I am now pg again (9 weeks so far!) and conceived after one period after the ERPC.

Aah congratulations clothaddict!

Am due to go in tomorrow morning, but the more i think about it the more i think i just want erpc, at least then hopefully it will all be over with in a few days and my body can get back to normal, am so fed up of bleeding now, don't know if i really want a few more weeks of it!

Hi

It's so hard to know what to do. Go with your instinct and whatever makes the whole awful process easier for you.

I had my first mis nearly 3 years ago. Like you it was my first pregnancy. I had a scan at 12 weeks and found out the baby had died at 8 weeks. I went home and tried to go naturally. I was scared to death and didnt know what was going to happen. How bad was the pain going to be etc. I bleed for 2 weeks past alot of blood and clotting but when I went for my scan it was all still in there. So, I had an ERPC.

Unfortunately, this was not to be my last.

Thankfully I have had a beautiful baby (now a feisy toddler) in my next pregnancy. But, since trying for my second disaster has struck again. I had another missed miscarriage last October. I immediately elected for an ERPC as I did not want the emotionally rollercoaster of waiting. The ERPC went really well and 2 weeks later I was beginning to feel like myself again.

My husband and I started trying straight away and 2 months later we were pregnant again. We say were but it may be are. I started bleeding yesterday evening (im 8 weeks) and it doesnt look good. Im going in for a scan tomorrow. If the news is the worst I think I have to go for an ERPC again. Is this irresponsible of me maybe but could I put my life on hold for the next month just to more then likely have an ERPC anyway?

Hi wondering10, fingers crossed for you tomorrow, hope it all goes okay. Its not irresponsible at all, i think plenty of women have had more than one erpc with no problems at all and like you say otherwise life is on hold while you wait it out. Its such a crap time, especially with all the waiting and not knowing.

Everyone keeps telling me that it obviously wasn't meant to be this time and it's natures way blah blah blah, i know all this deep down but it still doesnt make me feel any better, i just want it over with so i can get back to normal. My partner keeps getting stroppy with me for looking at things on the internet, thinks i am worrying myself over other peoples bad experiences, but i feel its better to be well informed on all options. Maybe its the hormones or something but god he is annoying me right now, just when you could really do with them to be there aswell!