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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

Missed miscarriage but really scared as now bleeding and don't know what to expect

19 replies

Goodluckbear · 05/01/2010 10:53


I came on the other day because I'd just been told I have a missed miscarriage (it's my first pregnancy). I would be 10 weeks this week, but the baby stopped growing at 6/7 weeks.

I'm really scared as I'm bleeding - a bit like a period, but not the same - and I've been having period-like pain and backache - but I don't know what to expect next if this is a "natural" miscarriage? I don't know what I'm supposed to do, I've got an appointment again tomorrow at the hospital for another scan to confirm the miscarriage, but I'm on my own right now, and I'm house-sitting (I didn't go to work today because of the bleeding) so I don't know where anything is and I don't have a car to get back to my home.

Can anyone tell me what comes next? I'm using those big night-time pads, and only changing it every few hours, I presume it gets worse than this as other people mentioned clots - sorry to be dense, but what does a clot look like? I don't know what's normal!?!

Just crying a lot as the doctor just said last week that it might happen "naturally", but I forgot to ask what actually happens and now I'm really scared.


OP posts:
belgo · 05/01/2010 11:00

So sorry to hear this, and sorry to hear you are alone. Is there anyone who can come over and comfort you and give you support?

I remember being very scared of the bleeding. I miscarried at around 6 or 7 weeks and I remember having small contraction - not very painful but identifiable as contractions. I passed clots including the embryo which I buried.

Of course miscarriages are different for everyone, but if you are in a lot of pain (pain that cannot be controlled by paracetamol), or passing a lot of blood (one pad full an hour or more), or if you have a temperature, start shivering or being sick, then you need to contact a doctor immediately. Having said that, most women do not have any complicating when miscarrying in the first trimester and hopefully you won't either.

Look after yourself; these next few days will be hard and you need as much support as you can get.

belgo · 05/01/2010 11:01

complications not complicating

CMOTdibbler · 05/01/2010 11:02

Hi GOodluckbear. So sorry that you are going through this, and especially on your own.

Can you find some paracetamol and (as you are at someone elses house) a towel to sit on ?

How a mc goes, really depends between people, but the initial bleeding might last a couple of days, then get heavier and more painful. You'll pass dark red lumps (the clots and other stuff) that look a bit like liver. Once all that has gone, the bleeding should reduce and get less painful.

You are most likely to pass tissue and clots when you go to the loo. I have to say, you might want to close the lid and flush without looking down after going to the loo.

If, at any time, you are going through a pad in less than an hour, or it is too painful, then call an ambulance as you need to be at hospital.

Is there anyone who could be with you ?

LunaticFringe · 05/01/2010 11:07

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Goodluckbear · 05/01/2010 11:27

Thanks for this. For some reason, I brought an old towel with me from home when I headed over here, so I think I'll carry it around the house with me like a security blanket!! The pain is ok right now, I think I was just panicking because I remembered a scene in that film about Barings Bank where Nick Leeson's wife has a miscarriage and there was blood everywhere and she was rushed to hospital, and I suddenly thought, christ, that would be terrifying.

My mates are all at work (and I haven't told them yet) but my husband can come back whenever. I think I'll just call him if it gets bad - right now having a big cry and feeling sorry for myself seems therapeutic. And tearing up all my free maternity prescription/booking appointment info/letter from GP about pregnancy type stuff and throwing it all in the bin was therapeutic too - fortunately this is a detached house so nobody can hear me, I think if I was back at my little flat the neighbours would have called the psychiatrists in by now.


OP posts:
belgo · 05/01/2010 11:31

Goodluckbear- miscarriages aren't usually that traumatic! Nearly all of my friends have had a miscarriage and none of them had any significant complications and all went on to have a baby afterwards.

Your hormones will be up and donw for a while - I was relieved when my miscarriages was over but I wasn't prepared for the emotions I felt in the weeks after.

Goodluckbear · 05/01/2010 11:50

Those Miscarriage Association leaflets are really good by the way, I guess it isn't quite as scary when you know what's coming.

I keep crying a lot, it's strange, as I cried loads last Tuesday when I had the scan, a little on the days after, but today just loads and loads again.

OP posts:
LunaticFringe · 05/01/2010 11:55

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belgo · 05/01/2010 11:56

Crying is normal - I remember crying a lot the day it happened, then feeling relief but crying a lot in the weeks after.

bosch · 05/01/2010 12:04

Goodluckbear - so sorry to hear you're going through this, and on your own too.

Its completely ok to go to hospital and ask for pain relief if you need it - I had an injection (morphine?) with my first mmc.

Its also completely normal for hormones to be all over the place, and for some time too. I found the mc bit of the MN book on pg to be very helpful when I had my second mmc and it brought back memories of the first mmc.

Sadly, its terribly common for first pg to end in a mc. I went on to have three normal pg. Good luck.

Goodluckbear · 05/01/2010 17:24

Sorry - I have another question - and sorry this is a bit of a overly detailed question - how big are the clots supposed to be? And how many?

Sorry that's a bit horrible.


OP posts:
belgo · 05/01/2010 17:26

clots were maximum 3-4 cm in diameter - if you have any doubts it's best to phone your doctor and ask for advice.

CMOTdibbler · 05/01/2010 17:55

I'd say that if you have more than a couple bigger than 3cm, you should call the doctor. But expect lots of small ones

How are you feeling ?

belgo · 06/01/2010 09:02

How are you GoodLuckBear?

94100 · 06/01/2010 10:52

I am sorry to hear of your miscarriage. I had two missed miscarriages at 8 weeks and chose to "wait it out" and have the actually miscarriage naturally. For both occasions, it took 5-6 weeks for the actual miscarriage to happen, which was a difficult wait as I was working and travelling on both occasions. The first time, I had massive bleeding for 4 hours and had to go to hospital abroad. I had no pain, but it was quite shocking. The second time, I dreaded a business trip as I was scared of bleeding like that again alone in a hotel room abroad... When it started, I got the first plane home and signed off work! It then stopped for a week, and I had another heavy bleeding session for four hours. It was also very painful, like labour contractions. If you have heavy bleeding, like blood flushing out of you as I did, do go straight away to hoospital! I recovered well, but take iron tablets and watch your diet for the next months as you can get very tired. I was very emotional for two months. But it passes and my third pregnancy went very, very well.

LunaticFringe · 06/01/2010 10:57

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Goodluckbear · 06/01/2010 12:08

Thanks everyone.

I seem to be the same today, just bleeding and cramps but no clots yet (I'm keeping an eye out for them - but I've not seen anything like that I don't think).

I had my second scan at the EPU this morning, I was trying not to cry as I obviously knew the outcome (the scan was just to confirm they said), but I ended up crying anyway, it looks so small on the screen, I thought maybe it would've gone now. I've booked in for an "ERPC" (I can't remember what it stands for already!) on Friday, I figured that I'd like to just have it done, although they said there's a chance it might happen of its own accord before then.

I feel bad for my husband now, I know he just doesn't want to tell anyone, he got really upset this morning when I was crying, I think he wants to "fix it" somehow.


OP posts:
Goodluckbear · 06/01/2010 12:33

I forgot to say properly - thank you for telling me about your experiences, and for being here, I don't feel so lonely when I know there are other people out there doing this!!

I does help a lot.


OP posts:
CMOTdibbler · 06/01/2010 15:04

I've had two ERPCs (plus one natural mc), and tbh it was a relief to know that the physical part was over and done with.

Wanting to fix things is a very common reaction with men I think. We told people about our mcs as it explained why we were in a bit of a state, and reduced the silly comments

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