struggling today

[NancyDrewRocks]

I m/c on Christmas Eve. I'd only known for a week that I was pregnant.

I just feel numb - not least because DS2 was due Christmas Eve. Instead he was stillborn in August. What are the chances of that losing a baby whilst mourning a loss?

I feel like my life has taken on something of a soap opera element to it.

so sorry sending you a big hug xx

Ahh love, thats truly shit.
What are you going to do?

What a truly sad combination of events

Give yourself time and space to heal. The numbness will pass with time.

Thinking of you

Thanks ladies - just feeling well and truely sorry for myself today.

Sometimes I sooooo want another baby but other times it just feels like so much to go through. It is pretty much a year today since we decided to ttc #3 and I couldn't have imagined that I'd end the year this way.

I know I need to be grateful for my two lovely DC but some days it is just so bloody hard.

Aw Nancy

So sorry for your losses. Christmas is a tricky time for this sort of thing. I got to bounce my not yet 8 week old nephew yesterday, amongst other things, and it was so tough. Really lovely, but heartbreaking at the same time, specially when DH bounced him - I kept imagining that should be us again in a few months, instead it's a specialist appt at the end of the month and the rest of the nonsense (LMC again last month!).

And as for the season, I am a Christian, but the constant baby Jesusness of it all has been tough. (Easter may be easy - the baby prefix gets dropped!)

I too try to remember to be grateful for the dcs I've got, but it is bloody tough.

Wishing you easier days very, very soon xx

I'm so very sorry.I have no wise or indeed appropriate words but life has dealt you a truly shitty hand at the moment.

sending a {{{{hug}}}}}

I'm so, so, so sorry.

Lunatic thanks so much for your kind message. It does help to know you understand and horrid as it is that you have had to go through your tradgedy that I am not alone.

I still have those days where I wake up and just wonder what on earth happened. This doesn't feel like my life at all. I guess until 2009 hit I had something of a charmed existence, never any serious worries or upsets and then this year stopped me in my tracks. I just feel bewildered. Does that make sense?

I don't know how we go forward from here. I know we will ttc - I couldn't not. But it is so painful. The highs and lows are sometimes unbearable. But I am hoping it cannot get worse.