Cannot move forwards

[confu3ed]

I had a missed MC at teh start of September last year. The ERPC that followed was awful, teh doctors said my periods would return in 4-6 weeks, they did not and I knew something was wrong but the doctors would not listen to me and said it can take up to 6 months! It wasnt until my stomach had swollen up and I was in agony that I referred myself back to teh hospital via the ED. They scanned me and I could see the sac and the embreyo I knew it was not a new pregnancy and they admitted that they had missed it the first time, within an hour I was being preped to have the op again. It was awful going through all of teh trauma again 8 weeks after having it the first time. The doctor said my period would return within 4-6 weeks and if it had not come back at 6 to go back to her, well 6 weeks later and nothing! Had twinges and I know i am not pregnant! The hospital said that they will not see me without a GP referral and now I have to go through it all again, I feel broken. I have had no period sonce June and my baby was suppose to be born soon. Has anyone else been through this or can anyone offer any advice? I need to move on but can't.

I'm sorry - I haven't had the same experience, but so sorry you have had such a horrid time . Have you been seen by just 1 GP for this as I try to make sure I only ever see 1 GP at my practise for mcs as it's much easier to not have to explain everything for the nth time? Also if they know what's been going on with your history, they can refer/prescribe using a phonecall rather than having to do the whole waiting room thing - I HATE waiting rooms...

Also I changed docs after my second mc as I was so fed up with their 'wait and see, sure everything is OK and put your feet up' approach, found a surgery I feel much more confident in now...you can look up on the NHS website and see if there are any other docs near you with an open list, IME is was definitely worth the change.

Plus, have you got a friend who can come with you to the docs if you are finding it difficult to get them to listen - this has helped me in the past.

Good luck with getting a referal and hope you feel better soon. I had MLMC at beg of Nov last year and have only just got my AF yesterday, so I waited about 8+weeks for everything to settle down. Let us know how you get on.

Thank you for the advice, and bb99 that makes me feel a bit better, and yes I will look into changing docs as at my surgery you can never see the same doctor, they just do not take appointments! I just want to put a line under all of this and start trying again but cannot! Good to hear that 6 weeks is an OK time to wait too and maybe after 2 ERPC's it takes longer as the lining is very thin. I just feel bad as the docs give you no aftercare or advice or even details of what they have done. It is a tough enough thing to go through without all of this!

I will try asking for the GP I spoke to last time and changing surgeries as I just do not trust my doc after they did not listen to me before!

Confu I know what you mean about wanting to draw a line under things and if the physical side of things takes a while to settle, then it's just a big reminder (IME) of what's not happening.

I promise you - you will move on in your own time. It hasn't been that long since you had your mmc (not even 6 months?) and it sounds as tho you've had a real struggle with the docs and hosp and everything. Be kind to yourself.

So sorry for what you've been through. It really is early days for you. My second mc was almost 2 years ago and there still isn't a day that passes without me thinking of my losses, but it has got slightly easier after the first year.

My hormones took months to settle down, but emotionally it has taken a lot longer. There will always be stories of people who had a mc and recovered mentally and physically very quickly (how often have I heard well meaning people telling me that ). However, there are many women who find it very hard to look forward positively. Miscarriage definately takes the rose coloured haze out of pregnancy, but I promise you that things will start to get a little better soon. Take care of yourself and don't feel guilty for grieving.You have every right to.

i've had a very early miscarriage but not been through the mill in the same way as you.

i'm sure your luck will turn soon.

I guess in the bigger scheme of things it has not been going on for so long, but it is all the waiting with no answers that drives me mad! Maybe if I stop worrying about it things will seem better soon. And beanie35 you are so right it does take the fun out of pregnancy especially when all my friends seem to breeze through it and are having babies! But hey new year and all that so time to look forwards and not back and hopefully 2010 will be more positive for me and everyone else who suffered a mc last year.

Hello. So sorry for your loss and the trauma you have been through. I had a missed miscarriage in November 09. I too had an erpc. Thought I was going to have to have a second one as was bleeding for a long time but a scan showed only a small amount of blood that did eventually pass. My period has just started nearly 8 weeks after erpc. So it can take a while and I've heard that this is normal. But I think anyway you should see your Doctor again if you are worried. All the best for the future.

i'm sure 2010 will be alot better. i had a nightmare conceiving my first after being diagnosed with endometriosis- two operations, 2 years of trying, one miscarriage but i eventually fell pregnant. when it came to my second, i naturally predicted the same or worse but fell pregnant immediately (as in the day we decided to try again) so life can be really odd- you don't know what's in store for you.

it's natural to feel secretly resentful towards all the friends who have straight forward pregnancies- they'll no doubt have different life challenges though but it's a very emotive subject- you invent so much in starting a family. IT WILL HAPPEN THOUGH.

all the bestest.

I am thinking more positivly about 2010 it is all that you can do! I just hope my period comes soon as I had no problem conceiving this time just did not work out.

It is tough when friends have babies especially as I feel awful for being resentful of them.

Miscarriage is tough, I did have a miscarriage 12 years ago before I had my daughter, so I know how devestating the feelings are, but I got pg straight away then with no problems so naturally thought it would be the same this time. I guess maybe age plays a part in it?

I really do want to try again though as my partner does not have any children. I am just glad I found this site and can talk with other women who can empathise with my situation and offer advice.

sorry to hear about your other miscarriage... how old are you?

Confu, any luck with the docs or a referal yet?

Waiting about really sucks, I can only describe myself as the most impatient person now and with mc there are so often no answers it seems to make all the hanging about even less bearable!

Don't know about the age thing, I think post 35 everything starts to get a bit less optamistic (I'm in that next tick box now ) but how much of an impact that has on mcs I have no idea.

If you want to try again, go for it. Some docs say wait a cycle or a couple of cycles, but why they do this I don't know. I know women who've got pg straight after a mc and gone on to have a fantastic pg and outcome, so do what you feel is right for you and you dp.

Hope all the hormones etc settle down soon and you get a more helpful GP.

I am 34 which means well according to everyone else that there is no rush, but with each year the age gap with my daughter gets bigger and the chances smaller. I feel like i need it to happen this year before I am 35.

I cannot get hold of the docs or a referrel due to the weather which is awful as every day is another day with no answers. I am sure my friends are bored of hearing it and I just want to move on!

I do want to try again but I want a period too so that I know everything still works. I am begining to think they cut out my ovaries whilst I was in there! The weird thing is that my hormones seemed to have settled down but then last week, period like pains and teh emotions to go with it but still no period!

Hopefully the weather will cheer up and I will be able to get to see a doctor for a referral soon. A bit scared about that though as I know they will send me for another scan and the last two I have had brought bad news.

well obviously 34 isn't old AT ALL- i had my second no problem at 34 but i understand you feel anxiety about it...

maybe a brief time out from conceiving might benefit you- i know it seems contradictory, but taking the pressure off a tad might help your mind and body settle back to normal after the recent trauma.

do you have support so you could get away for a long weekend or take time out to get some massage therapy or whatever you fancy/can afford?

I know in the bigger scheme of things 34 is not old, just feels it!

Thanks for the advice I think some pampering is definatly called for, and maybe working on my health some more so that next time is more successful! Need to take my mind off it as the docs are not making appointments at the moment so waiting is the only option.

This is great finally saw a doctor today who would not refer me back to the hospital. He put me on some pills for 10 days that he said is normally used for stopping periods and that at the end I should have a bleed which should kick start my periods. I feel awful I have waited for weeks hoping for an answer and when I finally see a doctor I feel worse than ever. I am scared that if something is wrong and I wait for this bleed and then what say another month for a period and it doesn?t come, I am in the same position that I am now. Not able to move forwards and put this whole awful experience behind me. My baby was suppose to be born in March and its January now and I have still not had a period, over 5 months since I mc.
Has anyone had experience of this drug? OR recommend what I can do, I remain in limbo and as per this post I cannot move forwards!!!